You graduated from law school? How?

The BBQ Pit
1

(a quick note, my wife and I are separated, most of this rant is not about her, though she may crop up, but about the fucking baboon that she hired as a lawyer.)

Lets see where do I start. Oh yeah. Hey numb nuts, how about getting my fucking address right. Is it THAT much of a problem, not only did my wife give it to you, but I’ve sent it three goddamn times now. Every time I get a letter from you the fucking baboon that you have putting my address on the envelope is different. For months you wouldn’t put a zip code on there. Now that you do, that zip code is in fucking Kansas. What the hell are you? I live 20 miles away, it is NOT that damned hard to look up a zip code, or maybe look at my return address you cock mongrel. That and the address on the envelope and the one on the letterhead are different too, you must be fucking blind.

Next learn to fucking spell, granted I’m not the best speller in the world, but guess what I don’t make leangle documents for a living. You do know what those little squiggly lines under the words are in Word for right? It’s so you know that you’ve misspelled a word or made a grammatical error. Damn, even my cat knows that. I guess when you went to college I guess you forgot about that class didn’t you? I wish I had my first letter from him in front of me, it was so full of errors it wasn’t even funny. Oh yeah, a hint, the first word of a sentence is fucking capitalized you dumbass.

Maybe you should learn to proof read instead of just sending it off. Then maybe you’ll catch shit like this…

What the fuck does that say? :confused:
I know what you want to say, but that’s not what you said. How many times in one document do I have to read stupid shit like that? Here’s another one…

Ok so that’s not as bad, but that’s my fucking separation papers, this means that I look like a fucking moron for signing the damn thing.

Next, learn to use a calculator, I’m guessing you skipped basic math too huh? How do you get 29,657 out of 59,685/2? Then later in the SAME sentence you used the correct amount of 29,842, that’s not even a typo. Maybe you should hire a monkey to do your calculations for you.

Don’t try and fucking threaten me in your letters either, it’s not gonna work.

Hey asshole is that why you can’t get my address right? So that you can tell her to get rid of my things? It took a week, I guess so that it could come back from Kansas, to get to me. That leaves me with three weeks to get a letter to you, find time, and get my things. Well I’m not gonna fall for it cock sucker.

Oh yeah, next time don’t tell my wife not to sign anything, then turn around and fucking try and force me to sign for her car paper work. I tried for months to get my wife to sign my paperwork so I could get tags on my car. Her lawyer told her not to sign, now he’s telling me that I MUST sign for her’s. Do I? I got screwed because she refused to sign, how did she end up renewing her tags without my signature that the MVA requires? Maybe you told her it was ok to forge my name? Probably, cause she closed lots of things with my name on it without my permission. Oh and if my wife had returned my or my fathers phone calls she would have known that the papers were signed by me last week.

One more thing, if you want to try and pass something off as fact, I want a fucking cite for that. No really I do, I don’t want you making numbers up out of your ass like that.

Oh yeah, guess I’m a no one then dick head because I did. Or

You do? Since when? Typically the closing costs for a house are only 6% with half being paid by each party, how come when I sell my house to the wife I have to pay 7%? I don’t think so dill hole.

Quite frankly sir, how did you ever manage to graduate from law school? Your letters are full of errors, threats, and numbers pulled out of your ass. I hope you really enjoyed it when I, the guy who barely got through English corrected your legal document. Personally I think you should try randomly hitting keys, it might come out better. Oh and use the same type of paper for one letter, I can’t believe you sent me one page on bright white paper and another, the same letter, on off white, it looks really unprofessional. No wonder people don’t like lawyers if they’re all idiots like you.

2

Excellent post! It reminds me of a former attorney general (forget his name) who commented that most practicng lawyers are a “menace to the public”!
One would think that high school english would be a prerequisite to getting a law degree!

3

Psst. I’m gonna tell you a secret

Once you get into law school, as long as you continue to have a pulse, there’s a good chance you’ll graduate.

I hope you wife isn’t paying him much - he sounds rather bargain basement.

4

IAAL who feels that a significant percentage of the time I ought to win my cases on grammar, syntax, and spelling alone.

On occasion when I’ve received excessively execrable documents from other parties, I have been tempted to look up what law school the drafter graduated from, and send a copy to their alma mater accompanied by my gratitude for the high caliber of attorney they were putting out into society. Never followed through, tho!

5

Call the bar association, tell them about the home address thing, and ask them if they’ve heard of unscrupulous attorneys who deliberately send documents to the wrong address in order to delay time-critical correspondence.

6

Heh… recognising the adverse effect that a few years of law school has on students’ grammer, syntax and spelling, my university now forces final year students into a year-long course in drafting.

Most of first semester is spent (re)learning plain English writing. Double negatives, redundant doubles/triples and the use of the passive voice is beaten out of us. So we have four years of learning to write badly, then a final year to hopefully turn us back the the light. Doesn’t always work though: the result is idiots like yours, Ed.

No, I haven’t finished the course yet.
But my third sentence is meant to be ironic, dammit. :slight_smile:

7

*No, I haven’t finished the course yet.
But my third sentence is meant to be ironic, dammit. *

How about the first sentence, where you misspelled “grammar.”

From a lawyer who is anal about spelling and grammar.

