Unfortunate wording in personal ads

Sometimes I wish I could play editor and inform some of these guys that what they just typed into their profile is so badly worded that it gives the wrong impression, though maybe it’s just my inner English teacher coming out.

Today’s example: “I am a 59 year old male who has been widowed for 19 years, by choice.”

Honey, that makes you a murderer, and that’s a deal-breaker for me, sorry.

In his defense, he goes on to say that he raised his kids after his wife’s death, and now that they are grown and gone, it’s time for him. So I believe that what he meant in that opening line is that he chose not to remarry, though given the opportunity, until the kids were adults. But I like my murderer theory better.

What poorly-worded lines have given you a double-take in an ad?

Wat back when, I placed a personal ad that stated, among many other things, that I was interested in “sf/fantasy”. Myy friends pointed out that this was a mistake, since:

1.) It made me look like a serious geek

2.) It would be mistaken by a lot of people for “sm/fantasy”, which would make me look too weird for the dating scene.

hee. careless misspellings. ‘laides’ has always been one of my favorites
and you know how they also say one picture is worth a thousand words?
LOVE the photos that have the gentlemen posing for his shot with not only his hat on but with his shades firmly in place.
now *there’s * a look guaranteed to rack in the winks and personal messages from the laides, no? :rolleyes:

The guy who said “Will date for food” He sounds like a gigolo.

I was guilty of a poorly-worded classified once.

When I was a teenager, my friend’s family abandoned their dog. It’s a long, sad story and not relevant here, but the point is, I rescued the dog from the Humane Society and took care of it, brought it to the vet to get its shots, etc etc. However, my family already had two dogs and we couldn’t afford another. So it was up to me to find Mugsy a new home.

The good news is, I found her a great home. My choice of words, however, left something to be desired:

“FREE TO GOOD HOME: Sweet and gentle dog, yellow-lab mix, approx. 10 years old. All shots up-to-date and clean bill of health. Abandoned by family and rescued by a family already full with dogs. Good with children and other animals.”

I’m sure people understood what I meant, and most probably didn’t even think twice about it, but after re-reading my entry in the paper, my mother started laughing and clued me in to what it sounded like.

What’s wrong with being a serious geek? I like serious geeks! Us geeky girls reproduce much better with guys from our own species!

This is true, but Geek Girls are hard to find i the Wild. I eventually met Pepper Mill at a Con (which is where I should have been looking al along). Actual dialog from this past weekend:

CalMeacham: (Quoting Joel pre-MST3K, quoting a 1960s commercial for the game "Mystery Date?) Uh, oh, you got the “nerd”

Pepper Mill: Some of us like nerds!

I’m not seeing any problem with the wording here at all. :smiley:

I love those photos, too! No way to tell what the guy looks like, and you wonder if he’s in a Witness Protection Program.

FWIW, I had to reread that about ten times before I got it. I still think the wording is acceptable.

I don’t see anything inaccurate about this statement, however you choose to interpret it. :wink:

:smiley: ROTF!! wish i’d thought to say that the first time!

It’s not as bad as misspelling “ladies” as “laddies”. That can *really *mess up a date.

The classic dog advert runs something like: “Good home wanted for Alsatian. Will eat anything. Loves children.”

This thread made me think of one of my favourite jokes about the old man who goes into a newspaper office and asks to place a death notice, as his wife has just died. The clerk gives him the form and tells him the charge is $1 per word. The man shuffles off to a counter and returns seconds later with the completed form, which reads: ‘Mabel is dead.’ “Are you sure that’s all you want to write?” the clerk asks. “Well, I only have $3,” replies the old man. His face looks so sad that the clerk takes pity on him. “I tell you what,” he says, “you can have three more words for no extra charge.” The old man goes away again, and a few moments later returns to the desk once more, puts down his form and the $3, and leaves. The clerk reads the new notice: ‘Mabel is dead. Chevy for sale.’

Long before I met my fiancee, I was browsing an online dating forum. Some forums allow you to have a tagline with your photo. A woman’s tagline was: “Cease the day!”

I opened the profile thinking it was perhaps some kind of attempt at irony, but it appeared not to have been deliberate.

So she’ll only meet for dates after dark?

I know this doesn’t count as a personal ad, but a business I went to today had a sign with so many errors on it that it was all I could do to not pull out a pen and start making corrections. They spelled it buisness, by the way. But the worst one I’ve been repeating all day and laughing to myself…Have a Wounderful Holiday. Would be so much more appropriate in a hospital emergency room…

[Gaudere’s nitpick]You should probably remind your inner English teacher that “poorly worded” does not require a hyphen.[/Gaudere’s nitpick]

Thank you for the correction! And while you’re in the mood, I got into an slight disagreement with a customer because I wanted to put a comma in the phrase, “We love you very much, Mom!” was I right?

And I know there should have been a capital W on Was.