A week and change into the baseball season, and I got to thinking about the various baseball terms one hears during the game and how the phrase “pitcher’s mound” never struck me as funny before. Well, that just ain’t right. And now I can’t help it - all baseball slang sounds dirty to me. As in:
backdoor slider – An unexpected attack of diarrhea during anal sex.
**bang-bang play **-- Sex twice, then Yahtzee.
**chin music **-- A queef during cunnilingus.
**Mendoza line **-- The line of hair from the belly button to the crotch. So called because it prompts viewers to comment, “Mendoza some hairy nuts!”
moon shot – A failed attempt at butt sex.
ribbie – What’s on some condomies for my pleasurie.
rubber game – Sex with a skeevy-looking pick up from a bar.
set-up man – Mark Grace, when I watch him play and am “suddenly” interested in gettin’ some.
table setter – I don’t know why, but this just sounds naughty to me.
touch 'em all – What I sometimes do when it’s dark and no one’s looking.
twin killing – Overzealous breast-squeezing.
**utility player **-- A player who fills in at many positions, if you know what I mean.
yakker – A spitter.
Help me out here, so I can titter and snort during the color commentary while listening to the game at work. Got any more?