Yeah, I'm pretty much an idiot, yes?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Well, I’ve actually got three dates set up, two lunch dates and a dinner date (with Ashley, Lauren (I know, I know) and Mary, respectively.) For right now, Lauren is out of the state visiting family so that’ll happen in a couple of weeks, probably; Ashely and Mary are this weekend, Saturday and Sunday.

You know, a lot of the reaction that I’m getting from you guys is based on an obviously limited viewpoint of the situation, the women involved, and myself. I admit that it’s a catharsis of sorts to put my thoughts in writing here, but you’re only reading about the things that I’m struggling with here, and lately for the most part it’s been Lauren, She Who Is Bad News and I know it but I keep going back to her. Another thing; I know I made Lauren out to sound like a raving loon, but that wasn’t really fair; she’s really not *that *bad. Not saying she’s a *good *choice for a mate, either, but I’ve also been with her when she’s not in a bar and putting on a front, and she really is very likable, smart, funny, cute, all that. It would be a lot easier for you all to see some of the reasons why I keep responding to her if you were able to witness the interaction.

To those who noted that I’m reacting instead of thinking; yes, you’re right. And this is kind of what I meant when I said I’m at least partially thinking with my dick, because I keep responding to Lauren, who I know is Bad News, but it’s because my dick keeps telling me that there’s a decent chance of getting laid. And yeah, I know the reaction to that is likely to be, “No, there’s no chance of you getting laid with her, idjit!” But this is the basic pattern I’ve developed; I react when attention is paid to me. I DO initiate contact, it’s not like I just sit there and hope someone talks to me, but I don’t think I’ve ever turned away from someone who showed some interest, even if I initially didn’t notice them or know them in any way. So Lauren continuing to show SOME kind of interest (she’s texting me from her home state while on her vacation trip)…yeah, I’m going to respond to that.

By the way, the haikus are cracking me up (really!)

302

Cuckoo, make yourself
a nice, hot, warming cup of
shut the fuck up now.

Really.

303

Sixthings, brew yourself
A nice tall, frosty glass of
“No one made you read.”
Really.

304

Dude, whatever shit you put on the world wide web, I’m welcome to.
Thank you.
That is all.

305

Yeah, I know it’s out there for public consumption. Didn’t say you couldn’t read it, just said no one MADE you read it. If you’re annoyed by it, you have a lot of other threads you could read instead. It’s like channel surfing, you know; if you hate reality TV, switch the channel instead of watching it and bitching about it like it’s your punishment in lieu of jail time. Unless you just *like *bitching about things that you choose to expose yourself to, which is, again, your prerogative. Whatever floats your boat.

Hell, I’ll take a shot at it, since really I didn’t have to respond to you, either; the “Thank you. That is all.” bit? Yeah, that isn’t a checkmate on the internet, no matter how cool you think you are when you type it. It pretty much just means you’re full of yourself, maybe feeling a bit superior, and you want to show the world (a very small slice of the world) how you just Won The Thread. Congrats, that was quite a feat! I’ll have to be sure to not piss you off in future threads, or you might quip me to death.

I look forward to your witty rejoinder.

306

Jeez. I’m sorry** Cuckoo**. You seem to have mistaken me for Someone Who Knows Not What She Does.

I love the way you reveal yourself. Explaining the (bleeding) obvious, starting rather diplomatically (like the helpful caring guy you like to think you are) and then getting all childish and angry and insulting (in 17-year-old speak)…and yet…pining, nay inviting a witty rejoinder date.

Man. If that’s your dating MO, no wonder you’re alone.

Hey! You might want to start a thread about that!

307

Oh no he di-in’t!

308

I love you Autolycus.

And don’t worry Cuckoo. I won’t quip you to death. Bludgeoning is my preferred method.

Goddammit! I Won The Thread!!!

309

I’m seriously thinking about having my 13 yr old son read this thread.. I’ll probably have to promise him a Wendy’s baconator to actually do it.. but I think It firmly illustrates the point I’ve been telling him lately.
The second best answer a woman can give you is no.. Goddamit man ( i know you don’t believe but theirs irony here) get off the pot. My breakup with my wife has led me to more happiness with a wonderful smart woman.. geez.. the sun rises in the east every day dude.. don’t waste YOUR time with drama queens.

310

Sorry, all declarations of Thread Winning have to come from an outside source to be valid.

311

Damn, Cat Whisperer!

Cuckoo said I did. But I guess what he says accounts for nothing…

312

Oh, hey, he did say that! I just skimmed over the bickering. :smiley:

313

This thread and a Wendy’s baconator, Chicagojeff?

That’s a whole lotta puke for an unsuspectin’ teen..

Be nice to the kid. Frighten and nauseate him in a much kinder way.

