Just to be clear, I am not saying that it isn’t relatively popular or that it doesn’t exist or that it isn’t a huge problem. I am also not saying that the sex worker situation for adults in Thailand doesn’t have issues of its own.
You two should not “just leave each other alone for now”, you two should stay away from eachother forever. You both made foolish decisions in this situation, but apologizing and “feeling bad” about it doesn’t fix anything.
If you want to atone (and I sure hope you do), a good start would be getting some form of help to control your emotions and I’m not just talking about your “anger” problem. You made hasty decisions based on lust by sleeping with her and letting her move in so quickly; you struck her when you were angry she was leaving; then you express some form of validation by being berated by a bunch of strangers on a message board. I am not a physchologist/psychiatrist, so I won’t attempt to diagnose, but you’re exhibiting the tell-tale signs of several emotional problems that could be anything (or any combination) of depression, codependency, bi-polar, or Lord knows what else.
I would give the same advice to her. She was fickle with her emotions, saying she was in love with you one moment, then returning to her ex the next. She also seems to have a string of abuse in her past by how she responded to your slap, much less to her ex feigning to be suicidal (a common tactic for abusive men, as I understand). It looks as if she also has a plethora of emotional issues on which she needs help.
Bottom line, neither of you is healthy enough to be in a relationship and both of you need a lot of help before you should even consider trying again. To return to my initial point, maintaining further contact between the two of you is doing you both a disservice: get help, move on.
Hmmm.
Troll, or total jackass?
Troll, or total jackass?
Troll, or total jackass?
Hell with it. Doesn’t really matter.
Might be both!
Anyone who physically assaults a sex partner for deciding to become a former sex partner under any circumstances at all - let alone deciding after less than a fortnight to return to a previous sex partner is self-evidently a total jackass. To then post about your behavior in a forum where even cursory examination would tell you it’ll start a gasoline-fired forest fire makes you a troll. As he’s been a member of our august companionship since May, he’s gotta know we wouldn’t take kindly to his actions. The subsequent posts filled with faux-sincerity ("Oh but I’m sorry! and :rolleyes: “I’m hoping the verbal bashing I take will make up for it!”) so don’t change either description.
So, therefore I vote both jackass and troll! Now, if he actually does manage to find and screw an underage Thai sex worker and post about it, he’ll have hit the troll/asshole continum Trifecta.
“If he means he struck her, then yes he has issues and is an asshole.”
True. He’d also have committed a crime.
"if he means that he banged her one last time, I am not going to condemn him for that, "
That depends a good deal on whether or not she wanted to. If not, that’s a crime, too and he belongs in gaol.
(my bolding) (slight hijack)
Strewth, I haven’t seen that word used in a long time. If I may ask, where are you from?
He/She’s from Final Fantasy. W00t.
Actually, I was being sarcastic there. It was Antiquated Spelling World.
[continuing hijack briefly]
I use gaol in my written conversations almost exclusively (rather than jail) and never realised it was mostly defunct.
Well, there ya’ go!!
[/hijack]
This is something I’ve been thinking about lately. I recently met a guy who had just gotten out of the hospital, whose face was messed up pretty badly. His girlfriend had taken a castiron skillet off the stove and brained him with it. Everyone he told about it, male or female, asked the same question: “Jeez what did you do to her?” Including me.
He ran into the frying pan.
Nine times.
(so very sorry.)
Back on Topic.
Anyone who thinks going to Thailand to pick up prostitutes is the best gift ever for themselves is someone who has major issues with women and considers them disposable.
Either way, just swear off women until you get your head straight.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I recall a Liverpudlian workmate telling me a story about a guy he knew who had six geezers down the pub “explaining” to him why he should not raise his hand to his wife. And after all, she was only going for him with the carving knife at the time. :rolleyes:
Well, for what it’s worth, it’s the form I usually use in speech.
