You down with OPP? (Old People's Problems) Then post them here

In hospital today for a pre-op, for knee replacement on 25th Jan.
Memory is so far gone that I can’t remember if anyone has said this:

Would that voters took that advice

This maxim becomes more important the further one goes into old age.

At some point, turning over in bed became an event requiring planning. “OK, keep the shoulder and hip in line, swing the arm across, and roll…”

Thinking that my frequent toilet trips after eating Special K for breakfast were due to lactose intolerance, I switched to lactose-free milk. My turds are less fluffy and more solid, but I still make frequent toilet runs. I also bought a few cans of non-stick dry film lubricant to spray the inside of my toilet to keep shit from sticking, but I still have to scrub after every other shit.

/old fuck rant off

I’m told that most people over 40-ish will show herniations, reduced foramina, spondylitis, etc. and still be asymptomatic.

As for me, two-level fusion at L4-L5-S1 precludes further MRI as the spacer cage and rods obliterate imaging.

Then there’s cervical spine degeneration, managed with an artificial disk and a couple microdiscectomies, the trigger finger and carpal tunnel, both resolved with hand surgery, general arthritis, hypertension (150/90 is my normal resting BP) ED, and a sneak attack of ulcerated/perforated diverticulitis that was asymptomatic but alarming on CT. Lost my sigmoid colon from that.

Par for the course in my genetic history.

Hell, half the folks over 60 will have evidence of possible critical cord compression along with a ton of complaints of spinal pain. THEN one must decide whether or not any of the complaints/findings are true red flag signs/sx or not.

My C7 spondylosis looks on MRI like it’s a guillotine blade ready to sever my cord whenever I move my neck (which hurts every time I move it) but it’s been like that for 4 years now. EMGs only show mild CTS changes. My Family doc (whom I used to share an office with, back in private practice) still thinks I should “get acquainted” with a neurosurgeon who can swoop in and do urgent surgery if things go pear-shaped.

I can’t tell if the new pain in my knuckles and other finger joints is just my crummy tendons (I tend to injure my gristle a lot), or if it’s the onset of arthritis. Not only is the forefinger knuckle as sore as hell, the skin covering the knuckle is super-sensitive to touch and to cold temperatures.

My mom started having arthritis at a much younger age than I am now, and I’ve always dreaded getting it too. Towards her last years, her hands were crippled.

Oh, and when the lights are off, I’ve started to see flashes of light up to the left in my left eye when I move my eyeballs. And when the lights are on, I see I’ve developed a biggish floater off to the left as well. I keep thinking I’m seeing a bug crawling on the white walls to the left of my bed. I’m seeing the ophthalmologist next week and I’ll ask him about that.

Well, you all just knew I’d have to weigh in on that one! No, fasting isn’t fun, but it’s surprisingly tolerable, especially since you CAN ingest stuff, just nothing solid. Sleep late on prep day, so you’re not even dealing with that all that long. You can also ask about ColoGard if you truly do not want to go with the gold standard. But do it. Just find a way to do it.

Us: Well, my husband and I talk about bowel problems. I think that’s pretty much the quintessential sign that we’re Getting Old. A few years back, I saw one of those “true medical stories” shows in which an old man kept having these episodes of syncope, arrhythmia or whatever, and went to the ER. While there, he had another episode, right after using the toilet - and his wife had been with him the whole time.

The doctors were beginning to suspect Munchausen’s or something - when one of them had a bright idea to have the couple bring in ALL their medications.

And realized that the husband had hemorrhoid cream… and nitroglycerine ointment. The wife’s vision wasn’t perfect - and she was grabbing the wrong one when helping hubby out after he used the toilet.

I told my husband “This will never be a problem with us. I love you. I would do almost anything for you. I do not love you THAT much”.

Other old stuff: Hearing. Mine is OK, so far, but my husband’s is slipping a bit. The microwave was beeping in the next room and he did not hear it. He’ll get hearing aids at some point but right now he’s using AirPods around the house to see how much that helps. He was amazed to find that his keyboard and mouse make clicking noises.

My knees are crap. Haven’t been able to ride a bike in 30+ years - any attempt, and they hurt for weeks. Mostly OK but every now and then they act up out of the blue, for no good reason.

I’ve got better vision than I’ve had since age 8… because I had cataracts and got them fixed.

I’m tired. I want to quit my job and retire. Years ago, I used to think that if I won the lottery I’d keep working for a while. Not anymore: the day the check clears, I’d hand in my notice.

Definitely see someone about the flashing light thing. As for floaters, I’m afraid you’re stuck with them. A surgical procedure exists if it’s bad enough to warrant it, but it’s risky and complicated and probably won’t help.

Have you tried eliminating gluten from your diet? A lot of people seem to be somewhat gluten-intolerant, even if celiac testing is negative. Of course, at some point the question of how much you’re willing to give up to be socially acceptable comes up.

Yeah, I’ve heard similar assertions. But I really, really like bread a lot, so going gluten-free is a pretty hard sell. Eschewing (always wanted an excuse to use that word) raw cabbage has been pretty successful so far.

Case in point: my brother.

T is 63 and a really social guy. Covid has been very, very hard on him. He managed to convince himself he had Alzheimer’s (our dad died of it) and then, after talking to him about symptoms, etc. worked on himself to prove that he didn’t. After our discussion and after both being vaccinated and cleared of having Covid, he and I drove to a family gathering together (he drove), wow. Then, I observed him again at Christmas and oh boy. Had a short chat with another brother and went home to confirm symptoms. I think he either has Alzheimer’s or Lewy Body Dementia.

So, had a long, hard talk with T on the phone and he was in total denial for a bit. But I managed to convince him that he needs to see his doc ASAP about it and to consider that he should stick to roads he knows well, and start figuring out alternative transportation because driving himself is not in his even middling distant future. Tough, tough call. And now worried about something I can’t control. Working on all us siblings to have plans in place for ourselves and to tell each other those plans.

It sucks.

I have arthritis; been about 14 or 15 years since it first hit me in my late thirties. At first it was just horrible pain and swollen feet and ankles but for some years now it occasionally is so bad I can’t hardly get my compression socks on and no way I can get my shoes on in order to go anywhere. I’m currently on day 6 of a pretty bad bout, in fact.

Mind you, I don’t remember this happening but if someone calls and offers you a chance to acquire arthritis, say ‘no’.

Damn. Looks like I missed an opportunity for a side gig.

Late stage capitalism takes a weird turn

Mod note: I think you put this in the wrong thread. Would you like it moved?

I don’t think so. @bobsmom101 had a post upthread about their endemic flatulence, so here they are just noting that they could have been making money off of it (like the subject of the linked thread). At least, that’s what I took it to be.

Sorry if I was obscure. @Roderick_Femm is correct.

I finally went to my doctor about my arthritic thumb. Unfortunately, injections are nearly impossible for a thumb, and surgery would likely mean fusing the joint, so he has referred me to a hand therapist, which I hope will help. I’m just going to live with the knee issues until either I’m dead or can’t walk.

I had a friend who was big into knitting and crocheting. She would get shots for her thumbs so she could keep up her handiwork. The first two shots were effective and they lost efficacy after that. She told me that if the doctor suggests it, he just wants the money. :face_with_raised_eyebrow: But boy, I’d be willing to try it on this cold day because my thumb joints hurt like #*@%.