You gotta be shitting me! [Christmas music]

[Maeglin]

I am yet another in the long parade of Jews who have left the tribe. Suffice to say, I loathe the inundation of Christmas music, especially in places where I cannot realistically tune out the noise.

However, if the Powers That Be replaced “Rocking Around The Christmas Tree” with, say, ELP’s I Believe In Father Christmas," “Jingle Bells Rock” with Jethro Tull’s Christmas Song, and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Raindeer” with the Kinks’ Father Christmas, I would thenceforth shut the fuck up about it forevermore.

[Jackmannii]

Just saw it on the news - Toys for Tots is rejecting Bible-quoting dolls.

Seems they’re worried that the dolls might get misdirected to kiddies of other faiths - and little Muhammad will accidentally pull the string and get Bible verses spewed all over him.
Thinking about this, I am now worried that Fred Phelps and his clan are planning a stealth campaign to infiltrate dolls carrying his flock’s messages into the toy supply.

Euuuuwww.

[Kimstu]

@Jackmannii

Just saw it on the news - Toys for Tots is rejecting Bible-quoting dolls.

No offense, Jack, but when I read that I found it rather hard to believe that there actually were such things as Bible-quoting dolls.

So I googled around some, and Og help me, I discovered that they do indeed exist. And not just ordinary baby dolls reciting Bible quotes, either: no, your kiddies can be the proud possessor of Holy Huggable Talking Jesus, “a toy that loves you back”! Complete with dreadlocks, sandals, and rope belt. (That’s not a bleeding heart on the front of his robe, though, it’s a “Press Me” button.)

I am now curled up under my desk clutching my laptop and struggling to control the dry heaves, but I guess that’s what I get for doubting the word of a reliable poster.

[photopat]

@Maeglin

…However, if the Powers That Be replaced “Rocking Around The Christmas Tree” with, say, ELP’s I Believe In Father Christmas," “Jingle Bells Rock” with Jethro Tull’s Christmas Song, and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Raindeer” with the Kinks’ Father Christmas, I would thenceforth shut the fuck up about it forevermore.

I can completely get behind those musical changes. I can’t stand “Rocking Around…” or “Jingle Bell Rock” and the only version of “Rudolph” I care to hear is the original by Gene Autrey, with the cool country-swing band.

Another song I’d love to never hear again is “Santa Baby” by anybody.

However, I can always listen to Lennon’s “So This is Christmas,” even outside the season.

[Rilchiam]

[nitpick]It’s “Happy Christmas (War is Over)”.[/nitpick]

[The_Swan]

@photopat

Another song I’d love to never hear again is “Santa Baby” by anybody.

That’s heresy. Eartha Kitt is fantastic, and did a hell of a job on that song. She was quite racy back in the day, doing songs like Somebody Bad Stole de Wedding Bell, subtitled Who’s Got de Ding Dong?

What Madonna did, on the other hand, should be against the law.

[Beware_of_Doug]

@C K Dexter Haven

When I was a boy, back in the 1950s, I was the only Jew in my grade. We sang Christmas carols in school. Not just Frosty the Snowman, but all the songs about the little Lord Jesus in his cradle, and joy to the world for the Lord has come and glory to the newborn king. Jesus is not my lord and not my king. Imagine if you were a kid in a class and they were all singing a Klu Klux Klan song about purifying the white race? or a black rap song about killing honkies?

Although I take your point, C K, I’m not sure what Christian hymns about peace and salvation have in common with songs about hatred and violence. Other than the fact that they both have the potential to make people uncomfortable, I’m uneasy that you equate them so readily. (This despite, or perhaps because, of my religiously liberal beliefs.)

[GLWasteful]

@Hippy Hollow

You asked for it… and you’ll be sorry (the link is on the page, it’s in RealAudio). I burst out laughing at the end of this song and I am so ashamed of myself. Perhaps it’s because of the insane adult voice that kicks in at the end.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha! Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh! that was even better than I could have hoped for. As to laughing aloud, well, everyone needs their escape valves. And you’re right, that adult voice is totally incongruous. Which makes it all the more delightful. I need to stash this link so that I can go back and listen to it when I need a good guffaw.

Man, even Michael Jackson couldn’t top the schlock in his most sappy-I-love-the-children mode.

This word, “sappy” does it mean what I think it might mean? Because if so. . .well. . .ewww.

