Write me a post from the POV of your pet.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Look! They are moving! Finally! Feed me, I’m starving, look at my tummy, it’s touching my backbone and I’m going to faint from hunger. Meeeooowrowrowowow.

Mom is making fun of me again. She’s so unsympathetic.

Dad is going towards the stairs! Yay! Breakfast! Hey, why isn’t he following? I must go up and make him follow me. MEEEEOOWOWOW. Shut up mom.

Mmm, kibble, mmm. Hey, sister-cat, this is my bowl. Oh well, I’ll just eat out of yours, they always give you tastier kibble. OOps, got some on the floor, yum, tastes better there.

What are you doing? Hey, don’t put my bowl up! Nuts.

Ooooo sunbeam. Sucking the life out of a kitty. Feels so good on a full tummy. Think I will just close my eyes for a second…

Damn sister-cat, must chase. Oh, look, a squirrel! I want to chase! Looks so yummy! Oh, birds! Robins, my favorite!

Take me ooooowoowout. I want out. Take me. I’ll bug you until you do.

Yay! We get to go to the mailbox! Ooh, scary car. Very scary. Take me in! NOW!

Damn sister. Must chase.

Soft blanket. Soooft blanket. Time to knead. Feels so good. Love mom. Love dad. Love everyone. Snooze.

DINNER! Nowowowowow! Stop making fun of me!

Mmm, lamb and rice and kibble. It must die. Chomp chomp, oops, got some on the floor, that’s okay it tastes better there. Burp.

Curl up with sister-cat on chair. Looks like she needs to have her ears washed. Hey, I’m washing your ears, stop trying to lick my chin! Stop it now! Okay, you asked for it! I hope you like your ears BITTEN.

Now she’s running. Must chase. Oh, so tired. Must snooze.

That’s my bowl! Don’t put it up, it still has kibble in it! Nuts.

Dad is making a fire! I love dad. Fire feels so good on a full tummy. I will close my eyes for just a second…

Mom, you have a lap. I like sitting on laps. Coincidence? I think not.

Hey, stop moving. Okay, fine, I’ll leave.

Goodnight. Dad, stop moving your feet.

22

I feel leapy,
Oh, so leapy,
I feel leapy and nifty and light!
And I pity
A hammie who isn’t me tonight.

I pit climbing,
What’s with climbing?
It’s alarming what climbing can do!
But so leapy
That I hardly can live on the wheel.

23

Why is he staring at that thing with the white sheets and black squiggles?

He must be trapped by some sort of powerful hypnotic ray it’s emitting.

There’s only one way to defeat this diabolical machine. I will interpose myself between him and the “book,” and absorb it’s terrible rays.

Don’t worry, beloved furless food-giver, I’ll save you!

24

A squirrel!! (Attacks the sliding glass door and barks non-stop for about ten minutes…) Darn, it’s gone. Must wait for another squirrel…Those damn things. Think they’re smarter than me, HUH? ANOTHER ONE!! You little punk!! I’m going to rip your bushy little tail right off your ass!! Damn, it left…I’m gonna wait here till they all come back and then I’m going to rip of ALL their tails…Oooh, the family’s having pork for dinner today!

25

Pudd’n (aka Her Majesty):

The clumsy two-legs have forgotten to fill the food dish again. snif It’s so hard to get good help these days…
Macy (aka the Feline Stewie):

The stupid humans haven’t twigged to my secret plan to kill them all and take over the house by sleeping right at the top of the stairs in the dark, thus tripping them and causing blunt trauma injury. The house and all the food in it will be MINE! Bwaahahahahahahaaha!
Scraps (aka the Pretty One):

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ball! Pretty! Shiny! Colors! Hungry! Mrow! Mrow! Mrow! FOOD! Eat! Shiny! Run! Chase sis Macy! Chase big sis Pudd’n! Chase! Scratch! Pretty! Shiny! Ooh! Hungry!

26

“L’existence doit précéder l’essence. La volonté libre pour choisir one’s pour posséder la signification est notre compensation pour l’absence de Dieu. La vie est absurde et sans signification, autre que cela que nous choisissons de lui donner.”

Surely I’m not the only one who keeps existentialist philosophers as pets. The French breeds are the best, because they’re so cheap to feed: why, they eat all the parts of animals that we don’t!

27

::getting the silly giggles at you all::

mq qmq qnqmqmqqmqm 1818181818181818 ,//////////uuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrr111333333

[toolbar on the left side of my screen]

28

Christmas Eve, 2004.

The fools, they still suspect nothing. Already the Parrotship is approaching their puny little star. Soon all the sunflower seeds will be ours and we will see ‘Who’s a pretty bird then!’

29

purrrrrrrrrr
<yawn>
<ssssssssssssstttttttttttttttttttttrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch>

<munch>

<wander to bedroom>

<crouch>
<shake butt>
<leap onto bed>
Now what is Human yelling about? I was falling off the bed, I had to grab onto Human’s foot.

