Sometimes you read an article and just say what the fuck.
Stephanie Matto is a star on a reality show called 90 Day Fiancé: The Single Life. Which is good for her, I guess, but she recently had to quit her regular job…
…wait for it…
…selling her farts. Matto would fart in a jar and then sell it. For at least a hundred dollars apiece. In some cases up to a thousand dollars apiece. And she sold an average of fifty jars a week.
She had to quit for medical reasons. She was eating a lot of beans, cabbage, and eggs and the amount of farts she was producing was causing her too much abdominal pain and swelling.
I’d like to add a joke here but I can’t think of anything that would even approach the level of the actual facts.
How would her customers even know the farts came from her? It’s not like they’re going to do DNA analysis on fecal particles in the jars. So there’s no reason for her to retire - she could have just had a friend or relative cover for her during her stint in the hospital (or even hire a lackey for the whole operation if she doesn’t want to deal with continued gastrointestinal distress), and her customers would be none the wiser. But anyhow, if the customers are dumb enough to pay for this, then they get what they truly deserve.
This story also reminds me of an incident in 2016 where someone tried to sell a bag of air from the Chicago Cubs’ World Series Game 7 victory on eBay, and people actually bid on it.
Is that really a problem with capitalism? Even in a Star Trek post-capitalist society people would still be trading goods or services to further their weird sexual desires.
I’m not shocked that there is someone, somewhere who is interesting in this “product.” I am shocked that there are 50 people per week with this particular kink and the means to buy into it.
Stories like this are why the old maxims about how to succeed in life are no longer valid. It’s all about appearance, broadcasting your flaws, and having no sense of shame. Failure is good as long as it gets a lot of views.
I don’t know what it tells about me that I don’t find this that surprising. Olfactory stimuli can be a powerful thing. And, that’s not her only product as “an adult content creator who launched her own OnlyFans-esque platform, Unfiltrd”.
What I find more surprising, is that in the show she was in she said she actually had been selibate for a time, and didn’t seem to be very interested in any sort of physical contact with somebody she thought might be the love of her life. (Yes, I did in fact happen to catch some shame inducing programming during the holidays)
I guess she’s more comfortable with her “sensuality” these days.
What is it imagined that the purchasers will do with these jars? Are they meant to be opened right away and shared with your guests around the dinner table? Or will they be kept in a darkened cellar for some number of years to age? Are the jars labeled with their vintage years? Will particular vintages come to be known as excellent years? Will well-aged jars appreciate significantly in value? Will eccentric millionaires buy vintage bottles and decant them amidst a throng of guests, reporters, and photographers?
Is there some reason she has to get out of the business entirely? It may be unhealthy for her to produce 50 jars per week, but there must be some level that is sustainable and doesn’t put her at risk. If she only sells 5 per week, that’s still not bad.
Considering the recent disruptions to the supply chain, I wonder if she’s had any trouble getting jars.