Yeah, if it had been my daughter he felt free to pop, he’d be spending Christmas peering through bars. I’m sure that my sister’s abuse started with just a slap. By the time it was all over (after many months), her husband was lying on the living room floor where my mother had just put him, and staring down the barrel of my shotgun (I was 14 at the time). The act is despicable, the consequences can be lethal.
Interesting story in the Op.
Three actors all fucked up nearly beyond hope.
The Op: falls in love and asks new girlfriend to move in almost immediately. Then when surprise, surprise, they break up just as fast, he resorts to physical violence for no clear reason. Fuckwit indeed.
Bonus stupidity: Off to get some strange diseases in Thailand as gift to himself. Maybe he could get drunk and stupid and get himself shot like an old shipmate of mine did in Thailand. Apparently, he is a spoiled brat with too much cash on hand for his own good. {Word of warning, the prostitutes you hire will probably have slept with hundreds of men, maybe you should just rent some porn and satisfy yourself, cheaper and a lot safer.}
ex-Girl Friend {also known as Dumb Cow}: Just as shallow as the Op apparently. Moves in with stranger, returns to an emotional wreck of an ex that threatens to kill himself. This is actually a good enough definition of being dumb at least. When a person threatens to kill themselves if you do not come back, this is the time to get them help, get a restraining order and be nervous of what happens when you do not come back. Many of these idiots will then turn their suicidal thoughts to rage against the ex and be extremely dangerous. After all, once you are seriously considering suicide what do you have to lose?
Ex/re-Boyfriend: Here is a prize, threatens suicide if ex does not return. Now that this ploy has worked, I would guess the boyfriend would act even more unstable at the next break-up. A real winner who is being enabled by the GF.
Back to the Op:
-
Do not ever hit a woman again except in self-defense!
-
Do not bother or try to get back together with this girl. You are very bad for each other and she probably has any many issues as you do.
-
Get your money back on your ‘sexcursion’, it is a terrible and dangerous concept.
Jim
To start I think the OP was a total jackass for hitting her. The rest of it can be chalked up to being young and stupid. Hitting someone, man or woman, like that is really inexcusable.
The thought that you should never ever hit a woman is just wrong though. Unless of course you think that you should never ever hit a man also. My feelings are that when women start hitting you they have decided that violence is an acceptable answer. (Please don’t jump on me yet.) I think the same way about men though and try to deal with them in the same way.
When someone hits me I ask them to stop. If they continue I tell them to stop. If they continue I warn them what will happen if they don’t stop. If they then continue I stop them. The asking, telling, warning steps can be bypassed if the person is actually or trying to actually hurt you. Then you need to do what you can to defend yourself.
This has only happened a couple times with friends of mine. Once with a man and once with a woman.
The man thought a joke that ended up with him hitting you in the nuts was the height of humor. After going through the asking, telling, warning steps he did it again so I decked him. He wasn’t actually hurt and he has never pulled that joke on me again. Actually I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do it to anyone else since.
The woman is actually a pretty god friend of mine. For some reason thought it was hilarious to give me tittie twisters. I asked her to stop doing it several times. Then I told her to stop several times. Finally I warned her that if she did it again she would be getting one back. The last time she did it to me she seemed shocked when I did it right back. Everyone that knew what was going on agreed she deserved it. (God that sounds bad.) We’ve talked about it a couple times but she hasn’t done it again.
Please don’t kill me now
Rob
Sounds like you’re beginning to think that a society in which people even ask that question when they see a man who’s just been assaulted with a potentially deadly weapon (and yes, you could easily kill someone with a cast iron skillet) by a female.
I’d bet my left kidney that nobody would’ve asked that had the genders been reversed.
Was she in jail? Was she even charged with assault/battery?
Obviously the trolls are now planting sleeper cells in the SDMB.
…with his dick? That’s still pretty impressive.
I was working up a fair tantrum about things that have pissed me off at work today, but this spoiled it. Spoiled, I tell you!
As long as you don’t come out swinging.