And in regards the Holy Huggables: While the talking Jesus looks like what I imagine a stuffed version of Jesus might look like (and just who, pray tell, voices him? Because I always imagined Buddy Hackett), the plush Jesus has the hipster facial hair working. Not sure if they’re trying to appeal to the kids today, or if the person who designed him is going to their version of hell, but I can totally see plush Jesus knocking back a double macchiatto on the way to his philosophy class, then rushing down to the quad for some hack. Followed, natch, by a kegger replete with beer bongs aplenty that evening. Waddaya wanna bet he’s got a tattoo in a private place, as well?

And all thanks, Rilchiam, for clearing up that song title.

[Carol_Stream]

@C K Dexter Haven

Those who want that kind of music, or Christian hymns, or Klu Klux Klan paeans to racial purity, or atheist songs, or whatever, are welcome to them. No one is trying to impose censorship. We’re only saying that such songs do NOT belong in public tax-payer-owned buildings like schools or government. And that if a shopkeeper wants to play them, we have the right not to go into that shop.

I don’t see how you can compare Christmas music to “Klu Klux Klan paeans to racial purity”, “Third Reich music”, or “stereotyped blacks or Japanese entertainers”.

Those things are deliberately hateful to others, while Angels we Have Heard on High has no such content, intent, or anything else in common, as far as I can tell.

[photopat]

@Rilchiam

[nitpick]It’s “Happy Christmas (War is Over)”.[/nitpick]

:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: I know that. What was I thinking? :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:
The Swan

That’s heresy. Eartha Kitt is fantastic, and did a hell of a job on that song. She was quite racy back in the day, doing songs like Somebody Bad Stole de Wedding Bell, subtitled Who’s Got de Ding Dong?

What Madonna did, on the other hand, should be against the law.

No argument that Eartha was a cat-hottie back in the day, but I’ve heard that song enough. Let it retire gracefully. If the radio stations want to substitute Somebody Bad Stole de Wedding Bell this Christmas, I’m okay with that, even if it is seasonally inappropriate.

[Chefguy]

As a wise man once said: “Festivus for the rest of us!”

[Frosted_Glass]

For the record, I was raised Congregationalist and I am now an Agnostic. My hometown has a very sizeable Jewish population. A guesstimate based on my high school class would lead me to believe we were 45% Jewish, 35% Christian, 20% Other. Our municipal center lights a giant menorah during Hanukkah and tree for Christmas. Other than that, we do not hang greenery everywhere or put up lights and shooting stars all over the shopping districts, nor have we ever erected a nativity scene. Still, our stores blare the Christmas music and sales people love to wish me a Merry Christmas. Because as we all know, all black people love Jesus but I digress. Reading through this thread, I fail to see how anyone can be offended by Frosty the Snowman. I mean, if it does not mention Jesus or god or being saved or some other such thing, then who cares? I can almost understand being upset with * Angels We Have Heard on High * but the secular trash is only offensive to the ears. Really I see no difference between * Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer * and the Rap music that they play at the mall Foot Locker. If stores are promoting holiday goods, then they are going to play holiday music. With regards to radio stations…I got nothing. The stations I listen to never switch to playing Christmas music exclusively. Good luck with that.

[Catamount]

@Ensign Edison

I swear, this place is full of good fucking Germans. “Shut up, stop complaining, it’s totally uncool to get mad about stuff, just shut up and shop, and don’t think, don’t question, definitely don’t ever complain, don’t you know caring is unfashionable this year?”

What was that you were saying about stereotyping earlier?

[Nava]

@Rilchiam

Do you also refuse to visit St. Louis, San Diego, and Los Angeles?

These “Jesusy” songs that I like are generations old. Millions of people have listened to them without being coerced into abandoning their own religion, or even feeling insulted. This notion that one cannot be true to one’s own beliefs unless everyone else suppresses theirs is a very new concept. Playing “Silent Night” on a store PA system is not sending a message. If you choose to find a message in it and be offended, that’s on you.

Must such not being able to listen to Bach… I’m not that much of a Bach fan, but sheesh!

No “Corte del Faraón”… no half of Verdi… Verdi, I do be a fan of… would Spanish “sweet Rebeca” legends also be unacceptable? The lady is jewish (the gent is Christian and all the versions I know end with both families as friends).

