I finally broke down today and subscribed to SDMB. I’m offically a doper now. 
I am humbled to now be counted among the ranks of some of the most intelligent and witty folks I’ve come across in a long time. 
(There wasn’t a suck-up smiley.)
A Lurker No Longer, A Doper I Be!
Yay! Welcome!
Does your username have anything to do with cotton?
Well, welcome to our ranks! If you’ve been lurking, you know you’re required to send me a love offering of fine chocolates. No, really - it’s a rule! Ask anybody!
Would I lie? Would this face lie??
Congrats! Welcome! (Would someone please send in the Lonk?)
Nevermind about cotton; or, indeed, about any other mundane, terrestrial textile.
pimaspinner but undergo the Rite of Initiation!
Bring forth–The Goat!
Prepare—The Squid!
Here – try this one – :o
Welcome!
pimaspinner - one who spins pima cotton into yarn for various high end uses such as sheets and shirts.
More correctly, one who used to. I spent 7 years in the textile industry in almost every capacity. I sell automobiles now. :eek:
But really I’m a good person, really. Really!
Hello pimaspinner. Be welcome. Enjoy your stay. 
Well I was going to Welcome you and all, but now I am not so sure. 
I guess there is nothing wrong with car salespeople, at least most of them, well maybe some of them, well maybe a few. Maybe you are the exception? Wait, New or Used car sales?
Welcome to the Board and enjoy your stay.
Jim
Drat, I thought you might be another handspinner. Oh well…
I never learned how to do that, but I certainly understand the process and the painstaking skill involved. Go you!
As for the car sales thing, it’s new and used, and I’m one of the good guys (girls).
Welcome, welcome! I will withold judgement on the car sales thing till we can see more. That said; Welcome, welcome!
And the straw.
I’m too lazy to Googlemap it. Where is Apex? Is the BBQ there vinegar-based, or tomato-based? These are important questions, people! The Initiation can wait until BBQ is settled!
So, you’re still spinning.
Welcome, [sub]tehe (Ducks and runs away.) [/sub]
Apex is a gloriously livable suburb of Raleigh. You can get your BBQ either Eastern NC(Vinegar-based) or Western NC (Tomato-based) style here. We are smack-dab in the middle of the state and have the best of everything here. It’s the peak of good living. No, really, that’s what all the signs say. And if you are wondering, I like Western style BBQ.
Let the initiation begin. :::clap clap::: Did you say goat and squid? :dubious:
Well, since you’ve been such a good sport… mind standing over on this big red ‘X’ on the floor? Just like that–thanks. Now hold this straw and just sit tight for a second…
flees
Welcome to the boards! smooch