8

This post brings to mind one of the worst experiences I have had in thirty years plus in this racket. I am no speller and an even worse typist, as anyone who has read my past posts can attest. Because of this I am dependent on the skill of my secretary to interpret my dictation and get it down on paper. My skill is such that I don’t know if the hard copy is spelled correctly or not. Once upon a time my boss hired a young woman as a secretary because she was the daughter of a friend and because she was a very hot looking young lady. He soon found out that she could not spell her way through a book of cigarette paper and so assigned her to me.

One of the first things she did for me was a routine letter to another lawyer, a decent guy with a pretty good sense of humor. The letter was typed up, I proofed it in my usual slipshod way, signed it and sent it off. Two days later it came back with all the mistakes corrected in red ink. The other guy pimped me about this for years. All I could do was grit my teeth and pretend to smile.

Fortunately, the young woman fell in love, got married, got pregnant and decided to stay home. My boss made it clear that he would not fire her but I could if I wanted. I didn’t have the guts to do it. I got even though. I talked my boss’s secretary into doing my proofreading.

9

Maybe she’s paying him with alimony. I mean, that’s what I’d do. :stuck_out_tongue:

No, wait, if you’re still working out legal troubles… why would she hire such a moron? Is she smart enough to represent herself in court?

10

How about your first sentence, where you used a full stop rather than a question mark?

Open mouth; insert foot.

11

I still don’t know why the wife didn’t want to write one of these things together. It’s not that hard to do really since we have no kids and it’s mainly the house and cars. She wanted the house and three of the six cars, actaully three cars three motorcycles. It would have been pretty fair actually.

We were prepaired to do this then one day I get a letter from this guy. I believe she paid him a good 1,500+ when going to the court for a couple of hours costs a whopping $250 for the same papers.

I really can’t believe that you can get out of school and write like this. Granted not everyone writes well, I know I don’t, but when I do important papers I take my time etc. I was pretty pissed the first letter, that was why I wrote back and corrected it for him. Now I laugh when I get something. I may write to the Bar, I had thought about it the first time. Plus I can thank the SDMB for the idea of asking for a cite on bad numbers.

When I get the next one we can all have a good laugh again! :smiley:

12

Q: What do you call the person who graduates last in his class from medical school?

A: Doctor.

I guess it’s true for lawyers, too.

13

Q. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

A. Your Honor.

14

I would point out that many attorneys have so-called “volume practices.” They don’t charge a lot for their services, and make their money by handling lots of cases, and letting secretaries and paralegals do most of the work. Those sorts of practices frequently generate lots of spelling and grammatical mistakes in their correspondence or other papers. But they’re saving their clients money - it takes time to proof-read stuff.

Anyway, my question to you is - why don’t you have a lawyer too?
If you did, stuff would get mailed to him, and you wouldn’t have to worry about it (as much).

Also, you need advice. It may seem “fair” to you to obstruct the titling of your wife’s car because she did the same to you, but you might be causing a lot of problems down the road for yourself.

It also is troubling that (apparently) the representative of one of the parties is acting as broker for the sale of the marital residence. There are all sorts of opportunities for shenanigans in such a situation.

Anyway, I realize that you aren’t here to ask for advice, but nevertheless, I think you should consider getting a lawyer to protect your interests.

(standard disclaimer about legal advice)

15

no I realize this, but she paid good money for this guy, in the neibourhood of 1500-2000 just for the first paper, unlike 400-500 that it could have been done for.

It’s really not worth the money, by the time I would get one, pay them I would end up losing money and my time. I don’t worry about it really, it’s just funny.

Did I say that? If it came out that way I didn’t mean it. What happened was this. I needed to have the regestration for my motorcycle signed by both of us to get a new one. She refused to sign it. I had to goto the MVA and explain it to them that she refused to sign. They gave me problems with it but let me do it anyway. She on the other hand either forged my signature, as she had done to get my phone number, cable, electric into her name, for her car renewal when it came up later.

What’s happened now is she wants her cars in her name alone. She brings the paperwork to my father for me to sign only a week ago. I sign them, she never shows up to pick them up, does not call my father or anything. Only days later this lawyer is writing me saying I have to sign the paperwork for her. Everything that’s hers is signed over, now her lawyer is telling her not to sign the paperwork for MY cars over to me. I haven’t given her any problems at all.

It also is troubling that (apparently) the representative of one of the parties is acting as broker for the sale of the marital residence. There are all sorts of opportunities for shenanigans in such a situation.

Well it’s almost over now so unless they try and pull something really bad, like not give me my things, then I’ll get a lawyer. Plus is she really want’s to push she doesn’t know I’ve got proof of her infadelities, something I’ve just let go for now. But if I do get a lawyer I’m gonna give him/her a spelling test! :wink:

16

I shudder to think about the quality of writing coming from law school grads. After four years of undergrad schooling, I must admit that my spelling’s slipped a little, but I’m in math, which means that I write almost as much Greek as English. It seems to me that most people going into law school come from a history or political science background, where they should be well rehearsed in spelling their bullshit properly.

Not only that, but I’ve seen many a moron with a grin on his face about being in the 85th %ile for the LSAT. Who are these people in the 50th %ile? Surely SOME of them must become lawyers, and this shows that they have a handle on comprehension and reasoning which is tenuous at best.