<walk across Human>
<flop onto Human’s stomach>
purrrrrrrrrr

Hey hey hey, I’m trying to sleep here. Don’t put me on the floor. Oh well, might as well eat.

<munch>

What’s that noise. Human is standing under the falling water AGAIN? What an idiot. Might as well curl up on my freshwater dispenser and watch. Oops, better move. Human thinks it’s a litterbox. Might as well use my litter box.

<Section deleted in deference to common decency and cat’s privacy>

Now what is Human yelling about? I dump, Human covers it with the spoon thingy, what’s the problem here? Ooooooooooooooooooh, a box I haven’t sat in since last night! Wheeeeeeeee! This is fun, ooooooooh my tail, I haven’t seen you since whenever, gonna getcha, yes I’m gonna getcha gonna getcha gonna getcha gonna getcha gonna getcha gonna getcha. Whew, room is spinning Okay, now Human is laughing, my work is done. Hmmmm, Human turned on big box with pretty pictures. Human is laying on my sleeping area.

<sniff>

Hmmmmmmmm. Human used funny stuff in hair. And hair is still wet. Time for fun. What is Human yelling about now? I like to tangle paws in Human’s long wet hair and lick Human’s wet hair. Maybe Human should get my nails clipped so I can do a better job of destroying carpet. Hmmmm. Tired. Time for nap. I’ll just lay on the back of the couch.

<yawn>
<ssssssssssssstttttttttttttttttttttrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch>
purrrrrrrrrr

30

Baby: <snore> What’s this? Humans are home. What joy. I. Am. Not. Moving. The waterbed is all mine until 6 pm and it’s only 5:48. Not. Gonna. Do it. Ooooo look! Tall human has taken off his leg coverings and laid them on my bed. I’ll just waddle over to them and sniff … DAMN! It was a fiendish plot! He took them away from me and hung them in the small room! Oh well. Since I’m up, guess I’ll go eat. HOLY CRAP! It’s Empty. EMPTY! I’m Starving! Feed me Feed me Feed me Feed me Feed me Feed me Feed me Feed me Feed me Feed me … dammit. Diets suck. I’ll just curl around the food bowl until <snore>

Boy: <snore> Huh. Wha? Stop walkin’ on me, Baby, you fat… Oh look. Humans. <plop> Scratch my belly. oooo… ehhhhh A little to the left. ahhhhhhh

Stella: Don’t look at me!! OK scratch me just a little. The others beat me when you leave, you know… Evil tricksey kittensssss. I said don’t look at me!!

31

The entire thought process of a puppy…

What’s that?
What’s that?
What’s that?
What’s that?
What’s that?
What’s that?
YOW! Gotta pee!
What’s that?
What’s that?
What’s that?

32

Oh look! The only person in the house is going to the bathroom! I’d better follow along to get attention.

jump

Looks like he’s taking a dump. He is held captive on the toilet! purr, rub

He’s wiping now, which means I’ll rub up against… nothing, and fall off of the counter.

OOC: This just happened and I thought it would be funny to start a thread about it, but someone else already did. She’s right behind you when anyone goes to the bathroom… guess it’s a captive audience kind of thing.

33

Meow! :stuck_out_tongue:

34

Ohmigawd I’msoooooohorny. hornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhorny
WHO THE HELL TOOK AWAY THE BOY CAT’S USEFUL PARTS??
Let me out. Out. OUT. LET ME OUT. NOW. NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.
Ohmigawd I’msoooooohorny. hornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhornyhorny
Let me out. Out. OUT. LET ME OUT. NOW. NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.NOW.

::lather, rinse, repeat. thankfully she goes in for The Operation on Wednesday::

35

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… and so forth.

36

Where the hell are are the shtupid monkeyth? My food dith ith empty, and it’th been, like, three dayth thinth they left. Don’t they know I’m tharving here, all by mythelf?

Well, on the bright thide, at leatht they aren’t here to annoy me and pick me up and pet my belly againtht my will. God, I fucking hate that.

Oh, thit. There’th thomething under the comforter on the bed. Better kick the thit out of it! Ah, yeth. Now I can get back to thleeping.

(Yes, my cat has a lisp. Why do you ask?)

37

hahahahaha :slight_smile:

How do you know?

38

Maybe he hitthes instead of hisses?

39

hahahahaha :slight_smile: :: getting no air ::

40

Time for an early morning vomit…why don’t I do it by my human’s bed.
goes through cat-door into bedroom
urp

Oh look, she’s awake!
OK, I can leave now.
leaves through cat door

(later)
Ooh, my human looks very busy. What is she doing?
jumps on bed
Ooh, a bunch of cards with black and red on them.
bat bat bat
Hey, why is she moving me over?
I think I’ll sleep on the cards. I’ll need to arrange them to my liking first.
pat pat pat

Why is she moving me away again? What an outrage. I’m leaving.