Oh man, Chris has really neglected cleaning me for the last week or so. I’m feeling the grime up to my handle. Hey, You! Why don’t you apply the brush to me once in awhile? I mean, I think I deserve it after putting up with your bad aim all this time.
Lose some weight!
I am so good to you and i catch crap for it every day. WTF!!!
“Please kill me.”
“Please kill me.”
“Please kill me.”
“Please kill me.”
“Please kill me.”
“Please kill me.”
“Please kill me.”
“Please kill me.”
Oh shit.
Asshole.
When you see the ring…you wish you were dead.
“Oh no! Another full moon!”
“Notice how I make you come back and jiggle the handle every time you flush these days? Maybe you should have thought twice about eating those bad Hot Pockets!”
“I like to flush myself for no good reason while you’re in the other room. I know it creeps you out.”
“I’m so glad I’m not lieu’s toilet.”
“No! No! Not again!”
“God, he’s back. Will he clean up when he misses this time? I wish I had hands. Just for one minute… pull his f*$#(%& cock off and beat him to death with it.”
Hey nice to see you. It’s not often I see a new face around here.
Ooooo, probably the shrimp , eh?
“Ze goggles! Zey do nozsing!”
<hijack>
Scientist 1:We’ve developed an incredibly fast, incredibly cheap, incredibly effective wireless solution for computers!
Scientist 2:Cool, what will it be used for?
Scientist 1: Well, people will be able to surf the internet in the can.
pause.
Scientist 2: Doncha hate it when you sit there so long the blood goes out of your feet? So you’ve gotta stand in the stall, leaning on the door fighting the leg tinglies?
Scientist 1: Sometimes you wierd me out, man.