There were so many points where I said half to myself, half out loud, BAD WRITING!!
Among them: The mere idea that the NSA is going to be keeping tabs on the extreme athletes/outlaws in the uS and is seriously thinking of using them as secret agents.
Now, I am willing to suspend my disbelief for just about anything when I go to the movies:
The idea that space isn’t a vaccum, so that you can hear explosions ie: Star Wars
*The fact that every car, truck, hell every gas powered motor vehicle in the movies is packed, packed with gasoline and will explode in a huge fireball if the vehicle is even lightly touched by anything bigger then a Superball.
The idea that human beings can outrun fireballs, even though fireballs normally travel inxcess of 150-200 mph.
However, even I have my limits.
And they were reached in XXX.
Oh, I’m going to spoil it now, so if you haven’t seen it and don’t want your “enjoyment of the flick” to be ruined, close your eyes now.
There is a scene where XXX triggers an avalanche and then proceeds to snowboard ahead of the avalanche. He also is somehow faster then the snowmobiles which are chasing him, as they are caught and buried in the avalanche and he is not.
HUH???
What, did someone say something about a plot? Pshaw! Vin Desil doesn’t need a plot. He can read an ad for dog food and it’d still make it to the top of the box office.
goes back to day dreaming about Vin Desil being all hot and shirtless
Next thing ya know you’ll have a Steven Seagal poster up on yer bedroom wall!
And what the hell kinda name is Vin Diesel, anyway? What’s his real name? Vincent Davis?
Puhlleeeeeease!
Aw c’mon, it wasn’t that bad. This 25-year-old wasn’t exactly doing cartwheels in her eagerness to see it, but she walked out of the theater amused and mildly entertained. And she can be pretty anal about movies that don’t make sense.
Ya gotta admit, the movie had some cool parts, including the flashiest credits sequence ever.
C’mon, it’s movie physics. All fireballs in movies propagate at around 3 1/2 miles per hour. And the shockwave is always cool and cushy when it flings the hero and heroine down the corridor, so that they’re never burned nor shredded by shrapnel. (At worst, the heroine might be attractively disheveled.)
The best thing about the movie, as far as I’m concerned, is that every time they showed a dangerous fluid (knockout juice, chemical weapon) it looked exactly like Mountain Dew. Extreme!!!
I’d always wondered what a movie would be like if it had absolutely no artistic input and was driven completely by marketing departments. Now I know. I think the greasy Eurotrash Russell Croatian bad guy was a nice touch, too.
I have to admit, I guiltily enjoyed this one, but there were parts that had me giggling quietly to myself. It’s not enough that he jumps a dirtbike over the druglord’s compound’s wall, while shooting at the bad guys - no, he also throws himself backwards, holding on to the seat with one hand while shooting with the other for no good reason! I don’t know - I guess that movie was just so blatant I couldn’t hold a grudge.
One thing that got me wondering is that if all you needed to do to take out the radio relay station was start an avalanche (and who the hell builds a station in an avalanche zone, anyway?), why XXX didn’t just drop a few genades from the helicopter.
The X-Ray goggles that can take colour pictures was amusing in an incredibly stupid kinda way. It occured to me then that if you needed a plausible way for him to see through walls and take pictures, you could have given him a small hand-drill and a pinhole camera (of the type we’ve all seen a million internet ads for). He could just drill a small hole through the brick’s mortar, push the camera through, and take all the pictures he wanted.
But that would be injecting credibility, and we can’t have that in a goofy mindless popcorn movie.
On the “Bond” scale, I’d put it just below Moonraker and just above Diamonds are Forever, at the bottom third of the pack.
I’ve seen XXX in the theatres TWICE already and I’d go again in a heartbeat. Tons of fun for a summer afternoon.
If you went there thinking it was going to be even remotely close to a plot driven Oscar contender, you had some serious problems to start with, and I venture to speculate that you went to the movie EAGER to rip it to shreds.
It’s a movie intended to rip off Bond at every turn, complete with gadget explanation scenes, M character, Q character, all we need for the next one is a Moneypenny.
Vin Diesel is so hot as to make me nervous to look at him lest I burn out my god damn corneas. I was drooling with arousal at every turn.
His real name is Mark Vincent, for the record, and he’s thirty five, and I will bear his children within the year.
As a 41 y.o. guy, I wish to be re-incarnated as Vin Diesel. Ultimate cool. As compared to Segal, he gives even a stupid movie like this humour, warmth and quite a lot of tongue in cheek. He knows it’s stupid and let’s the audience know it too.
I enjoyed it immensely, just becuase it WAS so incredibly stupid. Terrible overacting a go-go from the baddies, zillions of Bond references and really cool, totally unbelievable action sequences, very good sound (as with The Fast and the Furious).
My only concern is - what if it was made as a serious attempt of a modern Bond-flick. Then it stunk. But I just can’t see it that way. Too many references to Bond to be anything but a testosteron/stereoid parody.
XXX is hilarious. Hilarious, I tells ya! Any number of times, I would either think of the next line or whisper it into my husband’s ear, and 8 out of 10 times, I’d gotten it exactly right.
Clearly, I am ready to be an international spy, hobnobbing with lowlives, taking drugs and fucking beautiful people. Am I ready to go head-to-head in a contest of wills with a scarred yet razor-sharp Samuel L. Jackson? Yes. Yes I am.
When did he take drugs? It was my understanding that XXX is supposed to be a ‘new generation’ of secret agent, and a ‘behind the scenes’ special I saw said that we were supposed to note how well he took care of him self. At the bar he ordered cranberry and soda and a scene was deleted where he had a salad for breakfast while everyone else was scarfing coffee and donuts.
Interestingly, Vin Diesel smokes in real life, which makes him forty nine times sexier than XXX. purrrrrrrrrr