Well, if I can’t pick SkipMagic, I would pick:
Homebrew–cuz he can cook and has great fashion sense
CrankyAsAnOldMan–because she was the first person here to compliment me (hey, I’m easy like that)
Scout1222–because I secretly wonder if she and I are the same person
Daniel Withrow–because he’s just so damn reasonable, or
Baker–because I’ve met her, and not only does she make great dessert, she also makes great company. 
“That’d be the why, Poly.”
Since I haven’t had a chance to officially attack him yet, I’m laying claim to Homebrew. Especially since auntie em says he can cook too. 
Oh, for sure Dynosaur.
Possibly RickJay.
lieu, I do love you, and I know you’re be grand about the yardwork, but I hate cleaning bathrooms even under the best of circumstances.
I’m gonna guess Poly’s choice would be cjhoworth.
Unless he’s secretly got the hots for me, of course. 
And RT wins the Insight-into-Poly Award – no money, but a lot of respect for his ability to “read” me – not that he didn’t have that already, of course. She’s like the perfect match for me in almost all conceivable criteria.
Though the Fenris comment got me to hypothesizing, and if I did “go gay” on this, my choice would be Hamish – he’s cute as a button (why are buttons considered cute :puzzled: ), empathy, a fun personality, and much of our thinking already meshes quite well.
But I want to know who you’d pick, RT, and also who Copaesthetic, Diogenes the Cynic, and Eve would choose.
Tell me, were there any Dopers surprised by matt_mcl and Auntie Em’s choices?
RT beat me to it by a half hour. C’mon, Poly, anyone who’s seen the way y’all two interact on this board knows CJ would marry you in a New York minnit if not for that whole “Mrs. Polycarp” position already being filled.(anyone want to try and make a sex joke about that one? I didn’t think so!)
If I’m not allowed my bunny, and we’re choosing from the Doper Wimmin (for now) Coalition of the Willing (i.e. they’re not gonna say no)…then probably Nocturne.
Either that or I’d just go for the ultimate trifecta and have hot 3-way sex with that_darn_cat and moi (interesting pun there;)).
Decisions, decisions…
Mutually agreeable.
Cecil.
I mean, isn’t it obvious why?
Oh, we were going for an element of surprise? Fine, then I choose moc.liamtoh@rorrim.
He strikes me as a very tender lover.
[hijack]Actually, lel and I just started open enrollment for a doper harem yesterday. There’s going to be strip bingo on Tuesdays and Sexy Scrabble on Saturdays. Check it out! [/hijack]
Hmmmm…assuming I couldn’t pick Copaesthetic to tie the knot with all over again, I’d need someone equally as witty and kind, with a touch of ego and a really goofy laugh. Oh, and they’d have to smell nice and be willing to buy me a tank someday. I’d take anyone that meets those standards.
I think maybe I would pick RT simply because of the nice compliment he gave me in the weight loss thread. Oh and he’s nice and funnie!
Why yes I am a compliment whore, thank you for asking.
If not RT then definitely hampster because I have a thing for accents (even if it is Canadian!).
Marry you? Marry you?
Please. I just want you all for the super hot monkey sex.
I’m not going to ruin it by buying any of you no stinkin’ ring.
OMG I can’t believe I got first dibs on Scylla!
It probably wouldn’t work out, though. I’d be too jealous of him alladatime wif his cool writin’ ‘n’ stuff.
Plus we wouldn’t be able to run together because he’s too fast.
See? We’re already on the rocks.
He’s just so smart and sexy… It’s a fantasy and I’m not proud.
auntie em, I’ve wondered the same thing about me and scout1222. What do you and I have in common?
I’d marry herownself.
The fact that I’m married to her currently should give you a clue as to why.
There’s one name springs to mind, but I’m not actually allowed to say…
It’s alright Steve, I don’t mind
I have a list, but not wanting to send anyone screaming into the night, I won’t tell anyone. So there 
Hmm, well, let’s see . . .
Do you eat prunes?
Hate group sushi?
Avidly avoid the use of Instead feminine hygiene cups?
Have a bunch of domineering, lard-slurping nutbuckets for a family?
Do you have Van Halen’s Hot For Teacher running on endless loop through your head right now?
I would marry Steve Wright because reading something he wrote about pants made me laugh so hard I do believe I strained something. Other than that I don’t really know him, but a rockin’ sense of humour is a Very Good Thing.