Hospital administrators who think my time is best spent in all-day meetings can lick my, uh, samarm’s balls!
Said HA will then most likely decide to assign me to a project team to develop an action plan to improve the testicle licking experience which is to be presented at the next all-day meeting in a story-board format. Lengthy written report to follow that HA will not read, but will instead expect me to verbally summarize after written report is presented. Weekly update reports will be expected with collected and analyzed data demonstrated in graphical format.
My tiny, annoying Napoleon-complex bastard coworker
The lady with the Beamer who parks in front of MY building instead of her own, thus stealing my spot, just so she can “watch her car” from her kitchen window
The people who keep making all these absurd reality shows
AND
The rude and incredibly stupid tourists who use the bathroom, make phone calls, and ask directions without ordering anything from me…
CAN ALL LICK MY BALLS!
ahem
I don’t have balls, but I don’t want them licking any other part of my anatomy…and anyway, cajones can be metaphorical, right?
I don’t tip, it’s a principle thing. I’m like that guy in Resevoir Dogs. Does that mean I’ve got to lick your metaphorical balls? Or have you a better offer? And are you hot?
(only joking - I do tip really! Before you all pile on me…)
“How would you like to go to the Principal’s office?”
“How would you like to lick my balls?”
“What did you say?!?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, what I meant to say was… ahem… HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO LICK MY BALLS… Mr. Garrison?”