[Nava]

@Hippy Hollow

[li]Frosty The Fucking Snowman[/li]

I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that version, is it by MnM?

[Ensign_Edison]

@SpazCat

What was that you were saying about stereotyping earlier?

Nothing? What the fuck are you talking about?

[Ensign_Edison]

@Frosted Glass

For the record, I was raised Congregationalist and I am now an Agnostic. My hometown has a very sizeable Jewish population. A guesstimate based on my high school class would lead me to believe we were 45% Jewish, 35% Christian, 20% Other. Our municipal center lights a giant menorah during Hanukkah and tree for Christmas. Other than that, we do not hang greenery everywhere or put up lights and shooting stars all over the shopping districts, nor have we ever erected a nativity scene. Still, our stores blare the Christmas music and sales people love to wish me a Merry Christmas. Because as we all know, all black people love Jesus but I digress. Reading through this thread, I fail to see how anyone can be offended by Frosty the Snowman. I mean, if it does not mention Jesus or god or being saved or some other such thi

No one is offended by Frosty, they just fucking hate it. I think you must have misunderstood. MsRobyn and others were talking about religious music, I believe.

[Little_Plastic_Ninja]

Holy cats, Ensign Edison. Decaf.

Retail stores play Christmas music because most of the country celebrates the holiday, Christian or not. For the stores, this isn’t a happy baby Jesus day, this is a day where nearly everyone feels enjoined to purchase plastic tchochkes and sausage-and-cheese selections.

Some dreadfully high percentage of Americans self-identify as Christians.

There aren’t very many Hanukkah songs. Or Kwanzaa songs. At least, there’s few in comparison to the overwhelming avalanche of Christmas dreck out there. Christianity gets an overwhelming amount of airtime? I both agree and disagree.

The holiday called Christmas is a duality. Christmas gets all the airtime, yes, but it’s not the frankincense-and-myrrh, midnight mass, baby Jesus Christmas. It’s holly and snow and sleighs and shopping and hot cocoa and getting the family together and roast beef. It’s presents and Santa Claus and Baby It’s Cold Outside and the Grinch and it’s got fuck-all to do with the religious holiday.

St. Nicholas’s Day is December 6, I believe. And isn’t it Twelfth Night, which takes place in January, when the Wise Men showed up with their own gifts? Modern Christmas has about as much to do with the religious holiday as the size and shape of the Space Shuttle have to do with the width of ancient Roman roads.

Now, I can’t deny that there IS a link. There is a huge and often very, very irritating assumption that everyone in the room is Christian. I’m not saying it’s good, I’m not saying it’s right, but I’m saying that getting offended over it solves nothing. If it really fills you with this much bottled-up fury – which sounds like you’re generating enough blood pressure to bust a vessel – then do something about it. Refuse to shop in these stores, complain to the manager, whatever makes you feel better.

It just baffles me when people get phenomenally offended at behavior not directed at them and not calculated to offend. It’s like seeing two men kiss and being Utterly Scandalized and complaining about how they’re rubbing their behavior in your face…

[Chefguy]

@Little Plastic Ninja

.

It just baffles me when people get phenomenally offended at behavior not directed at them and not calculated to offend. …

. . .while at the same time taking the day off to non-celebrate.

[Ensign_Edison]

Now, I can’t deny that there IS a link. There is a huge and often very, very irritating assumption that everyone in the room is Christian. I’m not saying it’s good, I’m not saying it’s right, but I’m saying that getting offended over it solves nothing. If it really fills you with this much bottled-up fury – which sounds like you’re generating enough blood pressure to bust a vessel – then do something about it. Refuse to shop in these stores, complain to the manager, whatever makes you feel better.

That’s just how I always sound. My blood pressure is fine. It’s just that I actually believe in things and stand up for them, you know? You should try it some time. Some things are more important than looking super cool and disaffected.

You agree it’s bad, you agree it’s wrong, but you think…“getting offended” – and what we’re talking about, what everyone is sneering at, is that someone simply doesn’t shop in places that do this, and writes a letter to the management to explain why, by the way. That’s what MsRobyn said that got everyone so mad. Since it’s pretty clear you haven’t bothered to actually read the thread, I thought I’d make sure that’s absolutely clear. You’re saying that not shopping somewhere and making sure the management knows why is somehow not part of the solution, and that anyone who thinks it is needs to switch to decaf/has personal problems/etc.

You want to stand by that?