I’m a 49-year-old woman. The men whose ads I read are between 44 and 57.
Is is wrong for me to be put off when they say they’re looking for a “girl” (or even, god help me, a “gal”)? Am I getting on my feminist high horse for no good reason when I automatically click “next”?
I don’t think usage of the word, “girl” smacks so much of anti-feminism (is there a word for that? there should be) as it does of just poor use of language.
I know that I often have problems determining what word to use to describe someone of the opposite gender. Is a female in her mid-20s a “lady” or a “woman”? Some that I’ve talked to feel those words are more appropriate for someone older than them, perhaps mid-30s and above. But she’s not a “girl” either (though I have a couple of female friends around 29 or 30 who still like to refer to themselves as such). “Gal” is certainly a possibility, but then again, it’s probably not all that appropriate past a certain age, though I think that age varies from woman to woman. It’s probably also a little too casual and familiar for someone you don’t even know. “Female” is always accurate, but it has always struck me as rather clinical in nature.
Of course, any of them are better than “cupcake”, “broad”, “doll”, “minx”, “filly”, or “tomato”.
If anything, maybe cut the fellow some slack to begin with, but watch for other signs that determine that he is not your type. If the rest of the profile reads ok, then maybe you can just ignore the poor word choice. If there’s other indications that he really is looking for a “girl” - perhaps as a match to his own lack of maturity - then at that point you’re probably ready to just hit “next”.
I always kinda liked “tomato”…
Well you know me Twicks, so you know I’d probably write them back with a 20 page dissertation on sexism. 
Nah, give them the push…
I work in a doctor’s office, where the staff is all women. We are most often referred to as “the girls”, even though we range in age from 19 to 55. This has always bothered me- the equivalent term for men would be “boys”, but you never hear that, do you?
One day a few weeks ago, one of our (male) doctors said to a patient, “and the women at the front desk will help you with that”— I was shocked, because you very rarely hear us referred to as anything but “girls”.
“Lady” sounds old-fashioned, “gal” seems countrified, and of course “broad” and the like are offensive.
“Woman” seems perfect to me- what’s wrong with that?
Yes, you are wrong.
For better or worse, the bloody battle over the word “girl” is long over and the anti-“girl” forces have been soundly defeated.
And don’t blame seemingly sexist men as much as the numerous defectors among the female ranks. Whether you want to admit it or not, many woman well past the age of Barbie Dolls, senior proms and sorority pranks aspire to be thought of as “girls.”
I don’t think this criterion is one that will be terribly useful.
Sorry, I’m not sure what this means.
Um… yes. Yes you would.
The boys, the guys, the fellas, the gang. They all work.
I don’t know, we’ll get the boys in the backroom on to it.
Oh, OK. I meant that I just don’t think that the use of “gal” or “girl” is a reliable indicator of whether or not someone is a keeper.
I’m not even talking about “keeper” or not – I’m talking about whether or not I want to finish reading his ad, if he says something like “I’m looking for a girl who… {whatever}.” Why can’t he just say “I’m looking for someone who…”?
Ack. It’s not easy being an editor and reading these effin’ ads. I try not to get too picky and critical, but jeez freakin’ louise… [insert standard anti-online-dating rant here].
Now there’s a criterion I can believe in! Not taking enough care to write an ad with proper spelling and grammar – bad sign!
Good ol’ boys? I’ve heard it used by wives on TV when their husbands are playing cards or bowling or drinking or whatever. I think it was on the Flintstones a lot too, in reference to Fred and Barney.
It wouldn’t bother me if someone used the term “Girl”. I personally think it seems more awkward when someone describes their match with gender neutral terms like “someone” - that is, if they’re NOT in fact bisexual.