Oh Cat Whisperer, you missed so much…

314

When Lauren is crying on your shoulder about how badly Summer Bad Boy Hookup #9 went and you’re simmering with resentful self-pity, please re-read your quote before posting about it here. If you won’t listen to us, Cuckoorex, then please listen to Lauren: she’s not going to sleep with you, because she doesn’t want to sleep with you. An occasional cuddle or handjob will keep you around as her convenient Agony Aunt and she knows it. You are not a passive victim here; you’re an active participant and you know it. So, to answer the question posed in your thread title. You might not be an idiot but you sure are acting like one. Stop it, why don’t you?

At the risk of stealth bragging, let me gloat about long overdue my date. I started the evening by taking a deep breath and reminding myself that “PYT” has said in so many words that he’s waaay interested, so I should just take his word for it and try to have fun. A boat cruise around the harbour led to kisses at sunset, dinner led to footsie under the table and, because I refused to fear what I was feeling, our goodnight kiss ended up in bed. It was awesome and yet … awkward. Very. I giggled inappropriately and was so nervous my hands were shaking. I felt like a virgin, which isn’t as great as Madonna makes it sound. And my young paramour? Well, he was a total dick about it, made fun of me and then stomped out of my apartment while using his iPhone to update his Facebook status to “just had the world’s worst sex with a pathetic old lady named PotLuck – gross!”

Wait a minute. That’s not how the evening ended. That’s how I feared the evening ending, which is why I didn’t want to date him in the first place. So, let’s me try again.

And my young paramour? Well, he was the perfect drink of water to end my dry spell. He was patient and giving and if I had the technology I would clone him for profit and market him to lonely, fearful women. And within ten minutes of him leaving, he texted me to say he had a great time, hoped I had no regrets and could he see me again?

Fuck yes he can see me again.

315

Whoops – I double posted in ecstacy.

316

Good work, Potluck!

317

Cuckoo. I’m younger than you, but I think we have some tendencies in common. Particularly the “rescuer” tendency. Lose that one now. It will only cause you pain. You can’t fix other people. They have to fix themselves. You can help them and give them advice, but don’t expect for them to change. You have to be willing to be with what you see in front of you. This means don’t get involved with “broken” people. If you really care about them, be friends. Maybe after they fix themselves, you can be more. And how sweet would that be? Having said that, here are my recommendations for you. As always in matters of the heart they are easier said than done, but here they are.

Lauren is broken. This means she is not relationship material. She is sleeping with lots of guys. That means sleeping with you isn’t anything special. If you must, attempt to maintain a friendship with her. No more than that. If you can’t stop thinking of her as more than friends, end the friendship. If she ends up fixing herself, you can start fresh and go from there.

Stop going to bars. As you have already noticed, it’s not the best place to find long term relationship material (generally). Secondly, even if you find a good woman there, drinking clouds the mind. It’s not the real person you’re talking to if they are drinking. In my opinion.

Enjoy your life as yourself… and women will be attracted to that.

I’d recommend getting back into church, but obviously that’s a deep personal decision. You’re going to find a woman more suited to your heart in a church than in a bar. Not to mention way less drama and pain (in most churches anyway).

That’s it for now, good luck.

318

Well, there’re 45 minutes of my life Ill never get back. Why did this go on this long? Why is it still going on (aside from the entertainment value in a ball-less whiner explain over and over why he is ignoring the perfectly good advice he’s gotten from multiple sources repeated multiple times with the best of wishes and intentions). This started out with a question “I’m a guy (with some details added) asked out by a girl (with some details added); should I go out with her?” There were enough answers to that question in the first 6 replies to choose one you liked and follow it, or take a sample and follow the majority and move on. The rest of this is comical mental masturbation to substitute for what you’re not getting because of your chosen actions or lack of them And before you throw that “but I’m sincere so it’ not fair for you to snark at me”, that reply flies the first time. It lost it’s air-worthiness the first time you posted afterward something to the effect that "you guys are probably right but I didn’t follow your advice… So save it, no one made you read this reply either and I paid my dues by reading every one of your self serving posts. I feel I’m entitled. For those of you who are frustrated with all the good advice you’re giving and he’s ignoring, you don’t see the parallel here? Think lost causes… What’s that saying about trying to teach pigs t whistle?

319

You’re right, I was being immature in my response. Sorry.

320

The only advice that I haven’t taken so far is to get the hell away from Lauren. I have dates set up with Ashley and Mary, so yes I did ask them out.

You know how sometimes you can read good advice but you really need to hear it spoken to you by a friend? I got that earlier tonight. And no, I didn’t go into everything that’s in this thread. I was at a party at a friend’s house, and started up conversations with a few women there, and I broke the ice just fine, engaged them for a while, and eventually they moved on and at the end of the night, a few of my friends asked what happened, it looked like so and so was interested? Two of my buddies told me that I simply never close the deal, and that’s why they move on. I move way too quickly into friend territory and never recover.

Yes, I KNOW that’s what a lot of you have been saying, but hearing it from friends I’ve known for over a decade and who actually were observing what happened does carry more weight. I wish I had had that conversation with them earlier, it would have saved me (and everyone else) the trouble of this thread.