Dear Cecil,
I would like to respond to your latest “The Straight Dope” on Female Ejaculation in your October 25, 2002 issue of The Reader:
Roses to you for writing about female ejaculation, the G spot and the latest research on these issues (which is pathetic). Our current knowledge of female sexual response is woefully inadequate for any woman or couple who desire quality and satisfying sex. Due to this dearth of knowledge of female sexuality and sexual response, I took my own sexual training and development into my own hands. Because of this, I have overcome challenges in my sex life over a period of 25 years that otherwise, I think, would have killed my sexuality completely. I would like to speak to my most recent challenge:
As a post menopausal woman in my forties, I came upon three difficult sexual challenges: vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, and a lover who disliked going down on a woman–which was the only way I could have an orgasm at the time. The literature I read about vaginal dryness and painful intercourse recommended lubricants, hormones, and frequent sex. --the belief being that if you have sex regularly, your body will make lubricant more predictably. Or something like that. I found that sex without lube, and even with it sometimes, was like having sex with a knife. Not good unless you’re into S&M. So I made sure I had plenty of Astroglide on hand at all times.
Alas, though, my lover did not like cunnilingus. So what to do? Dump him because he couldn’t give me an orgasm? NO! I decided to train my body to have an orgasm in other ways. So I asked my lover to try to find my G-Spot and play around with it and see what happened. Well, by stimulating my G-spot with his fingers, I was able to come very nicely and-surprise!-- almost always experienced ejaculation. Since I’ve been ejaculating during sex, I have retired my bottle of Astro Glide. This post menopausal woman has no problem with vaginal dryness or painful intercourse anymore. None! And I thought I had to put with pain and dryness the rest of my life - ha!
Yes, Virginia, there is a G Spot. I don’t care what the scientists or xrays say. To find it, you or your partner merely insert the index and third fingers into the vaginal opening and make a “come here” motion with the fingers, as if to tickle the inside of the pubic bone. As the area become stimulated, it will feel spongy to the touch. Continual stimulation of this area can result in ejaculation: Here’s the catch: You must be highly stimulated and very relaxed. Try stimulating other erogenous zones of the body at the same time. Experiment! When you ejaculate, it will feel like you are urinating at first. There will be copious fluid (I mean a lot squirting from the urethra. Use towels!) I can’t believe the scientists wonder what female ejaculate is for. Seems obvious. I could be wrong, but my theory is: extreme mondo lubrication. Motion lotion, baby.
In closing, I urge women to find a caring spouse or partner and make exploring and expanding your sexual response a priority in your sex lives. You both will be richly rewarded.