Yom Kippur is tomorrow

In the spirit on the season, I need to say this: to anyone I have offended or hurt in the past year I am sorry, and sincerely apologize. If further discussion is necessary, please take it private.

And to all members of the tribe on board: Have an easy fast.


Chag sameach *

and welcome back.

`* Happy Holiday

I thought this was an observance for which “happy holiday” was inappropriate.

We’re jewish. We’re not happy unless we have something to complain about. What’s not to be happy about if you can complain about being hungry all day?

Maybe, but my wife’s family has used it. So I thought it was proper. I had to look up the spelling to be honest.

Time to trot out my favorite Yom Kippur joke:

Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year, reaches its climactic moment. The Rabbi, in front of the congregation, throws himself down on hands and knees, an ultimate act of self-abnegation. He cries out to his Creator, “Before You, I am nothing!”

Then the Cantor, moved by this show of piety, also throws himself down next to the Rabbi and calls out to the Lord: “Before You, I am nothing!”

Suddenly Mr. Schwartz, a poor tailor seated near the back, is also so moved, so inspired, so galvanized, that he too throws himself down in the aisle near his seat and yells out, “Before You, I am nothing!”

At this, still kneeling at the front, the Rabbi looks over to the Cantor and says: “So look who thinks he’s ‘nothing’!”

Chag sameach to all. And welcome back, RivkahChaya.

@RivkahChaya, may I say ever so honestly, welcome back? I’ve missed you.

Have a soulful holiday. I echo your sentiments and apologize to anyone I may have offended over the previous year. Nice to see you back. Below is a list of personal grievances with you that I wish to air: