Y'all know we're our own worst enemies right now, doncha?

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m not in a hugely tolerant mood right now. I’ve spent the best part of the last 24 hours searching for the woman down the road who disappeared last night on her way to the garage (about 150 metres from my home) to buy a packet of smokes and a bottle of Coke ™.

Quite literally, at least a hundred people in this neighbourhood last night gave up their plans and their sleep to go searching for this woman.

By 8:30 this morning her (4, pretty young) children were absolutely convinced that something really bad (read “mummy is dead”) must have happened to mummy because mummy would simply not have gone to the garage to buy smokes and coke ™ and not come home.

Well, guess what? Mummy did exactly that, and I am so fucking angry that I have watched those 4 children go through a night of thinking their mother must be dead (not to mention what her husband has been through, walking the streets overnight and trying to cope with the children’s uncertainty) that I just want to walk down the road right now and smash the fucking shit out of this woman. And because there is such a thing as the SDMB, and because there is such a place as the Pit, I can ventilate my anger here tonight and still be an effective person in my neighbourhood tomorrow.

To all of you people who want the Pit wiped off the face of the Earth - this is EXACTLY why it exists. You really think that my acting on my intuitive impulse to go down there and bash the crap out of that woman right now would in some way benefit her children? It wouldn’t. I know that, you all know that - I’m just glad that I have a “safe” place in which to ventilate.

The Pit can be a very valuable place - I’ve often times found it so - and I’d like to quite seriously ask those members who argue against the very existence of the Pit to remember that us Western kind of people are right here and right now fighting a WAR which essentially boils down to the issue of the right of the individual human being to think what they want, believe what they want, and behave how the choose.

Y’know - in the grand scheme of things, a lot of threads on this messageboard have become irrelevant. I can’t think of any threads which have become more irrelevant at this point in time than the “why was (insert your current, favourite, jerk) banned?” threads.

I’m sorry and I’m angry (bad combination), but we don’t live in the Fox Maulder world of “I want to believe”. This is here, it is now, deal with it. Or if you’re having trouble dealing with it (and I wouldn’t blame you in the least for that) then come here and ask for help. If you trusted this community to be there for you and tell you the truth pre- S11, then you have no reason to not trust us now.

2

Feel better?

I commend you on venting here, and not going out and bustin’ on someone’s head. Even though it would have been well deserved.

I too, am getting bored with the “Why was so and so banned” threads. People get banned because they overstepped some boundries, boundries that we all accepted when we registered, so people get over it, and move on.

And I think the Fox Mulder credo is, I believe, the truth is out there.

3

No comment on the bad mummy, but may I say that for myself, my objection to the pit has zero to do with things like this. I think the pit is great for things like this.

I think the pit is great for venting and ranting about everything * except * fellow Dopers. I think if two (or three or ten) Dopers have real beefs with each other, they should take it to e-mail, instead of publicly eviscerating each other for sport, and save the pit for rants about bad mothers, animal abusers, stupid celebrities, assholes at work, and fuckhead politicians.

4

Reprise, just for my own curiosity’s sake . . . what on earth was that woman doing all night?

5

So, did she return?

6

Yes mummy returned, and to her husband’s everlasting credit he didn’t throw a punch at her.

No-one’s really sure where she was, but she seems to think it’s “cool” that so many people were frightened about her welfare.

She told me this morning that she deliberately put her cellphone on “mute” because she didn’t want to talk to anyone. Not wanting to talk to anyone, I can deal with. What I’m finding hard to forgive is that she didn’t ring someone (and I couldn’t give a shit who she rang) to get a message to her family that she was OK.

I never, EVER, want to see anyone’s children as distressed as those kids were yesterday (and in particular the child on whose birthday she pulled this stunt).

In a few days time, when I’m not quite as angry as I am now, I’m going to invite her to lunch. Clearly, the fact that she did what she did indicates that something isn’t right in her life. Maybe there’s stuff she needs to talk to someone about, maybe there isn’t, all I can do is try.

7

Reprise, that is a truly awesome act of goodwill for you to do. To care enough about this woman, and not be overwhelmed by her sudden lack-of-reason disappearance is a great thing. Hats off to you for giving up a night to look for her, and having the balls to do what you’re doing. No one grudges you any anger or frustration you feel. You are most certainly not only doing the right thing, but the incredible thing.

8

That’s just plain fucked up.

There must be something really wrong, I don’t think people can be that stupid and self centered.

However because I do have a tendancy to overestimate human decency I recomend bringing a Do It Yourself Lobotomy Kit™ with you to that lunch. I’m sure you’ll improve her quality of parenting.

9

My sympathies, dear heart, that must have been a wretched night for all concerned, including the object of your affection.

What she did to her friends and her husband and especially her kids is not right but I bet you’re correct that it’s symptomatic of a larger problem.

It might well be that walking away for some hours was the best, safest, sanest thing she could do in a bad situation. Still don’t make it right but perhaps seen in that light it’s understandable.

My mother tells this story, about coming home from work one night and being surrounded by five young children all hollering for attention and etc. and she thought, “god, I’ll be so glad when Mama comes home and she can take these children off my hands.” Then it hit her that she WAS the Mama and there was no one coming to help her and she sat down in the floor and cried. She wasn’t the first nor the last parent to have this reaction.

reprise, you’re really a good friend and a good neighbor. Everyone else, don’t be so quick to judge. Walk a mile in them stilettos first.

your humble TubaDiva
who has been there on both sides of that story and they weren’t even my kids!

10

Uh-huh, Stoid.A nd you’ve never done that. Right.

11

Kinda makes you wish they’d arrest her for just being stupid, eh?

Esprix

12

i’ll bet she was out whorin’ around! givin’ out “under-dumpster-thunder-bumpers” to winos and frat boys!
(oh boy, am i gonna catch shit for this comment! hey, easy, its the pit!)

13

We need a dropped-jaw smiley.

14

I mean, not just :eek:, but a jaw dropped to a length greater than that of the rest of the head, a la Looney Tunes. :eek:, to me, just looks like a gasp.