So I had no idea that Ontario was the bitch province of Canada. I took a nice trip with a few of my freinds to Grand Island in upstate New York over the summer. Turns out, the Canadian/US border is just down the road. Go us! 18 to drink, right? Wrong. Unfortunately I found this out the hard way. We cross the border at night looking for something to do. What pops into our head? Strip club! After asking around for a decent titty bar we come across what seems to be a nice establishment. Sweet! Gonna look at some girls, have a few drinks… good times. So, with our i.d.'s handy, we step up to the bouncer. One by one my friends head in. My turn. I hand him my military id. Its all I had on me since I left my license in my hotel room. His eyes went from the i.d. to me about six times or so, before he proclaims “How about I keep this, and you get the fck out of here?"
"You heard me. Get the fck out of here.”
“Can I have my i.d. back please?”
“You can’t keep that!”
“Call the cops if you want it back.”
I grab my cell phone and dial the local PD. About twenty minutes later the cops show up, and the bouncer starts giving them this story that I tried to use my i.d. fraudulently. The cop turns to me and proceeds to tell me that since I was 18 (at the time) and the legal age to enter the establishment is 19 I broke the law or some shit. So not even the cops are going to give back my i.d. He told me that he could either give me a fine and not give me back my i.d. or just not give me back my i.d.
By then I realized my efforts were useless and suggested to the officer that I must have dropped my i.d. somehwere on the streets, and that my only hopes were that whoever finds it destroys it. So we left. End of story. 19 eh? You suck Ontario. You suck balls.