This is my last thread about wedding stuff, I promise (from now on, I’ll start marriage threads :D). I’m writing my wedding thank you notes, and I’m stumped on the thank yous for cash/cheque gifts. Do I just say thanks for the generous gift, or do I need to specify what we actually did with the generous gift? Also, we bought a number of nice items for the house, but we can’t really break it down into one item per cheque - some were less than the amount of any one cheque, some were more. Everyone was incredibly generous, and I want them to know how much we appreciate their gifts, so I don’t want to say the wrong thing here. Ideas, anyone?
I just gave cash at a wedding in a card.
I am no Emily Post, but I would prefer to get a card that says, “Thank you for the $100 you put in your card to us.”
But I wouldn’t be upset if they simply said, “Thank you for your gift of cash.” - or some variation of that.
I think it would only be important to note the full amount if the envelope was given to a third (unfamiliar) party. I gave it to the bride, so if she lost it, tough.
But if I had given it to some stranger behind a table, her third cousin visiting from out-of-state, I might be more suspect of the full amount reaching the happy couple.
Thank you so much for your generous check / your generous cash gift. We put it toward buying a number of assorted nice things to help us set up housekeeping. It seems we are surrounded by reminders of our thoughtful family and friends.
It was lovely to see you at the wedding! We were so glad you could come. (Whatever personal stuff you feel like inserting here.)
Love, featherlou and featherdude
Yes, Scarlett67 - MUCH better than my “thanks for the cash. We bought beer.” approach!
(BTW, it has been three weeks and I still haven’t gotten a thank you card from the wedding I mentioned above…hmmm.)
“Thank you so much for thinking of us, and for being with us on our special day, blah blah blah.”
Or your generous gift.
I wrote “Thank you for your generous gift. It will come in very handy” or something along those lines.
Hey, DMark, she’s got 2 months after the wedding to get the cards out. You don’t think she got home from her honeymoon and starting doing thank you notes while the hubby unpacked, do you?
As for writing such a note, Scarlett has it down pat. I do like the idea of being a little more specific as to what you’re spending it on, though.
Oh, shoot me now. I forgot about having to write thank-yous. On the bright side, I finished my headpiece!
Yes, that’s even better, when you can do it! We had a small “quickie” wedding, no registry, and people didn’t have much time to shop, so most people gave us cash. We added it to our weekend honeymoon fund, and mentioned that in the thank-yous. But after the wedding we received $100 each from my aunt and my mother, and pooled those gifts to buy a glider rocker. Of course we put that in their notes as well.
I guess that would be my cutoff point – if you got a gift of $100 or more, it would be nice if you could associate it with a large item. But if you got a bunch of envelopes with gifts of $10-$50, say, and went on a shopping spree at Target for little stuff to round out the household, then itemizing would be a PITA. In that case I’d stay general.
“We put it in our honeymoon fund” rather than “We bought 2/3 of our hotel room one night”
“We bought some little things for the house” rather than “We bought two ashtrays and a paper towel holder”
“We’re putting it toward the purchase of a new computer” rather than “Your $20 will buy us half a modem”
and so on.
When writing out my thank you notes for those guests who gave us checks (and boy, oh boy, did I like them checks!), in my thank you notes, I was specific about the use of the money.
Dear Aunt Gertrude -
Thank you so much for your wedding gift. As you might know, Billy Bob and I just purchased our first house and you gift is helping us with furnishing it in the way we’d hoped. We appreciate your generousity and will often think of how your gift helped us realize our dreams of a lovely new home.
Dear Aunt Gertrude -
Thank you so much for your wedding gift. Your generosity has helped us finish off our collection of china and complete the set. I will think of you everytime we use it.
You get the gist. Yeah, maybe aunt gertrude’s check didn’t specifically get used in the manner that I mentioned but we did pool the wedding money that we recieved to complete our china registry and also we used a bit of it to complete our kitchen remodel. I think people like to hear specifically what you did with the money. Maybe not but I liked telling them the story, nonetheless.
Also, you probably know this, but it’s considered bad form to mention the specific amount of the check. The giver should know what they gave without the mention in the thank you note.
