Why is it that people simply must rubber-neck? Not only that, but to do it, they have to s-l-o-w way the hell down and completely fuck up traffic?
Yesterday (among many, many other days), I was heading home when suddenly :: the entire three lanes of traffic comes to a standstill. We do the accordian shuffle, 5-10-15-0 mph, for about a mile-and-a-half and then, sure enough, there is a cop with a car in the median.
The car isn’t damaged, it’s just in the median. There isn’t even anyone milling around, just the cars. Sitting there. Doing nothing.
As soon as we draw even with the scene, traffic clears and within seconds we’re all right back up to 70 or so mph.
Even worse was the other side of the highway (also 3 lanes). I had about 4 miles to my exit and the other sides traffic was backed up past that by the time I got there! WTF?
What is so goddamned interesting about a cop in the median that people simply must stare and why the hell do people have to slow down so fuckin’ much to do it?
The worst is when you’re in a carfull of guys all badmouthing the rubberneckers, cussing them out, and then telling the driver to slow down when they themselves pass, and taking their sweet time to get back up to speed.
Several years ago, Mr. Scarlett and I were on a divided highway approaching an overpass when an ambulance coming down the opposite on-ramp somehow got cut off and flipped over several times before coming to rest in the median right next to our car. We pulled onto the shoulder and Mr. Scarlett ran over to help while I stayed with the car. The police showed up and began diverting traffic to the off-ramps. Naturally this, combined with the usual rubbernecking, slowed traffic considerably. As I stood on the shoulder watching, a car rolled by and a woman called to me, “What happened?”
Yeah, you moron, like I’m gonna give you the whole play-by-play description as you’re rolling past me in traffic. I shouted back, “Accident!” Musta got manure for her brains.
[very loud sarcastic Homer voice]
Oh look, an accident on the side of the road! Involving people that you don’t know! Why don’t you slow down and [Dennis Leary]RUBBERNECK? You assholes! Shove your head up your tailpipe and stop wasting my atmosphere!
I think next time I’m slowed by rubberneckers I need to roll down the windows and start shouting this over and over.
That’s the nice thing about Colorado, if there’s an accident you will know before the radio tells you because the bastards slow down to a stop-and-go about 10 miles before the fucking accident…
Gotta love them rubber neckers, at least I get to hear ten classic rock songs in the first mile of the slow down.
I guess my years of 'Net-chat has left me in a state where I automatically correct slight spelling errors like that. It’s a pity, really… I don’t get to make fun of the improperly used "your"s, "you’re"s, and "yore"s.
And Byz… what you call the “train wreak (wreck) syndrome” I call the “Britney Spears syndrome”.
SPOOFE Bo Diddly – thank you for trying to help me in my moment of shame… I’m so disgraced at this moment that I can’t even think; the pain is too great. But thanks anyway…
Not to turn this into a GQ topic or anything (well, OK, I guess I am turning it into a GQ topic), but I thought that most of these accident-related slowdowns are a continuing effect of the original accident. For example: some idiot accidentally swerves into the median; the drivers behind think “Oh shit” and slam on the binders. Drivers behind them do the same, and the domino effect takes hold. Sometimes I’ve been caught in backups after the original accident has cleared.
This idea is reinforced by the fact that I rarely, if ever, see people slowing to rubberneck at accidents on lightly traveled roads.
So: Are these backups really primarily caused by drivers slowing down to take a look? Or are the looking because they’re forced to slow down anyway?
I think it’s a combination of both factors, the rubbernecking and the “domino effect.” As you said, the first person slows down, the next slows a little more, and next thing you know, it’s a huge backup. Then, after being stuck in that traffic jam, everybody just has to take a look because they waited so long to see it, after all. I do look, but I make it a quick one while I’m accelerating back up to speed.
What really chaps my ass is the people who slow down because a cop has someone pulled over on the shoulder. Uh, guys? He’s BUSY! He’s not going to give you a ticket! Keep moving!
Yeah, I don’t get it either. But it doesn’t just occur when there’s an accident. Picture this scenario:
Traffic is sailing along at the posted speed limit. A cop has someone pulled over. He’s standing at the driver’s window, writing out a ticket. All of sudden, all the other drivers on the road start slamming on their brakes, dropping their speed 10 or 15 mph below the posted speed limit.
What are these people thinking? That the cop, who has his back to the traffic, no radar gun in hand (he’s writing out a ticket for Pete’s sake!), will somehow magically sense the speed of the other cars on the road and stop what he’s doing, hop in his car and chase them down?
“Look, Marge! There’s a cop writing a ticket! I better slow down to 45 mph so he doesn’t get me too!”
“But honey, you we’re already going the speed limit.”
“What if my speedometer is wrong, and his magical speed sensing powers detect that I’m actually going 57 instead of 55?”
: the entire three lanes of traffic comes to a standstill. We do the accordian shuffle, 5-10-15-0 mph, for about a mile-and-a-half and then, sure enough, there is a cop with a car in the median.
