Yes, your child is perfect.

The BBQ Pit
1

We don’t have close neighbors, but this one is the closest we’ve got and she’s a raving bitch, her daughter is a rotten little brat and she’s driving me nuts !

When they first moved here, I thought it was nice that there would be another little girl in the area. I stopped by and introduced myself and asked if maybe we could arrange a playdate sometime. She told me no, she didn’t have any time that she could waste on that. At that point, I should have known I was in for trouble.

Now,years later, she’s rubbed off on her daughter and for the past two years all the kid does is start trouble. When the brat is at my house, she tells my daughter what to do, what to play with and how to play. The brat refused to take turns, saying that since she was a guest, she should be able to do what she wants. However when my daughter was at her house she was told that since it’s the other girl’s house the brat gets to make all the rules. My little girl is very sweet natured and gets along with everyone, she just wanted to be friends.

The kids all ride the bus together. The brat doesn’t get along with anyone, no body wants to sit with her. For a while, my daughter was sitting with her, but my daughter asked to be moved becasue one day, my girl wasn’t feeling well and the brat was demanding that she play with her. When my daughter said no, the brat got in her face and screamed at her for it.

The seats were moved and my son got the privledge of sitting with her. I guess that since he’s older and a boy, maybe the driver thought she wouldn’t bother him. Wrong !

First, she demanded to sit near the window. Fine, my son had no problem with that. Then the brat started spitting on the window every day and drawing pictures with her saliva. Disgusting! My son just looked the other way and tried to ignore her. The brat then kept demending that my son turn around and look at her “creation”. He didn’t. So she kicked him. He told her to stop and she didn’t.

She’s been kicking him every day for weeks now. He’s been telling her to stop, she doesn’t. Other kids have seen it and told her to stop, she still won’t. My son tried to report this to the principal, but was told that there was nothing they could do since the girl is in a different school. Finally, not knowing what to do, my son asked me to talk with her mother.

I’ve been out there every day looking for her mom, but the mom never comes out to the bus stop. So, yesterday I just went to the brat and told her to please stop kicking my son. She shook her head saying that she wasn’t doing it. I told her that a number of people have seen her kicking and she can’t do this anymore. When the bus came, she told my son that she was telling her mother that I yelled at her. Which I didn’t, I just talked to her.

This morning, the mother came to the bus stop. I said “Good to see you.” She ripped into me about yelling at her daughter. I told her that I didn’t yell at her daughter, but I did tell her to stop kicking. She claims that her perfect little troll is not kicking anyone and the other kids are lying because they are my friends. She claims that my son is the one starting trouble.

I said that I hadn’t heard that, but kids aren’t perfect and I asked what she had heard. Accoring to the brat, my son is shoving her.

Here’s the reality. On certian days my son has to bring his trombone to school, it’s against the rules for anything to be in the aisle so he has to squish it in the seat with him. This is the shoving the bitch is refering to.

I expained it to her and her response is that my son has no business bringing the insturment to school, if it’s going to bother her daughter. What ?!? He’s in the band ! What the fuck is he supposed to do ?

I know that my kids aren’t perfect little saints and they have had their share of problems. Once I am aware of them, I deal with them. But, what the fuck makes her think that her daughter is so wonderful all the time ? For heaven’s sake, kids do dumb things, that’s just the way it is !

I wish these people would move.

2

Ayyiyi! Talk about a no-win situation!

What a strange woman. Anybody want to take bets on how long it’ll be before she’s doing the talk show circuit, complaining about her rotten teenager?

Sympathies to you!!

3

Ask the bus driver to move your son to a different seat, quit inviting HellChild to your house, and don’t interact with HellMom at all if you can help it.

4

:eek:

I had a similar ‘playmate’ when I was a wee Boodie in the early 70s!

She was the one who would ring up every Saturday morning and ask if her parents could bring her over to play – before you could get a word in edgewise, she’d say, ‘Ok, cool, thanks, byeeeee!’ and her parents would bring her over.

One day when we were playing outside (my mum didn’t like her in the house because she was loud and deliberately rough on objects in the house, see below), I stumbled and fell into a wasps’ nest, and was stung repeatedly. Mum got me sorted out, but I had a raging headache (one got me on the temple) and ached; naturally mum said, ‘Jeanie, ring your parents so they can get you.’

Oh, Jeanie couldn’t do that! Cos her parents were out and about on a day trip til the late hours – you see, as we learnt that day, and had confirmed by the parents of the other kiddies in our circle of friends, Jeanie’s parents used all the little friends’ parents as free babyminders every weekend, but without saying where they were going, leaving a phone number, &c. My mum was livid, and Jeanie was not allowed to come to my house anymore.

As for the destruction: Jeanie came from a rather affluent, refined family,and she had a lot more sophistication, I guess you would say, than many of us (mostly from travelling a lot with her parents.) But she could be like a wild animal – one of our friends had a beautiful piano, and she was accomplished on it. Jeanie took lessons, but never practiced, and the minute she came to this girl’s house, made a beeline for this piano, and would just literally pound and bang on it; eventually she broke the highest and lowest keys from incessant hard playing of those two notes.

