I don’t think anyone pronounces Virginia with 4 syllables. Pretty much the same for Australia, but I suppose there might be someone somewhere who does. Virginia Beach has 4, but the stresses don’t really match.
Virginia native here. No, we pronounce it with three syllables. “vir-GIN-ya”.
Gorsnak nailed it:
Sask and atch tend to mush together.
I’m glad my parents signed me up for the Universe Standard at least. The speed limit in universe light would be a real bummer. The aging and death thing sucks though.
So basically SKATCH-(uh)-wahn. That makes sense.
Interesting, because other guides I found online had that extra first syllable, e.g.
First syllable is the 1/2 in my counting.
s-SKATCH-wun
Having had a chance to listen to the YouTube clip, it’s mostly fine aside from the final a, for which locals (or me, at least) give more a short u sound rather than the short a in the clip. The last syllable is precisely the same as ‘one’ or ‘won’. Otherwise if I’m actually ennunciating I say it pretty much like that. I just rarely enunciate ‘Saskatchewan’ because I haven’t got all day.
I’m not entirely sure that there’s enough added value in the Standard one to justify the price.
This one is reminiscent of Ten Thousand:
Catching up: seeing Valencia in the list at the bottom of the America Songs brought to mind the Decemberists’ song. I’ve decided that Schenectady is the most amusing substitute for Valencia there.
O Schenectady
With your blood still warm on the ground
Schenectady
And I swear to the stars
I’ll burn this whole city down
And the Universe price tiers: I think $49.95/month would be a bargain just for having the meaning of life clearly explained. (Suppose you stopped paying the monthly fee - I assume they’d have to come wipe your brain of any knowledge of the meaning.) Let alone “Bad things don’t happen” and aging and death being an opt-in.
No, they’d just kick you down to Universe Lite. You’d still remember the meaning of Universe Pro; it just wouldn’t be applicable any more.
Meaning of Universe Lite is 36
If I happen to be the first person to set foot on Mars or any other body, I am so stealing that. 
I would have gone for
“This one small step for man, but a huge leap for a mankind.”
I suppose this belongs here, as it’s certainly xkcd related.
Minutephysics did a video based on one of the entries in What If? 2
Minor nitpick with that video. It went by pretty fast, but I’m pretty sure it said Uranus is not visible with the naked eye. Not quite true. Uranus is magnitude 5.8 or 5.9 so technically is visible. Admittedly, it would require a dark sky (hard to find these days) and good seeing. And picking it out of all the magnitude 6 stars would add to the difficulty.