I’d pay George Lucas to remake the Star Wars Holiday Special, and release it to theaters.
Or better yet, produce a sequel, but this time instead of focusing on Chewbacca’s family, it focuses on Jar Jar’s family.
Hell, I would be spiteful BEFORE I bought the mansions, hookers, cocaine, cars, and vacations. Wouldn’t want to run out of money before I ran out of people I want to feel my wrath!
Make it a six hour special and buy the airtime on Christmas Eve, on every network, both broadcast and cable. There will be no escape.
Give everyone living there 30 days to evacuate, then nuke the Middle East, including Mecca and Jerusalem. With nothing left to fight over, maybe the sand-monkeys will stop terrorizing the rest of the world.
That’s just lovely.
You don’t think ending terrorism is worth 50 billion?
Hell, it wouldnt have to end terrorism. If it just ended all the bitching and moaning that region generates it would be worth it.
Agreed. I should have specified “religion-based terrorism”.
That takes the cake. You are the new Overlord of Evil.
So, you’ll be pushing Quadruple HD with glasses-free 3D into everyone’s homes for this, right? Or, better yet, those new video contact lenses? Nothing there a little R&D push won’t commercialize.
My first husband has pretty much done himself in without my help. He now lives in a tent. I would buy him a house and furnish it and never let him forget it was me that paid for it.
My second husband - he is a conman, probably some serious mental problems going on there. After I paid for him to relinquish rights to all the kids he’s fathered and abandoned I’d hire someone to track all the lies he’s told and make it all public. He would self combust.
SPITEFUL! SPITEFUL! Not EVIL!
I would have Verhoeven broken … so he could never again fuck up a SF book with his 'visions’ever again.
I would buy the rights to every single Hemmingway scribble, and refuse publication every again, I would destroy all the manuscripts, printing plates, printing files, everything. I would refuse to let any school system study his crap ever again. I would also do the same with every single book I had to read in school - nobody would ever be forced to read My Darling My Hamburger, Still Waters Run Deep, or any other uplifting twaddle ever again.
Instead I would take the 50 billion that I am to do good with, and make DECENT entertaining books of short story and poetry compilations with teaching crap, history books without bias, science books without bias, and come up with a logical home ec curriculum that covers a bit of everything from nutrition to budget planning to home repair, sewing, light cooking and a bit of auto maintenance. And make the materials available to schools at a reasonable low cost. [with e-files of the materials available along with the hard copies in case the kids want it on tablets or netbooks.]
I know I posted about how White Castle now caters & how it its distinctive steamed-onion scent could be delivered to various black-tie & fine crystal events of the entitled & assholish… but then I’d be just as bad as they are.
Thank you for reminding me of one very imortant truth that bears repeating:
You got it in One. Nice.
Go make another thread. This thread is for evil deeds.
No way, I’d take my billions and fully fund the Westboro Baptist Church, so they can really grow and spread their message. No funeral would be safe.
I like how “nuking the entire Middle East and all the ‘sand monkeys’” is somehow less evil than “making a Star Wars Christmas Special sequel featuring Jar-Jar Binks”.
Lets face it, nuking your home state is still less evil than a Star Wars Christmas Special squel with Jar-Jar Binks.
Certain types might find the former a good use of the money. Nobody approves of the latter. Not even Hitler.
Heh. And to think, I was feeling bad about myself because, when I read the nuke-Jerusalem-and-Mecca-and-Medina thing, my first reaction was not moral horror but “You couldn’t do that successfully for only $50 billion!” (Moral horror came next.)
I would buy all the iPads and iPhones, from every store, everywhere. Then put them in a huge pile and burn them on national TV. I guess I could make it a weekly thing, as they produce and ship more units.