Such are the perils of a long distance relationship.
My gf came to visit me in NZ for two weeks. The question was popped. She said “yes”. We bought a ring. ->sparkly<- She met (all) my family. We went to my sister’s wedding. We got to talk lots and make some decisions about our future. We had some fun *not talking *too. We had a magical two weeks touring as much of the country as we could and taking far too many photos.
But I have just come back from the airport. It will be a while before I see her again – and not before I quit my job, pack my things and move to another country. It’s all a bit emotional and there are a few tear-stained hankies around the place. I have never been happier, but I am really miserable at the moment.
My one true love and I have been living together here in LA for the past 7 months since she came back from Boston. She came back here on a leave of absence from school when her brother died of cancer.
Next month, she goes back to Boston to finish up her PhD. I stay here in LA. We get married when she gets back, which will be another year.
Another person who has been there, done that offering congratulations and condolences. It’s hard, but you can make it. Do you guys have to get a visa for you to move to be with her?
Thanks for the encouragement. Yes, I know we will make it. We wouldn’t have gotten this far if we didn’t have that confidence. But it doesn’t make things feel a whole lot better at the moment. And i’m sure you all know what i mean.
Some details for those who are interested. We met online nearly a year ago. (Through eharmony.com) She lives in Australia – inland from Brisbane. I’m a kiwi. Six months of emails and phone calls of increasing frequency. Then we finally met just after Christmas. I was shifting house from Auckland to Christchurch – not an insignificant sort of a move if you lok at a map. I sent my stuff ahead and went via Sydney so that we could have a week together. THree months lter we got anoter two weeks together, this time in her home town. And just recently she spent two weeks here.
I’m not sure what the long-term plan is – we haven’t decided which country we will live in. There are significant push factors and pull factors for both of us. In any case, immigration in either direction is quite routine. There are close ties between the two countries.
The short term plan is that I move to Australia ASAP and we begin to plan a wedding. We will live there for a while at least, and maybe permanently.
Twenty-four hours after saying goodbye, and I am missing her like crazy. I guess I’m smitten. There is lots to do, but I’m not thinking straight to do anything. And I don’t really feel like seeing anyone at the moment. You’re lucky my typing is this coherent. I should probably go for a run or a walk or something. It is a stunningly beautiful day and the endorphins will do me some good. I can’t get down about the situation: the future is looking too good. But it is easy to feel like there is a hole by my side.
Congratulations! At least immigrating between Australia and NZ is still very easy and fairly routine. And as a NZ citizen you’re automatically covered by Medicare from the moment you arrive.
We’re in Brisbane and I do like living here. I miss Christchurch desperately at times but the climate is definitely better and the economy is much stronger.
I have two good friends I introduced in Berlin…one was from a small village in West Germany, the other was from Christchurch.
They got married in Berlin and went on their honeymoon to Christchurch.
Fast forward 24 years…they are both still happily married, living in Christchurch and have two great kids. The German part of the family has gone to NZ to visit many times, and they go back to Germany whenever possible.
As others have pointed out, it is no biggie for Australians and New Zealanders in the sense of going back and forth…play it by ear and see where you are happy, and I am sure your friends and family in NZ will be more than happy to use “visiting the kids” as an excuse to come over and visit.
It could be worse…you could have gotten engaged to Bjork and be flying off to Iceland. That would be a bit of a schlepp.
Seriously…congratulations! Are we all invited to the wedding? We’ll bring pie!
I have no advice for you, other than my sympathy for your situation, as I have been there myself, and the words all of our parents have used on all of us at one time or another: It does get better. Patience. Ten years from now you will be able to look back and laugh about this, just as Ginger and I laugh about the stupid hoops we had to jump through when she emmegrated.
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Thanks for the encouragement. Yes, I know we will make it. We wouldn’t have gotten this far if we didn’t have that confidence. But it doesn’t make things feel a whole lot better at the moment. And i’m sure you all know what i mean.**
I know that being apart from the one you love is never easy. I’m sure it’s incredibly tough on you right now. But it’s good to see that you are confident about the relationship despite the separation.
**Twenty-four hours after saying goodbye, and I am missing her like crazy. I guess I’m smitten. **
You sure sound like you’re smitten
**There is lots to do, but I’m not thinking straight to do anything.
And I don’t really feel like seeing anyone at the moment. **
I think I would feel the same in your situation. I know what it’s like to miss your other half that much!
I can’t get down about the situation: the future is looking too good. But it is easy to feel like there is a hole by my side.
Yep, definately smitten. Well, best wishes to you and hopefully you two can be together real soon.
It is difficult … I’m still in that situation but only for another few weeks. In 12 days, I fly to London and Emofkuniv and I will get married in 19 days (7 August)… can’t wait!!!
The distance is hard and it does get harder the longer it goes on … saying goodbye at the airport is horrible but I console myself with the fact that I do have someone so special in my life that I can say goodbye to for now… before that, I had no-one… a bit of pain before a lifetime of pleasure is so worth it. The thing we did to make it better is always have the next visit planned before we left each other - that way, you both have something to focus on.
Be patient, in time you two will be together forever… have you set a date yet?
And congrats on the engagement too!!! Its an exciting time and a lot to organise but its fun and the best thing is you’ll be together forever at the end of this waiting period… you get the best prize in the universe for your patience
