new Bus Guy rule: all drivers are armed with paintball guns. Any traffic infraction they witness can be instantly punished via the paintball gun. Same goes for the cattle, mmm… students on board.
I build 300’ towers for communications. Any ideas there?
New Bus Guy Rule: Any kid on the bus caught making fun of a kid that’s not as ‘cool’ shall be made to don the broken horn rim glasses and pocket protector on the bus for the remainder of the school year.
I groom dogs for a living. I run the risk of being bitten with every nail I trim. But I also have the benefits of having my clients kiss my face , and the occasional puppy breath.
Good stereo goes in the bus. Any kid that knows any of the 80s rock I play is cool, and can come hang out with me all day while we stop in the middle of freeways and put out the stop signs tying up traffic for hours. Maybe stop by the track, and see what it can do on the 1/4 mile.
I am in the Army. Specifically communications for a Patriot Missle Battalion. Before you ask, no I don’t have access to the big red button to launch anything.
Otanx: You sure you don’t have a brother or sister working here already? I say we re-name all Patriots “Thrillseekers”, strap Rummy to one and give him a quick ride!
New Bus Rule: All buses come equipped with a built in cooler right beside the driver. Gotta have something to steel the nerves what with all those kneebiters and traffic.
I work for a private-not-for-private organization that provides vocational, residential, respite and support services for persons with disabilities. Specifically I am the rules/regs/policies/procedures s.o.b. and get to deal with a lot of personnel issues as well. Go be me!
BUS GUY RULE: African-Americans ride free on Rosa Parks Day (1 DEC) though only in the back of the bus. (Americans love history- I think it’d be a huge success).
REDWING (state Drivers Licenses): Program all state DLs to have an extra field after Name, DoB, Height/Weight, etc.: IQ. It is illegal to sell firearms, alcohol, bumper stickers or fireworks to people under 90.
911 DISPATCHER: Tell callers in need of police or fire assistance "Sorry, we only dispatch people to discuss the social, historical, cultural and economic existence of the events of September 11, 2001. Where would you like one of our resident experts to come and do you have facilities for a projected Power Point demonstration? Uh-huh… well I’d see if I could get the bleeding to stop if I were you. He’s still inside the house? Hmmm… well, I’ll do what I can but I cannot guarantee that he’ll have time to include the Michael Moore rebuttall if he has to get past the alleged assailant.
Also gives you a place to leave the stringer full of brim and catfish so they dont’ get all gross before you get home.
New Motto for the Place: Quit your damned bitching! Helen Keller didn’t get to be internationally famous and revered and inspirational by saying ‘I CAN’T DO IT!’, she got there by saying ‘AH ERX AOAF DJOA J!’.
Hey, be nice or he’ll assign you to drive the bus full of high school cheerleaders to competition. You’ll be tormented by jiggling jail bait all day long.
All kids on the bus who are being bratty will forfiet their lunches, and get dropped off at school. All kids who are being good on the bus will get to take said-retained lunches and spend the day in the park having a piknic.
I’m an Escrow Officer…have a blast (but might I suggest a rule that any money that anyone argues over at the table automatically becomes yours, or anyone who is a jerk automatically has to let you keep their house? ;-))
New Bus Rule: Bus driver gets a bullet proof, sound proof, vomit proof compartment. The rest of the bus is plastic and hose-out-able. Who cares what the kids do - driver has a peaceful haven.
I’m from the government and I’m here to help. Specifically, I’m a mechanical engineer and I study transportation and logistics. Oh yeah, you wish you had my job.