Well, if a woman is wearing pants of sufficient tightness, that v-shaped outline can be seen. That might be what crotch-starers are looking at.
As for myself, I’m so shocked to be stared at at all that I don’t have the presence of mind to be offended most of the time.
You’re taking a much bigger risk with the crotch staring. Most women can shake off a little boob ogling, but crotch staring would put you out of the running as too creepy to date, in my opinion.
I used to work at this office in DC and a big bunch of us would go have lunch in the park with all the other drones. There was this creepy old guy who worked the park on his lunch hour trying to look up women’s skirts. In reading this thread, I just picture that guy trolling the park.
I mean, how can you not know that staring at people’s crotches isn’t appropriate? It’s her crotch and your staring at it, do you see the rest of society staring at crotches all day? No? Well then, I guess it’s just not done.
I got one of these once.
It was about 4:30a.m., during a particularly difficult to remain awake and alert shift back in my USAF days. I was standing up (harder to fall asleep) and staring off into space when the voice cut through my haze. To the ladies credit, she noticed that after she spoke my eyes focused on the source of the noise, and that I wasn’t staring at her, just in a direction with glazy eyes. She acknowledged her error without quite apologizing for the accusation.
“Stop staring at my _____” is also an excellent social control tactic for people who will not or cannot look you in the eye. Guaranteed to put them on the defensive, and they’ll probably be unprepared.
Staring is rude.
There’s a world of difference between the occasional quick glance or appreciative once-over and full-on staring.
However, that being said, I’m much, much more likely to discount the occasional breasteses-staring than crotch staring. Breasts are at least in the same general region as my face (the portion of my anatomy you should be making eye contact with, if we’re being strictly polite), plus my breasts in particular wiggle and jiggle and generally move about occasionally. We all know that if something is moving, it attracts the eye. Therefore, it doesn’t creep me out overly if someone is staring. Of course, if they can’t seem to drag their eyes off my breasteseses to my face, I also assume they’re an asshole, so there you have it.
Butt-staring doesn’t disturb me at all simply because if I’m in a position where you’re staring at my ass, then chances are quite bad I can’t see you to tell you’re staring. Ignorance and bliss and all that.
Crotch staring is just creepy. The few times I’ve seen someone staring at my crotch, I was thorougly creeped out. Also paranoid in the “Do I have camel-toe? No? Omg did my period start early and I’ve stained?!? Is there a live anmial in my lap?!?! Food spilled?!? Did I lean up against wet paint?” sort of way. After answering those questions negatively, I automatically assumed the person so staring was a creepy pervert and moved away at speed. On the occasions when it was after sundown, I sought light, company and/or a policeman.
Suffice to say, it never implies (at least to me) gentlemanly interest and/or appreciation of my form or even imply that the gentleman in question finds me sexy or desireable in the same way a butt or breasts staring would (if not in the most gracious possible way). I’m going to assume that either I’ve committed a fashion faux pas, and therefore be uncomfortable or that you’re a dangerous pervert and be motivated to get as far from you as possible. Neither conducive to further interpersonal relations 
As my daddy told me many years ago when he was teaching me how to play cards, “If you hold your hand where I can see it, I’m gonna look.”
Mmkay… cleanup of impressions given may be in order here (although it’s always quite possible that I’ll just kind of dig myself in deeper, isn’t it?)…
WHEN, most often: Walking, or standing in an area where folks are walking past me.
DISTANCE: from 50+ yards/meters off to about when you get close enough that you can see eyes pretty good. If I can see her eyes well enough to see where she’s looking, she can probaby reciprocate. I don’t want to [del]get caught[/del] creep anyone out or anything, you know?
STARE vs GLANCE: I’m not in the habit of giving a continuous stare at anyone, not in the habit of giving a continuous stare at anyone who is cute and female, and not in the habit of giving a continuous state at anyone who is cute and female and wearing jeans that are sufficiently tight as to produce … uhh, sorry, where was I? Yeah, it’s not like I give myself permission or internal encouragement, it’s just that it kinda happens. People (both male and female, and in this very thread) seem to understand how that can happen with regards to breasts. For me, I might not even notice if you have breasts, but I have a similar reaction to what Telperien describes as
and various other permutations in conjunction with hip-curve and curve of upper thigh and so forth.
Generally, my behavior would be considered “quick glances at people who aren’t looking back at me”, but I already know that’s not likely to bother anyone. My OP was framed around those occasions where the quick glance gets kinda stuck and the brain gets kinda unstuck. (Let me tell you, the jeans fashions of the last decade or so have been spectacularly nice, a visual smorgasbord for anyone wired (weird?) like me). Believe me, it’s not that I don’t know that I should confine my visual noshing to brief glances. I just wonder about those times when. Wondering how likely my glance-that-got-stuck is to get noticed, and, if noticed, resented.
I don’t expect women to dress in shapeless gunnysacks in order to be free of drooling pervs like me staring at them, but tight jeans call attention. I reckon I’d be safer if the view from behind was what did it for me, but it’s the ventral architecture that hooks my eye.
So it sounds like a mixed bag… on the one hand, seems like I might be unlikely to be noticed because it’s not anticipated; on the other hand, sounds like if I do get noticed, I’m going to generate unpleasant feelings 
featherlou:
Date? 
I’m talking about total strangers I see in passing, on subway platforms or sidewalks. They’re gorgeous, but I don’t know them, don’t know anything about them, nor do they know anything about me. I’m not gonna date them, I’m not even going to talk to them.
Well, I suppose I’m not immune to the problem existing with someone like a co-worker, a person whose name I do know, etc. Hmm…yeah, that’s very awkward. You really don’t want to creep out someone who has to deal with you as a colleague & etc. I don’t go staring at them, but I’m still aware of what they look like, and it’s hard to imagine they can’t tell that I find them cute enough for the gears in my brain to strip. Mostly I manage not to walk headlong into support beams or say absolutely stupid things, but I bet I look and act disconcerted and nervous as hell. <sigh>
In a related question, do women hate it when men look at their breast implants?
I really make an effort to maintain eye contact, and I’m a little embarrassed if I’m caught staring at breasts or asses. I look at the eyes so much that some women think I’m flirting when I’m not. I even find myself maintaining eye contact when watching somebody on TV. :smack: Then I realize, “She can’t see you, she’s on television. Go ahead and ogle.”
My shrink is a fine looking woman, there’s no denying that. I’m almost entirely successful in looking at her eyes when I look at her. The other day, though, she wore a blouse with shiny little buttons all across the chest. They’d catch the light, and my eyes would follow the flash. I thought, “Damn, it’s a trap. I look at the glittery buttons, and she thinks I’m looking at her tits.” I’m investing my time and my insurance company’s money in this 55 minutes, and I’m distracted into a stupid little ethical problem. That, and her tits. :rolleyes: