I could see that becoming a cult classic. But if it was big budget, it would flop.
Since the original was silent, I can imagine the shot-for-shot remake adding satirical dialogue.
It’s actually a really great show. Saw the Broadway touring version in Jacksonville a couple of years ago. Small cast, super simple set design, some catchy songs, and a compelling, true story. I highly recommend it if you haven’t already seen it.
Maybe it’s just me, but I would totally watch like 90% of these movies.
I wouldn’t pay to see them in a theater though, I’d wait until they showed up as DVDs at the library, or on a streaming channel I already have, so that probably still contributes to the OP’s goal to intentionally bankrupt a studio.
The George Santos Story written and directed by George Santos.
Starring Anthony Devolder as George Santos.
With Anthony Zabrovsky, George Anthony Devolder, George Devolder, Anthony Santos, George A.D. Santos, Anthony Zabrovsky, George Anthony Santos-Devolder, Katara Ravache, and guest-starring GADS as the flamboyant nosy neighbor.
“Anthony Devolder IS George Santos in this unwittingly hilarious five-hour biopic!”
- - New York Thymes
What about a prequel? A realtime docudrama covering the three hour tour itself that ends on the cliffhanger of the island landing?
And if you need to burn budget, you can always pay a few outrageous basketball salaries for some Harlem Globetrotter cameos.
Film it like Waterworld - at sea, with the gimick that you can’t see another boat in any shot. Many re-takes burn up cash.
Yeah! Filmed at sea, but with a green screen. A giant, over-priced ship hauling a green screen for the shoot, but the production can boast “real waves”.
Okay, so
- HAS to be an existing IP, and
- HAS to be something I could at least theoretically convince a studio to make, and
- Not “deliberately” (or at least obviously, deliberately) bad. (I’ll assume this covers “just openly wasting money for the sake of wasting money”)
So this would rule out “three hour, ultra-graphic film about the prophet Muhammed being gang-raped and tortured to death by all the Paramount Leaders of Communist China, starting with Mao and going to Xi.” And the FIRST criteria would probably rule out “Just hire John Waters, hand him the $150 mil in cash, and tell him ‘I don’t care what you do with the money—spend it, keep it, burn it, shove it up somebody, just make sure we can never possibly make this money back.’”
Ah! I think I’ve got it…it’ll be a remake of an existing movie, but I’m going to “radically recast it to recontextualize the subject matter to allow the characters to be viewed objectively through the refreshment of a new ethno-cultural lens, engaging the modern audiences in the conversation about historical narrative and the ‘Othering’ of voices and other ways of knowing.”
Sounds all fancy and smart, right? 'Means “Sam Peckinpah’s ‘Cross of Iron,’ but with an all-black cast.”
SInce you mentioned John Waters, a remake of “Pink Flamingos” is very unlikely to happen.
The Adventures of Roy Cohn
As a child The Scarlett Pimpernel was Roy’s favorite book, and he became a master of disguise. As an adult he took a cue from Superman comics and adopted the persona of a weak weirdo, and fought crime from the inside, using info he gleaned from his underworld clients.
A mob lawyer who’s a secret vigilante? That actually sounds like a decent television series. The premise is that he calculates that he can do more good in the long run that way then by simply turning on his clients.
Roy Cohn…a Quinn Martin Production, starring…Rob Schneider…brought to you by…Ford! Have you driven a Ford lately?
Tonight’s episode: Guilty But Acquitted
Dabney Coleman is Fred Trump…Jan Michael Vincent is Donald Trump.