Yogi Bear finally hits rock bottom! Film at 11:PM!!

[Tripler]

Cite, cite. . . CITE!

Aw man, if I had been at this campsite, I would have cracked a can or two with the offending ursine–I would have been gracious enough to share a beer with the guy before he passed out!!

Tripler
This ought to be proof enough that even the wildest elements can be tamed.

[MovieMogul]

They set a trap using as bait some doughnuts, honey and two cans of Rainier Beer.

Known as The Homer Simpson Gambit.

[Ike_Witt]

@ArchiveGuy

Known as The Homer Simpson Gambit.

Yeah, but all they caught was a Kwyjibo.

[KRC]

So the song *God’s Own Drunk * comes to life.

By the way, I remember hearing in the '80’s about a bear which happened upon a cocaine filled backpack dropped in a national forest in Georgia by a smuggler. The bear ate the contents of the backpack. And died.

[Larry_Mudd]

He tried a mass-market Busch beer, but switched to Rainier Beer, a local ale, and stuck with it for his drinking binge.

Priceless.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

Frikkin Bear-Swine!
Wallowing around drunk!
Boozing it up!
Missing working!
Not making his alimony payments!
BLOWING THE RENT MONEY AT THE TRACK!
Oughtta send all them Bears back where they came from!
Damn drunken Bear.

[Slacker]

LOL I love this story. Curse you for posting it first!

Any guesses as to where they’ll relocate him? Sounds like a born college mascot to me.

[Johnny_L.A]

Though I like beer, I don’t drink enough. It’s just not one of those things that I usually pick up at the store. When I do, I like to get what I know is good; like Guinness Stout or Longboard Lager. So I’ve never had Rainier or Busch. After reading the story yesterday I wondered: Is this an endorsement of Rainier? Or do bears prefer bad beer?

Any guesses as to where they’ll relocate him?

Sadly, “A fed bear is a dead bear.” When people feed bears, or when bears learn that food (and, apparently, beer) is available at a certain place, they tend to return to that place. If relocation is unsuccessful, they are often shot.

[Dragwyr]

The hard-drinking bear, estimated to be about two years old, broke into campers’ coolers and, using his claws and teeth to open the cans, swilled down the suds.

Tsk tsk tsk… and he was underage too.

[Exgineer]

I’ve never had Rainier, Johnny, but it’s well nigh impossible to get worse than Busch, unless it’s Utica Club or Nickerbocker. I’m guessing the bear went with the superior choice.

[Hakuna_Matata]

@Exgineer

I’ve never had Rainier, Johnny, but it’s well nigh impossible to get worse than Busch, unless it’s Utica Club or Nickerbocker. I’m guessing the bear went with the superior choice.

Think "coors without taste’ and you have Rainier Beer. Maybe a notch (maybe) above Busch! Too bad he didn’t have one of the local Seattle Microbrew beers there–that truly would have been a happy bear

But now that I think of it–Rainier Beer did have some cool commercials in the 80’s and 90’s–too bad the beer didn’t match the quality of the commercials.

[lieu]

I believe it was Ranier where two night workers at the brewery were having a pissing contest, arcing streams over a light into the beer vat until one’s stream made the light explode and scorched his gonads. T’was the last day I ever wrapped my lips around one… or was that Oly?

[Clothahump]

@Tripler

Cite, cite. . . CITE!

That’s how the camper escaped. When Mr. Ursus came out of the woods, the camper simply set the booze on the ground. He then said, “I bear beer, bear.” and hauled ass.

Oh, wait - this wasn’t the pun thread, was it? And I stole the pun from Spider Robinson anyway…

[Larry_Mudd]

This story presents such a terrible conundrum for punsters:

Is it better to work with bear/beer or bruin/brewin’? Is it too much to use both?

And am I really the first one to reference The Bear Who Let It Alone?

Originally scribbled by James Thurber:

In the woods of the Far West there once lived a brown bear who could take it or let it alone. He would go into a bar where they sold mead, a fermented drink made of honey, and he would have just two drinks. Then he would put some money on the bar and say, “See what the bears in the back room will have,” and he would go home. But finally he took to drinking by himself most of the day. He would reel home at night, kick over the umbrella stand, knock down the bridge lamps, and ram his elbows through the windows. Then he would collapse on the floor and lie there until he went to sleep. His wife was greatly distressed and his children were very frightened.

At length the bear saw the error of his ways and began to reform. In the end he became a famous teetotaler and a persistent temperance lecturer. He would tell everybody that came to his house about the awful effects of drink, and he would boast about how strong and well he had become since he gave up touching the stuff. To demonstrate this, he would stand on his head and on his hands and he would turn cartwheels in the house, kicking over the umbrella stand, knocking down the bridge lamps, and ramming his elbows through the windows. Then he would lie down on the floor, tired by his healthful exercise, and go to sleep. His wife was greatly distressed and his children were very frightened.

Moral: You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.

[vanilla]

Busch?
drunkeness?

The Kerry campaign will stop at NOTHING, will they!!!

[js_africanus]

@ArchiveGuy

Known as The Homer Simpson Gambit.

Book 'em, Lou. One count of Being A Bear.

[MsRobyn]

And, of course, the logical conclusion.

Robin

[drewbert]

One must wonder what’s going through the heads of the advertising execs at Labatt’s.