Write Like Rue. IF YOU DARE!!!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Well, Kn(insert something clever)ckers, I saw a recipe for jello cake once. You bake a cake, poke it full of holes, pour jello over it, and chill it. It sounded pretty gross. I guess you could make the cake, stick a vibrator in it, and then soak it with milk.

That’s disgusting.

And it could explode if you tried to bake it with the vibrator in and everything. Pretty messy. I wouldn’t try it.

The cat is asleep on his own personal shelf which-I’m-not-allowed-to-put-towels-or-anything-on-because-otherwise-he’d-have-to-sleep-on-a-pillow-instead, poor guy.

22

Hey, thanks, Lissla. And I think I’ll take your advice about the not trying it thing. I wouldn’t want my obituary to say I died as the result of a freak milky jello-cake vibrator explosion.

Plus, think of the mess!
Best wishes to your sleepy kitty. :slight_smile:

23

Dang nab it! I had to go to a meeting this morning and I missed out on all the voting fun. Not that I was going to nominate myself, but still. And I know, I’m just some new guy who’s only posted to a few of these threads. In fact, I’ll bet you’re all sitting around going “Lightningtool. Who the hell is Lightningtool?” And that’s my point. My name is lightingtool, so knock it off with the extra n’s. There are starving people in Canada who could use them, you know.
I guess I’m going to agree with the welby nomination, and I think I need to go practice some more on my Rueation writing skills. Oh, maybe not.
Swampbear, I feel your pain. Although I kind of miss pine trees now that I’m out in sunny CA (that’s California, not Canada, where the starving kids need those n’s), I don’t miss raking the damn things. Speaking of raking, (sweeping, whatever) on my way to my meeting today, a street sweeper cut off a garbage truck, which hit a pothole (I guess that should be pot hole. A pothole sounds like some sort of sausage when you say it out loud) and managed to loose some of its load. An empty tin of Fancy Feast cat food flew out and hit my head. Not the end of the world, I know. However, inside that supposedly empty cat food tin was (I think) the contents of the Evil Cooler that was in someone’s backyard. I got soaked with the most vile smelling liquid I’ve ever encountered. Made the meeting lots of fun, in a neat olfactory way.

So that’s my not-so-jake Monday morning. (I never know how to end these damn things…)

24

Well then, looks like it’s unanimous, everyone can expect a Monday Morning Post from me instead of Rue.

Now the only question is whether to MMP as if I’m Rue, or simply in Rue-esque fashion.

welby (Official Rue Standin)

25

Ooops, almost forgot:

For Kn(Wears a Kiss the Cook Apron)ckers

Jello Cake Recipe

and (Warning, goes to a picture of a fake you-know-what!)

Waterproof (and therefore milk-proof) Vibrator.

There’s not average operating temp for the vibrator, but I figure it’s gotta be tough. Give it a shot. I swear I’ll edit your obit properly if something goes wrong.

26

Thank goodness we have welby to maintain the high tone of these Rue Threads.™

Hee hee.

Plus … a kiss to Kn*ckers. She knows why! :slight_smile:

27

I’ll confess to having made the jello cake, but I did it when I was younger, and my mother helped, so there were definitely no vibrators involved. (Eww!) Therefore, I have nothing to add in re: the top temperature a vibrator could handle. But I wouldn’t imagine it’s a lot, I mean, they are only really designed to tolerate body heat, right?

And why do you have to pour the milk over the cake? Can’t you just have a nice slice of cake and a glass of milk along with it? You people have to make everything so difficult.

Oh, a kitty! Love for kitty. :slight_smile:

28

I don’t dare. So there’s that.
But have a nice movement.

29

That stupid soggy jello-cake recipe was one of the stupid things we had to cook in Home Ec, back in the old days when all girls had to take Home Ec and all boys had to take shop. I would have preferred shop because I could already cook and sew. But no - Baltimore County Schools in the late 60s and early 70s were still stuck in a 50s mentality. So all the girls had to learn the womanly arts and all the boys learned the manly arts.

Hence I am the womanly woman I am today. But I won’t make that stupid jello cake. We got a lasagna recipe that wasn’t too terrible. But it didn’t make up for the accursed cake. Or the stupid jumper we were all required to sew. I got straight As in Home Ec, but I still thought it was a waste of my time.

Oh yeah - I’m back home in Jax now, leaving my not-so-womanly daughter to torment her dad for the next two months. It’s just me and the doggie. All alone in this big house. This big, dirty house. So if any of you get an uncontrollable urge to come to Florida and clean, drop me an email.

And welby - I don’t think you should pretend to be Rue. The title specifically says “Write Like Rue.” Any literate person would know that means that you write your story in his style. Kinda like the poem I wrote that everyone says sounds like something Robert Frost would have written, if he ever wrote about walking to the bus stop. So all you have to do is emulate the Monday Morning Post to get the ball rolling. I get to make the rules since I told Rue he should do this. So there. :stuck_out_tongue:

30

Whatever you say, Fairy Chat Mom. Just don’t make me clean.