I remember playing chess with her once on her parents’ antique ebony and ivory chess set, and when Jeanie captured one of my men, would pick it up and gleefully hurl it against the wall.

She wasn’t daft, was amongst the top of the class, and would frequently be cast in the top roles in school plays; she was actually extremely intelligent. Sometimes I wonder if much of her problem was being a late baby (her siblings were 19 and 22 years older) – her parents either didn’t pay much attention to her, or spoilt her rotten, and they also expected her to behave exactly as her adult siblings. On the other hand, I’m a late baby, and I would have never dreamed to behave like that at friends’ houses.

Sorry for the long anecdote – but that statement about ‘I’m the guest, so you have to let me do what I want!’ and ‘I’m the host, so you have to let me do what I want!’ – I though, Oh, crikey, it’s Jeanie!!

5

My sympathies. A couple suggestions…

  1. You should have probably knocked on the mom’s door before talking to the child. Talking to the kid first gave her the opportunity to bitch to her mom first before you had an opportunity to speak to the mom. Odds are she probably made up this shoving business to cover her own ass. I guess it’s too late, but if you have future issues, I’d recommend going right to the mom.

  2. Demand that your son’s seat be switched on the grounds that this kid is spitting all over the place and creating a health hazard. The kicking thing is now a “he said, she said” thing, and school officials will likely respond quicker if you reference the spitting and use the words “health hazard” in your language.

Situations like this piss me off to no end. Often, parents can’t ever seem to come to grips with the idea that their kids aren’t perfect little angels and may be causing trouble.

6

Why is this kid coming to your house?

7

The woman is a moron.

Look at the bright side – maybe someday her extreme stupidity will make her forget to breathe and she’ll suffocate.

8

Well, now she is no longer invited to our house. Originally she was welcomed because she is the only little girl around here.

9

Man, back in the day they let us pick our own seats when we got on the bus. Why can’t they leave the hellion all alone?

10

And while I was the kid who dreaded getting on the bus and finding a seat ('cause I was a nerd, not 'cause I was a brat) I do think that in the long run the social pressure of the other kids could do a lot to cure this if they weren’t so interferred with. How long could Little Miss Perfect get away with her kicking if no one else lets her sit with them? Her spit pictures could be a thing of the past if no one lets her in near a window seat. She’ll get a lot less bossy at play dates if the play dates aren’t so structured, and the other kids could just leave when she gets annoying.

I’m a great proponent of “kids need to learn to work it out among themselves” (barring injury or abuse, of course) and come to adults for peacekeeping only as a last resort. But I appear to be in the minority. What I mostly see nowadays is people of all ages running to authority rather than trying to work things out on an interpersonal level. The bitch in the next cubicle eating tuna fish again? Complain to HR about the smell. Don’t, oh I don’t know, ask her if she wouldn’t mind eating in the lunchroom or anything. We’re so terrified of one another, we can’t ask for anything directly anymore - there has to be an authority buffer.

That being said, yeah. the girl’s a Grade A Bitch. Seems like she comes by it honestly, though.

11

There was a girl who was in a lot of my classes in gradeschool who was the same way - a nasty little bully. Her mother always denied that her sweet little girl could ever harm a fly, also. Don’t know what became of her. She could be lying in a puddle of cold piss for all I care.

As for the claim that the principal can’t do anything b/c the girl’s at a different school - bullshit. There’s always something that can be done. There’s other students that have witnessed the brat’s behaviour, so she can’t lie her way out. Raise a stink about it.

12

WhyNot, I completely agree. I know that there’s a lot of assigned seating and structured play to try to avoid bullying and increase tolerance, but there must be some kind of balance so that they can learn how to work some things out on their own, too.

13

The person to correct the bus seating problem would be the bus driver.

Is your son old enough to request a changed seat himself? If so, I’d encourage him to do it. It would teach him a great deal about taking charge of his own problems rather than complaining to mom and then sitting back and letting her fix everything. Or even better, throwing Mom some bait and watching her rise up and go bonkers about some horrid creature. What (from a kid’s perspective) could be more fun than that?

You sound a tad over invested as it appears as if you hate the brat/troll more than your kids. Your daughter, after all, is willing to play with her. Could it be that this is not because your daughter is a perfect little angel in every way with the patience of a saint and an understanding of human nature way beyond her years, but because the brat/troll isn’t all that horrible.

I’ve raised 3 kids without losing my sanity and with them becoming decent human beings by never forgetting my 2 rules:

Never, ever take action or make assumptions based on heresay. If my own kids complain about something somebody else did to them, I sympathize but take it with a grain of salt. If it was something that needed action, I’d do some investigating without making any judgements.
When my kids complain about horrible teachers, I just tell them that this is preparing them to deal with horrible bosses later in life. As a result, they all deal with horrible teachers best they can and move on. Lots of their friends (and their parents) spend untold hours of grief trying to change the teacher or trying to make the school “do something” about them.

Looking doesn’t count. If one of my kids got upset because another one “was looking at her or him”, I just told them looks don’t count, get back to me when physical contact occurs. {Usually this happens when they are strapped into car seats so hitting isn’t possible}.