I assume that this thread was at least partially prompted by how when you posted this thread, the first response was
And yes, in that thread at least you are suffering from the curse of knowledge. Perhaps out of a desire to (imperfectly) preserve confidentiality, you toss out shards of knowledge about the identity and gender of the individuals involved that is enough to pique curiosity but not enough to piece together the narrative with any confidence. It’s like trying to put together a puzzle without all the pieces, whereas you have all the pieces and thus see a complete picture.