“What band is Jon Anderson best known for?”
A cheesy NY DJ did this bit to death almost 20 years ago. He never got tired of laughing at his own jokes.
I never got tired of changing the station.
Basically, yes, this would be the question to ask.
And when you share your new knowledge with all of mankind, how does that work?
“See, I asked this for-reals Magic Eightball. No, I don’t have access to it, once used it auto destructed.”
An interesting side-question here:
What’s the most money one could **guarantee ** earning using a single yes/no answer? Somebody has already pointed out that a roulette spin would still have a 1% shot of bankrupting you.
For sports betting, you still have to get lucky enough to find a matchup where the underdog is going to win. You might ask if some nobody schlub is going to beat Manny Pacquiao, but the ball is going to say “no” and you won’t be able to make much money on the bet.
“Can entropy be reversed?”
The green slots on a roulette wheel won’t bankrupt you if you play smart. If the answer to “will it land on red” is yes, then you can confidently put 10 grand on red and double your money. If the answer is no, then you put about 800 each on 0 and 00 and the rest on black and you still do OK.
The problem, as mentioned earlier, is really table limits. You could get a bunch of your friends together and divvy up your money between them, but in no way is it going to be a retirement level of winnings.
Basically, yeah, the odds need to be slanted, and then if the 8-ball tells you that the expected outcome is indeed the winner you can’t leverage it. Even odds are the best way to make money on this but then your winnings are capped pretty low. I’m stumped.
Well-played, sir.
“Will I be diagnosed with cancer before age x?”
You’d have to give some careful thought to the choice of age to ask about, and it would depend on your current age, estimated cancer risk, and life goals.
“Will Bashar al-Assad still rule any portion of of Syria in ten years?”
Opportunities to profit from knowing the answer to this question might be morally questionable.
“Will I ever acquire a sexually transmitted infection?”
Think of all the fun you could have if the answer were “no”! 
Does P = NP?
Best question so far!
I’m still thinking about what question I’d ask, but one that might top my list is, “will I outlive my wife?” At this point, given our ages and our individual and family health histories, it’s probably a coin toss as to which of us will outlive the other. But strange as it may seem, I’d like to know which way that coin toss will come up.
Will a barrel of oil, ounce of gold, share of Google, be worth more than $X.XX in 10 years.
It would take a lot of research and capitol but can’t you buy futures, or short sell stuff to make a profit either way. I admit I really don’t know what I’m talking about but I have some vague thought that this could work.
If WidgetCo stock is currently selling at $25 a share, and you ask if it will be worth more than, say, $50 a share in 10 years…
yes? Buy all the stock you can, make a decent profit.
no? This is where it falls apart. You can’t short it because it may hit $49.99.
Stock has the same problem as sports betting. First you have to pinpoint a stock that you expect will see a remarkable rise in profit in x number of years, or else risk wasting your question.
If you could do that with any consistency, you wouldn’t need the magic 8 ball.
A question that is on my mind constantly these days:
Is staying in my current career path the right thing to do for my growth?
I think the best question for gambling would be " in this Baccarat deck, will the Player win a hand before the Banker?" Baccarat generally has much higher stakes, and a lower house edge, than Roulette. It’s also less messy than spreading your bet across the table.
This was a good post. Given my family longevity history, the question I would ask is “Will I live to be 85 years old in good mental health?”
An answer to that question would provide sound advice for my financial investment plans.
P.S. You young kids might not get it. But when you reach my age, how much longer you have is a big deal.
I disagree. I’m not sure what you are using as a determining factor for “useless”. This is something I would just like to know. It would be deeply satisfying to me to know either way.
Re the God issue, I don’t need an 8 ball to know God doesn’t exist.
If you’re going for the money approach, I think the best bet is to turn it into some kind of media frenzy.
This guy was in the news a while ago. Liquidates life savings and bets it on red. Presumably, if there were table limits, they were temporarily lifted by the casino.
I can easily imagine a big media event centered around “man bets life savings on Magic 8 Ball”. No one has to know that it’s real; it’s not like a single winning coinflip means anything. Relatively cheap advertising for the casino. You might actually come out with more than double your money if you can tap into the advertising dollars somehow.