Here’s one consisting of thread titles currently at MPSIMS:
So I was making random observations during my cross country drive when my kid in the back seat was complaining about too many restrictions we have at home. (He wasn’t happy about having been grounded for breaking the curfew rule). To get his mind off of that, we played a song title game. Then his sister yelled, “Oh my God, WHAT is in my ear?!” as she shook her head and tapped her ear. This is the same sister who we were afraid suffered from anorexia/bulimia a couple of years ago, but we’ve gotten her some professional help. Now she’s got her appetite back and eats normally. In fact, she joked about wanting to eat a platter of roast Guinea Pigs. My wife then started talking about wanting to lease or buy a new car soon because this one has been needing one too many repair jobs. I guess we’ll talk about that on our way to the Indiana Fair.
So a 32-year old guy asking out a 22-year old girl used an odd pickup line by asking her if she’s ever had fun with dry ice. She replied, “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard said in all seriousness.”
This is the Tom show and these are today’s top stories in the Cecil Times.
“Jim Beam warehouse burns. No injuries, lots of lost burbon.” One local interviewed at the nearest trailer park about the fire commented, “I’m seeing the world in a whole different light.” There is nothing to compare to sitin on yer back porch with a beer and watchin firemen try to put that thing out. Sad thing about that booze being lost and all. Hope they had enough in storage to sell me for my christmas party.
Worker at local adult ditributor filed a harrasment suit against the owner. Sara was quoted as saying, he told me it was a choice of him and I trying the new "Workplace Toys, or My Martian Breast Implant " paperwork being rejected. Can you believe that blackmailing me for the Martian job. What is this world coming to?
Indeed what is this world coming to? More news after these 50 commecial messages.
Further in today’s news it the story of the The Woodlawn Cemetery Tour gone wrong. We are going live to Bob.
Tom: Bob, what happened down at the cemetery?
Bob: Well it is really gruesome. It seems some local teenage slueths and thier dog were ripped to shreds last night.
Tom: Why were they in the graveyard to begin with?
Bob: From what we have been told they were investigating the disappearance of quite a few pets in the neighborhood. It seems they from the clues found what ever had been stealling the local pets had been living here.
Tom: Seems they solved the mystery then?
Bob: We think so, but, they seemed to have been killed before they could identify whoever it was to the police. The police think the rubber mask found by one of the bodies is just a red herring left to confuse them. I’ll report back later after the press briefing.
“So long!”, Bob. Well that is all from the news desk this hour. See you at 10.