(a quick note, my wife and I are separated, most of this rant is not about her, though she may crop up, but about the fucking baboon that she hired as a lawyer.)
Lets see where do I start. Oh yeah. Hey numb nuts, how about getting my fucking address right. Is it THAT much of a problem, not only did my wife give it to you, but I’ve sent it three goddamn times now. Every time I get a letter from you the fucking baboon that you have putting my address on the envelope is different. For months you wouldn’t put a zip code on there. Now that you do, that zip code is in fucking Kansas. What the hell are you? I live 20 miles away, it is NOT that damned hard to look up a zip code, or maybe look at my return address you cock mongrel. That and the address on the envelope and the one on the letterhead are different too, you must be fucking blind.
Next learn to fucking spell, granted I’m not the best speller in the world, but guess what I don’t make leangle documents for a living. You do know what those little squiggly lines under the words are in Word for right? It’s so you know that you’ve misspelled a word or made a grammatical error. Damn, even my cat knows that. I guess when you went to college I guess you forgot about that class didn’t you? I wish I had my first letter from him in front of me, it was so full of errors it wasn’t even funny. Oh yeah, a hint, the first word of a sentence is fucking capitalized you dumbass.
Maybe you should learn to proof read instead of just sending it off. Then maybe you’ll catch shit like this…
What the fuck does that say?
I know what you want to say, but that’s not what you said. How many times in one document do I have to read stupid shit like that? Here’s another one…
Ok so that’s not as bad, but that’s my fucking separation papers, this means that I look like a fucking moron for signing the damn thing.
Next, learn to use a calculator, I’m guessing you skipped basic math too huh? How do you get 29,657 out of 59,685/2? Then later in the SAME sentence you used the correct amount of 29,842, that’s not even a typo. Maybe you should hire a monkey to do your calculations for you.
Don’t try and fucking threaten me in your letters either, it’s not gonna work.
Hey asshole is that why you can’t get my address right? So that you can tell her to get rid of my things? It took a week, I guess so that it could come back from Kansas, to get to me. That leaves me with three weeks to get a letter to you, find time, and get my things. Well I’m not gonna fall for it cock sucker.
Oh yeah, next time don’t tell my wife not to sign anything, then turn around and fucking try and force me to sign for her car paper work. I tried for months to get my wife to sign my paperwork so I could get tags on my car. Her lawyer told her not to sign, now he’s telling me that I MUST sign for her’s. Do I? I got screwed because she refused to sign, how did she end up renewing her tags without my signature that the MVA requires? Maybe you told her it was ok to forge my name? Probably, cause she closed lots of things with my name on it without my permission. Oh and if my wife had returned my or my fathers phone calls she would have known that the papers were signed by me last week.
One more thing, if you want to try and pass something off as fact, I want a fucking cite for that. No really I do, I don’t want you making numbers up out of your ass like that.
Oh yeah, guess I’m a no one then dick head because I did. Or
You do? Since when? Typically the closing costs for a house are only 6% with half being paid by each party, how come when I sell my house to the wife I have to pay 7%? I don’t think so dill hole.
Quite frankly sir, how did you ever manage to graduate from law school? Your letters are full of errors, threats, and numbers pulled out of your ass. I hope you really enjoyed it when I, the guy who barely got through English corrected your legal document. Personally I think you should try randomly hitting keys, it might come out better. Oh and use the same type of paper for one letter, I can’t believe you sent me one page on bright white paper and another, the same letter, on off white, it looks really unprofessional. No wonder people don’t like lawyers if they’re all idiots like you.