Are there places in the U.S. where local regulations, and not funeral rules, state that they are mandatory?
Not local regulations per se, but a lot of cemeteries have rules requiring vaults. They move a lot of heavy equipment around for grounds keeping and grave opening and closing, and having a vault means you don’t have to worry about the casket collapsing under the weight of the Bobcat you just brought in to dig a grave next door.
So the answer so far to the question I asked is “no”.
- Are there actual cases of collapse due to heavy equipment use?
- How much does adding the cement vaults add to the cost of the funeral? Not how much it costs to create it, but the cost to the bereaved.
I just googled it and it seems to be $1,000 to $3,000, but can go up to $10,000 for all the bells and whistles.
I’m glad I’m going for creamation
Found out about this organization I never knew existed:
I like the cut of your jib!
My nephew died suddenly a few years ago at age 41. He had an arrangement with his best buddies to smoke some of his ashes. His wife gave them some for this purpose. I assume they mixed them with pot. It’s not something I would do, but ok. All parties were agreeable.
LLama_Llogophile, I’m really sorry for your lose, and all you’ve had to deal with. It really sucks, and I hope things get better.
Jasmine:
As most people here know, my dad’s a funeral director. And he could tell you while there are plenty of honest funeral directors out there, there are also quite a few that are just the opposite.*
To be fair, it’s not an easy business to work in, and to say they’re ALL just a bunch of predators is not true.
I’ve met many that are perfectly nice, decent people. But there are also a lot of sleaze buckets out there.
Now, mind you, I’m pretty biased, but I was will say that my father hads a good rep, and I do know of others around here who do as well. But I can also point out the ones you want to avoid.
I’m sure your buddy’s dad was one of the good ones, but not all of them are.
*The one guy he worked for when I was a kid turned out to be committing insurance fraud, for example.
A relevant story from a few years ago:
Marvel editor and one-man comic encyclopedia Mark Gruenwald is back in the headlines this week. On Wednesday, his widow, Catherine Schuller Gruenwald, sprinkled his ashes at the Captain America statue in Brooklyn – just as she sprinkled his ashes in the printer’s ink that produced a Squadron Supreme trade paperback two decades ago…
I, for one, intend to outlive the bastard.
Maybe they can jump start the corpse!
One other issue is that more and more funeral homes are corporate owned, rather than family businesses. So you’re going to encounter more upselling, unfortunately.
Your best bet is to ask around, and see which funeral homes have the best reps. (In the future, you can tell friends and family to avoid this one!)
I hope this helped.
I’m sure there will someone equally deserving along in his wake.
This just blows my mind. So much economic effort on a throwaway item that is destined for landfill. Indeed that is it’s purpose. Partly it’s the money that bothers me - I can afford it but feel sorry for those that would have to sacrifice in other areas to pay it. But mostly I’m just bothered by the idea of building something so elaborate and long lasting then putting it into the ground immediately, to no productive purpose (and indeed probably counter-productively).
Like the others, I’m very sorry for your loss.
Over the passed year and a half, I’ve learned much more about the funeral industry due to the loss of both of my parent to COVID and the loss of my father in law to cancer. Preplanning is incredibly important. I was lucky enough to have talked to my dad ahead of time and he was fine with being cremated. Mom had dementia and so she wasn’t involved in any decision making. I went to the funeral home and told them that I wanted to buy 2 cremation policies and that all I had was $4000. They said that they could do it for that. Within a year, both Mom and Dad were dead (within 3 days of each other.) In both cases, I simply called the funeral home and they took care of everything. In about 2 weeks, I had both of their cremains, their wedding rings, and Dad’s watch. It’s a cheapo digital that is set to the wrong time. I keep it on my desk and at 10 minutes before the hour, the hourly alarm goes off and I smile and say “Hi Dad.” Their church had a service for them a few months later. I didn’t attend because of COVID concerns.
My FIL was also cremated but my MIL wanted a service. That was when I learned that you can rent caskets. I had no idea. He was placed in it for the viewing and the service and then it was returned. Saved a ton of money.
I’m very sorry for yours. Losing two parents within a week - I can’t imagine. And as a further kick in the teeth, COVID delaying and altering your grieving process.
And I like your digital watch story. To me, that sort of remembrance is much more meaningful and personal than any fancy casket.
Thanks. In the final analysis, losing both was hard but I think it would have been even harder if we had lost Dad and Mom had survived given her dementia. She never would have understood why Dad wasn’t there.
I was surprised when I learned Costco sold coffins (and reputedly affordable ones), but after learning how much upselling goes on, it’s not really so shocking. It doesn’t speak so well of our society, however.
I guess that’s one advantage to living in a small town. I’ve dealt with 2 different funeral homes in my life, both of which are in small (< 20k) towns. One of these establishments is owned by the founder’s grandson, while the other is owned by a husband-and-wife team that bought it from the original owner. (This pair of owners also owns and operates five other small-town funeral homes, all located less than fifty miles from one another.) Both of the homes that I dealt with had people that were fair, understanding, and quite easy to work with.
I have a question about cremations done in a casket: is this just a custom, or some regulation that must be adhered to? Can I be cremated without one? It’s just such a waste of resources and money.
Your sister sounds like she was a wonderful person.
As for paying for it, since the sister is insisting on that kind of service, SHE should be the one footing the bill.