You can ALL lick my balls! Grr...

I have granted permission for the following to lick my balls:

  • pencil-dicks that tailgate
  • wife beaters (someone I know)
  • garlic (it’s the devil incarnate)
  • static fucking electricity (is this God’s idea of a joke? It fucking HURTS!)
  • CDs that skip
  • fucking racists at work

Ahh, that feels better, it’s been one of those days! :cool:

Anyone else got something that could do with licking a pair of testicles? :dubious:

You missed obsessive tongue tickling testicle technicians

Yes I do…

the sub-zero weather can lick my ba-err-ovaries!

G’wan! LICK 'EM!

Ya know ya wanna! :dubious:

You don’t like garlic? Then you don’t want me to lick your balls.

danceswithcats: You mean Karp2381? I haven’t missed him, but he’s currently busy what with so many people licking his balls at the moment.

Lola: Thanks… I think! I have a slightly disturbing mental image in my head now… :eek:

Brutus: You are excused from the ball licking ceremony. Dismissed. :slight_smile:

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, this is why garlic can suck my big hairy pods.

It would probably hurt more on your balls… :wink:

Anyone who dislikes garlic can … eh … find an attractive woman and have her lick my balls!

The thought of Bill Gates licking my balls is enough to send me into a cataleptic fit.

Hospital administrators who think my time is best spent in all-day meetings can lick my, uh, samarm’s balls!

Said HA will then most likely decide to assign me to a project team to develop an action plan to improve the testicle licking experience which is to be presented at the next all-day meeting in a story-board format. Lengthy written report to follow that HA will not read, but will instead expect me to verbally summarize after written report is presented. Weekly update reports will be expected with collected and analyzed data demonstrated in graphical format.

Moldy water can lick my balls…I hate that shit.

Welcome to SDMB, Celeborn.

Your first post was sniff just beautiful.


Thank you LolaCocaCola. I felt that I have stood by long enough to let that go without saying. :cool:

Hello and a deep respectful bow to all on the SDMB.

You’re completely insane! Moldy Water is amazing! Like…his version of “Born Under a Bad Sign” is definitive! And how about his “Hoochie Coochie Ma–”


[Emily Litella]
Never mind.
[/Emily Litella]

You’d better race off to the thread When this Celeb dies I will cry and say Celeborn!

Would volunteering to eat some pussy be the opposite of telling someone to lick my balls? :dubious:

But where do ball lickers get their stamina?

Are they chocolate and salty, 'cus you just might have a few takers…

  • People who don’t use their blinkers

  • Schmucks who don’t tip me

  • My tiny, annoying Napoleon-complex bastard coworker

  • The lady with the Beamer who parks in front of MY building instead of her own, thus stealing my spot, just so she can “watch her car” from her kitchen window

  • The people who keep making all these absurd reality shows


  • The rude and incredibly stupid tourists who use the bathroom, make phone calls, and ask directions without ordering anything from me…



I don’t have balls, but I don’t want them licking any other part of my anatomy…and anyway, cajones can be metaphorical, right?


I don’t tip, it’s a principle thing. I’m like that guy in Resevoir Dogs. Does that mean I’ve got to lick your metaphorical balls? Or have you a better offer? And are you hot? :slight_smile:

(only joking - I do tip really! Before you all pile on me…)

“How would you like to go to the Principal’s office?”
“How would you like to lick my balls?”
“What did you say?!?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, what I meant to say was… ahem… HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO LICK MY BALLS… Mr. Garrison?”