Just as the title says. In your experience, what are the most helpful things relatives living far away can do to help out when you’ve just had your first baby and money is kind of tight? Gift cards? Diapers? Just a sympathetic ear?
Diapers diapers diapers. But gift cards, because you don’t know the baby’s size/parents’ preference (and they might not know yet either).
There’s probably also a good amount of stuff they didn’t get for their shower and haven’t bought yet, or didn’t know they need or haven’t needed yet but will soon.
A diapers.com gift card will stretch the farthest pennies-for-diapers wise, but they will probably need stuff from Babies R Us or whatever store they use most for baby gear (Target, Wal Mart) so a card from wherever they shop would be nice too.
My brother and his wife had Babies R Us gift cards that lasted probably through the niece’s first 9 months. He said he didn’t realize how expensive babies were until they ran out of gift cards!
Food that could be easily warmed up with little-or-no preparation was a godsend for us. Don’t know if online supermarket shopping has taken off in the States the way it has here, but if so a large delivery of tasty, freezable ready meals would come in very handy. If mom is breastfeeding make sure they are things that can be eaten one-handed!
Thanks, both of you. I don’t know how big their freezer is, or what diaper size they need…so maybe I’ll just send a Visa gift card and let them use it as they see fit?
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Depending on your budget, maid service would be nice.
Is mom going back to work at six weeks? Is she nursing?
Yes, she’s on maternity leave for about that long.
Eep. The lack of maternity provision in the States always leaves me gobsmacked. In the uk it’s a year, although the last 12 weeks are unpaid. I can’t imagine having to leave the little 'un after just 6 weeks.
Crap, I am also amazed at the entitlements in the US. I’m 4 months into a 12 months mat leave now (I get 12 weeks paid from my work, plus 19 weeks minimum pay from the government), and I can’t imagine having to have been back at full time work for 2 months already.
I don’t have family living here either, although that didn’t seem to be an issue in terms of food etc - things that I did value for the first few weeks were our housecleaners, who we kept on for a few weeks after I stopped work to give me a break.
The other thing that I really miss is babysitting services - without grandparents around an occasional evening out has to be negotiated with other parents we know, otherwise it costs us $15+ per hour making even a 3-4 hour trip for dinner and a movie close to $200 option ($60 babysitting, $40 movies, $40-60 dinner)…yeah, we don’t go out much!
Other than that, the gift card would always be welcome I’m sure.
I just did this (my baby is seven months) and am just now understanding how insane that is. That period will be the hardest: six week olds are fussy and demanding, they still don’t have nights and days straight, and then you are expected to go to work and perform. I can’t tell you how impossible it is. In the midst of it, I was too tired to notice, but now that I am somewhat recovered, I recognize how just ridiculous that was. If you want to be indulgent, this is when they will need emotional support.
Do you know if she hopes/intends to nurse? If she does, a high-quality pump makes a tremendous difference, and is the sort of thing it is easy to feel like you shouldn’t spend money on (“I will just work harder”). You might offer to pay the rent on a hospital-grade pump for as long as she wants it. I’d get it as soon as maternity leave begins: At two weeks, you can give the baby one bottle a day, which will let her get a 4-5 hour block of sleep. A 5 hour block is like heaven when you’ve been up every two hours for a couple weeks.
If you’re the one sending the gift card, get one for a store that’s close to the parents! I had tons of babies r us and target gift cards after I had my son, only problem is both were at least thirty minutes away from our house. Walmart, however, is just down the street!