31

OK, I’m having a problem with interpretation here.

By that do you mean that I shouldn’t expect you to wield a mop and scrub brush, or that I shouldn’t transform you from filthy to spotless or that you would prefer to be smutty?? I can’t do what you don’t want me to do if I don’t know what it is I’m not supposed to do. You need to be more specific!

:smiley:

32

Please don’t make me clean your house.

Although, the filthy to spotless thing has its attractions. Mmmmmm. Bath time at FCM’s house. :smiley:

33

still reeling and starry eyed from being kissed by Ellen

I have never made a jello cake before, and I don’t think I will anytime soon. I’m a little creeped out by the whole jello concept. I am very interested in all the jello-cake related expertise that has been shared here, though. I had no idea it was such a universal topic.

FCM: I’m sorry you had to suffer through Home Ec. I never had to take it, I guess because they’d given up on making gals womanly by the time I was in school. Or maybe it was because they didn’t trust us hamfisted incompetents with ovens and electric mixers. Not sure. In any case, I somehow learned to cook and clean despite never having been formally educated to do so.

Kn(Baking soda, baking powder - it’s all the same to me!)ckers

34

I told someone once that I had been raised to make someone a good little wifey, but I don’t have the temperment for it. He just looked at me oddly. (But then, he was the kind of guy that I could have an entire conversation with, and somehow not commmunicate anything with each other. I missed his sub-text somehow, and vice versa. Unfortunately, he was my boss at the time.)

I learned to sew at my grandmother’s knee at, oh, five or six or so. I learned to cook about the same time. I ended up taking four years of Home Ec to about six weeks of Shop (we learned to change a tire) because I was sent to Seventh-Day Adventist (SDA) schools where we girls were supposed to learn how to be modest, clean (no jewelery, no make-up), vegetarian, God-fearing wives for our handsome, vegetarian doctor or missionary (dare to dream, girls!), SDA husbands and churn out lots of little SDA children who would go to SDA schools…

I think you see the pattern.

So, what happened to me? Well, see, I was born with an anarchic soul. I question authority. I challenge beliefs. I kick over the traces and bolt for the hills. I eat bacon, I giggle in the wrong places and mostly, bursts into song I do it mmyyy waayyy!

Basically, any religion that won’t allow female pastors is not going to be a good fit for me (not that I wanted to be a pastor, but don’t tell me I can’t). But I’m a pretty good cook, I’m a better baker (make a mean pie crust!), I can fix a hem or sew on a button and I can iron a shirt like nobody’s business. (Actually made spending money ironing the dean’s shirts in high school.) But I’m not married, I don’t go to church and I clean as little as possible.

So, I’ve hijacked my own post a little bit and lost my point, which is that all that time and energy teaching me the “Womanly Ways”, as FCM put it, was all for naught, because I have failed to do any of the things expected of me.

And I think Home Ec should be an elective (which I believe it is for most schools).

35

I can cook, clean, and sew. I prefer to leave out the cleaning, though. I’m not sure about being extremely submissive, either. I really, really like to cook. I just made this pound cake type thing with caramelized almond and sugar topping. It’s cooling on the windowsill. Yum.
What?
Oh yeah, I also really love to sew. Mr. Lissar does not love to step on pins. We have a standoff right now. I don’t think it’s possible to sew without dropping pins.

36

Um… Lissla, about that cake… Were you going to share, or…?

Poundcake type thing = Yummy, yummy, yummy, YUMMY!
Yummy.

37

It is, in fact, completely impossible to sew without dropping pins. It is equally impossible to sew without a minimum of three (3) pin-pricks with blood per sewing session - more if the fabric is light colored and impossible to clean. Further, pins can only be found with bare feet at night.

And I’d like a chunk of poundcake, please. It sounds yummerrific!

38

Try a magnet. Get a nice, large one, preferably with a flat surface and run it about 1/2 inch or so over the carpet. This won’t get the ones that have worked their way deep into the rug, but it will get the loose pins.

Also, I like the pins with colored heads. They are easier to grasp and easier to see whether in the fabric or in the rug.

This is absolutely true. If I tried to sew a light, impossible-to-clean fabric for any reason, I wouldn’t just prick my finger, I’d quite probably open a vein! I don’t know how, but it’s pretty much guaranteed. This is why I have never tried to re-cover the sofa, or anything like that.

39

Oh my word. The womanly discussion has somehow become sew-centric. There are many womanly arts I enjoy but people, sewing is not one of them! I hate it with the white-hot intensity of lno. (Hee hee; let’s see if HE does vanity searches!)

But cooking and baking, I do. Eating? Check. I will also have a slice of pound cake, please.

40

He has a TLA name, so it’s difficult to impossible to do vanity searches. Just to be clear, do you hate sewing with lno’s intensity, or do you hate lno with a white-hot intensity.