I once had a chat with a group of friends, iff ‘you’ were an entry in a dictionary, what would be ‘your’ definition. ‘My’ definition, as provided by an former lover and still friend
Amethyst: A charming blend of contradictions
I was planning on eBaying my dignity, but what the hell.
Pollo Boyo: (1) The really good friend able to end fledgling relationships with a single compasionate gesture. (2) One who has issues.
Jammers: One who eats lots of olives and houmas, accompanied by red wine.
KCSuze: (n) 1. A North American primate primarily known for its screeching mating call, lovely plumage and retractable fangs. 2. A small, nonagressive mammal who feeds on the essence of cocoa beans and cola nuts. 3. A minor household pest.
Aesiron: (n) Reclusive nocturnal mammal known for its general apathy and laziness.
Miller: One who mills.
RobuSensei: 6 ft. 3 in. Asian guy with a Hispanic last name who used to sing Norwegian songs in an American choir
Goo : (n) Unnaturally happy and unbelievably lucky blob of goo. Is best geographically secluded, as too much contact with society causes frequent brain implosions. Best when sterile 
Priceguy: early 21st century philosopher with a penchant for writing, science, and lesbians.
jr8: (adj.) 1. Nice, in a weird sort of way 2) Weird, in a nice sort of way
Kal: 1. Understated comedic genius. 2. Slighty chubby sex god. 3. Mental disorder caused by lack of breast feeding as an infant.
My name does have a definition, although you won’t find it in the OED. So there. 
Linty Fresh: Of this word, I know not the definition.
you: 1. The one or ones being addressed by the speaker. 2. Used to indicate an individual of an indefinately specified group.
Bippy:
1.) The voice in the desert that cannot be heard.
2.) Annoying itch in the center of the brain.
3.) Hi Opal
IDemandBeer: Devastatingly handsome, charming, witty. Adventurous. Consumes alarming amounts of beer. Tends to exaggerate.
–IDB
DeVena:
aLarge & Lovely, ex. How very DeVena you look today;
also n the first Glorious Priestess in the High Chuch of Sinatra; the best friend you never knew you had
Super Gnat: Mostly harmless.
Tiburon:
adj. - easily flattered, not easily impressed.
Gee and I thought Tiburon meant Korean car with an extraordinarily ugly rear wing!