Arnold Schwarzenegger: “I have not lived my life to be a politician.”
Great line. And it worked!
Unless you seek to actually get elected PotUS on either the Democrat or GOP ticket.
Otherwise you’re the Libertarian (or Reform, or Natural-Law, or Green) Party candidate, running just to make a point of principle… and will face hardly any scrutiny at all since they won’t take you seriously.
Horrible to Very Bad. Had a troubled youth, crimes and drugs. But have been squeaky clean for the last 7 years. The one and only thing that would help me is that I did alot of volunteer work for Project Action after getting straight. I helped raised money, gave time to troubled kids, and never asked for a cent. I would not be able to stand the media. Eventually I would just explode and tell everyone to go F themselves.
I’d hold up well to the scrutiny. My life has been remarkably boring. Legally speaking, I had a fix-it ticket go a while unpaid, but that’s as far as that goes. I’ve had one girlfriend in my life; no bimbos, blow jobs, etc. I had a child out of wedlock but I’m marrying the ahem baby mamma next August.
If it weren’t for my sarcasm and knack for putting my foot in my mouth, the media would get rather bored with me.
Whoops, wrong account. I, harborwolf, would fare well under media scrutiny. Not sure how well Alias would do… :smack:
Get rid of bi-sexuality and you have a good Bush-Cheney slogan.
I’d be toast. Not necessarily because of my distant past (bought a substance in metric units, converted it to American, resold it, an activity on which I have expounded in public, on tape) or my more recent past (wardrobe malfunction, last April, but I don’t think anybody caught this one in any permanent medium), but because I have a certified record of not being able to speak in public for more than four and a half minutes without saying something incredibly stupid. And I can’t stop myself! I can’t even see it coming until it’s out of my mouth!
In other words, I’d have to develop a quick and lasting bout of laryngitis. I do have a pretty nice smile.
Oh, without even getting into my sordid private life, I’d be a terrible candidate. I wouldn’t be able to “stay on message.” I wouldn’t be able to calmly answer the identical inane questions from the local reporters in Buffalo that the reporters in Cleveland asked yesterday and that the ones in Sacramento asked the day before that. Figuratively speaking, Tim Russert would have me for lunch and not even burp. I’d yell and curse enough to make Howard Dean look like my sainted grandmother.
I’m pretty squeaky-clean, embarrassingly so, as a matter of fact.
There are a few issues that could be made into something if a person was highly motivated. Nothing would really stick, of course (because there was no wrong-doing on my part), but all that some people need is to have something to talk about—doesn’t matter that it’s complete BS and that there’s nothing to it.
Oh God, Marijuana, Drunkeness, BDSM, not to mention a host of asinine comments made when I was younger. And my general freaky behavior etc.
I’d never even make it on the ballot
I was a bit of a campus activist in the '70s, and although I’ve nevered bothered to check, I’m 100% certain that the FBI has a big fat file on me.
Also, there are people out there who have pictures of me nekkid. Surely I can’t be the only one?
Cite?
Dated a daily pot smoker, smoked pot, dropped acid, tried ‘ludes (once), pre-marital sex, STD scare, pregnancy scare, been to a swingers’ club (only twice) … but no run-ins with the law and was a fabulous student in high school. Never finished college, but shit happens, ya know?
Nekkid photos? How 'bout … a “home movie”? :eek:
Ha… I think the government would simply screw over any major campaign I ever tried. Ya can’t have an ex rather extremist communist (I was 15, bored, and full of caffeine) that used to have loads of stuff on his webpage that was anti-corporate (that part has still stuck with me) getting into the White House.
That and a nosey reporter might find all those bodies. 
Maybe not, but you’re perfect for Leader of the Official Opposition in Canada.
Conservative Catholic Republican weighing in.
On the plus side. I’ve got no scandals to expose, have never committed a crime, and have generally lived up to my principles pretty well.
I’d STILL be toast. Because, while the media couldn’t find any real dirt on me, they’d have no trouble at all embarrassing the hell out of me. I’ve been a major nerd/dweeb most of my life, and while a muckraker couldn’t find anything immoral that I’ve said or done, he’d have no trouble finding STUPID things I’ve said and done (often in a misguided attempt to be funny or charming).
So, while I have no enemies who could tell the press what a crook or hypocrite I am, I have something just as bad: lots of friends and relatives who’d be eager to
tell hilarious stories of my bad jokes and social faux pas.
For a guy who’s as easily mortified as I am, running for office would be agony!
There were drugs I didn’t inhale, those I injected. While not a pants man of the Clinton order I think one ex-wife, a friend’s ex-wife and a couple of girl friends will have accounts at times ribald, bittersweet and jaw dropplingly misguided. I’ll count the criminal record as a negative too. There are things I’m pretty sure no-one knows about and I’d like to keep it that way.
"In view of competing life priorities I am afraid I must withdraw my nomination as candidate for whatever party will wear me…
I’m pretty sure I have no pictures of you nekkid.
Aside from my ineligibility due to foreignness, my path to the White House would be like playing Microsoft Minesweeper on ‘Expert’ setting.
As long as you’re open and honest about past failings, I don’t think anyone has much to fear. As for the worth of your opinions, that’s for the electorate to decide, not the press.