Dear Sally Jo,
Thanks so much for your generous gift. We put it to good use on our honeymoon when we (ate too much/swam with dolphins/got his and her massages…whatever) It was great to see you at the wedding. I thought you would like this photo of you and Uncle Dan-what a character! Who would have thought he would make good on his threat of wearing the salmon for a hat. I hope we will get to see you when we are in your neck of the woods for (Bible camp/Stones concert/Burning Man)
Of course, my family is a bit weird. I would concur you do not mention the amount given.
Mentioning the amount, or indeed even the form (cash/cheque) gives a slight impression of your supplying a reciept. I think trishdish has the exact right tone, make them feel as if their gift was an important part of you having a nice time. Obviously don’t tell 3 people that theirs was the gift that completed your porclain set, but try to find something specific that their gift can be a part of. Extra points if you can make it be a part of (in reality or tale) something in which they approve. For example, I would love to know that my contribution meant they got a more kick-ass computer than they were planning on rather than thinking that my cash went to ensuring they have special “guest linen”. My mother however would much prefer it the other way around. Agree 100% to the “we will think of you when we etc”. It makes the giver feel a part of your lives and it’s always nice to think somone is thinking kind thoughts of you. We recieved a pair of huge teacups as a wedding gift which means I think of that giver a couple of times a day, and always with a smile.
Great ideas, everyone. I’ll probably combine a couple of notes here to write my actual thank yous (that’s not plagiarism, is it?). So, people want to know what you did with the cash, eh? I suppose that’s fair. (And no, I’m not mentioning amounts - I didn’t at the gift opening, and I won’t now - everyone who needs to know already knows.)
(Lissa, if you want some advice from someone who’s just been through it, my only regret about my wedding is that I just didn’t like my dress. It was too big on top and had to be altered, and it never fit right. I had second thoughts about it right up to the end, and although everyone said it looked good, I just wasn’t comfortable in it. I guess what I’m saying in a long-winded way is listen to your gut. If you think you’ll look stupid in a hat with flowers on it, don’t wear a hat with flowers on it. Oh yeah, and wear comfortable shoes. To heck with three-inch heels, no matter how good they look.:))
(unendurably smug) I made my dress. It’s in the closet, crumpled into a ball, waiting to be ironed… oh, fine, it’s hanging up. But it still has to be ironed several times before Dec. 28, preferably by someone else. It’s simple, it’s comfortable, and I’ve had two friends claim it for their weddings (if and when they get hitched).
I’m going to wear cotton socks and comfy shoes. No heels. I actually wanted to wear silver Docs, but I was shouted down.
I’m going to expire in panic before my wedding- I hate organising little picky details. We met with the caterer yesterday, so it is almost all planned…
I’ve registered at UltimateWedding. Has anyone else noticed that wedding planning is almost a weird alternate reality? You get into this headspace where you honestly think it’s important that the flowers are perfect and your tiara is taller than anyone else’s. It’s really scary.
Have I killed this thread? crazycatlady? featherlou? Somebody?
Yes, Lissla, you’ve killed it. {cue somber music}
When talking to people who went to a wedding just before mine was to take place, one of the things they told me that stuck with me was that nobody really notices the details, and to not sweat the small stuff. I wasn’t getting too crazy (I think), but it is important to not get into that “weird alternate reality” (good description, BTW). I can’t wait for the next family member/friend to get married, so I can help her with all the fun stuff without any worries. Weddings are going to be so much fun from now on, now that I’m not the one putting them on. 
I have a bad, nasty, panicky feeling that my best friend and another close friend are going to get married in the summer. I’m supposed to MOH at both. I’ll shoot myself. No, I’ll just arrange really weird bachelorette parties for both.
And I have to make at least one of their wedding dresses. And probably headpieces, too.
Oh, if anyone wants to finish hemming my veil for me, do let me know and I’ll fed-ex it to them.
Lissla, is your hubby-to-be going to wear a cape? He should. And have a sword strapped to his side. That would be so cool.
(Groan) I’d have to make him another one. His current one isn’t nice enough. Although (speculatively) he could borrow Euan’s black cashmere silk-lined cloak…