Wronged! by the SDMB

I demand redress for harm performed against my person by the Straight Dope Message Board (“SDMB”). At approximately 2:55 pm MDT (UCT-07:00) on the 12th day of July in the year of our Lord 2005, when attempting to access my paid-in-fully account with the SDMB at the uniform resource locator http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?f=3, I received the message “Sorry, down for maintenance until 6PM CST.”

My damages are enumerated as follows:
[li]I’ve lost approximately 125 minutes of SDMB access time.[/li][li]The use use of “6PM CST” is clearly a misleading way of indicating “7PM CDT” since the location of the SDMB is such that daylight time is observed.[/li][li]The use of a comma where a semicolon is better prescribed has caused such a shock that incalculable psychological damage is sure to have taken place.[/li][/ul]
Damages: for 125 minutes I have suffered a loss of access valued at US$0.001778 based on a subscription price of US$7.48 for 525,960 minutes of access. Therefore I demand satisfaction of this miscarriage of justice such that after six (6) years have passed, I be rewarded a US $0.01 discount on renewal of my SDMB subscription.

It was only down for like, 28 minutes for me.

28 very long minutes, nonetheless.

Thanks for getting it back up so quick, techies!

Obviously you ain’t from around these parts. Here is the proper way to sue:

(1) Actual damages, loss of board time: $0.01
(2) Compensatory damages (for vodka consumed & porn downloaded during downtime): $75.42
(3) Punitive damages (pain & suffering, etc.): $50,000,000 plus my own late night talk show.

Calling Larry Parker as we speak…

You must really, really like techies.

Or he understands how crappy most software is. Especially the proprietary kind.

That originally said “1PM CST.” Jerry can’t always tell time.

Perhaps if it was expressed as the number of seconds since 1970-01-01T00:00:00Z he’d do better. :wink:

Um, Derleth. I think Tenar was joking about the “getting it up” part.

Shhhh! The makers of Viagra and Cialis don’t like the competition!