The streets ran red with kool-Aid.
Ate too much; time for Pepto.
Night fell. The window shattered.
It began when the world ended.
Kidnapped the wrong child. Again. Fuck.
“Revenge: best served cold?” Yes, indeed.
Hurn. Comedian dead. Some big plan?
She left. I lit a cigarette.
Buy my woodchipper. Who’ll know?
Even the water tasted like ash.
“Your ship, sir” said the human.
Pardon me, are you still intact?
First and foremost, wear leather gloves.
She was well and truly fucked.
The chicken stench eventually overpowered her.
Writhing into consciousness, the children fled.
“Oh, bother!” was his last understatement.
Automatic trunk release? That was me.
His eyes turned cobalt when aroused.
Snowplows flung bodies into barren fields.
Scheming, he eyed his daughter speculatively.
We were born three minutes apart.
Emotions always got the best of him.
God uses his beloved with impunity.
Murder improvised from the original recipe.
You’re really good at this.
The heat from the moon burned.
Alice parts fell down the rabbithole.
Tears like icicles stabbed his heart.
“Swell!” he said…and she did.
Humanity’s last words were “Creamed corn?”
Bravo! ROFL. This is worthy of Douglas Adams.
It won’t come off. My Fingers!
Ravaged Mothers. Snakes on a plane.
The bowling ball stopped. She wept.
Our souls taken by flying monkeys.
The flashlight disappeared when he sat.
Look, lights on the uninhabited island!
Chemical rain dissolved mankind’s last footprint.
The Nazis approach – ready the squirrel.
I am the one you created.
George had the last laugh, mirthlessly.
‘Alabama Shakes’ summoned alcoholic parent flashbacks.
Awoke in a tub, minus kidney.
Took the gun, left the canoli.
With Stars, Russell peed on Hugo.
Whoever you are, get the light.