Write in the Style of the Previous Poster

I was running a search and ran across a thread with the same title from 2004, and it was a fun read, so I thought I would repost it to see what the people who have joined since then can bring to the table. Not being a very active poster in the past few years, I don’t think many would be familiar enough with my style or habits to parody me well enough, so I hereby nominate one of my favorite Dopers, Anaamika, to be the initially parodied.

And go.