“So they opened up this brand-new dyke bar in Cambridge. Beautiful dyke bar. Split level bar, techno music downstairs, industrial upstairs, women stand on line to get to this bar, and what do they name this bar? what do they name this bar? what do they name a dyke bar in the 1990’s, they name this bar… Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecrets! Like, ‘I’ve got a secret’… Like I’m going to go there every secret Saturday with my little secret dyke friends and live my little secret dyke life in my little secret dyke bar… [sub]seeeeeeeeeeeeeeecrets![/sub] And then they take out these big full page ads in all the newspapers, shows two women whispering together. It says ‘Find out what everybody’s been whispering about.’ Well, I’ll tell you what everybody was whispering about at the time, they were whispering about the stupid, homophobic fucking name you give a goddamn dyke bar in the nineteen-nineties, thank you very much, they open up a dyke bar and call it Secrets? Secrets? I’m going to open up a dyke bar and I’m going to call it GIRLS LICK GIRLS HERE!!!”
Actually, I’ve always wanted to open up a bar specifically for eunuchs and asexuals. I’d call it “Land O’ Lewis” (ten SPOOFE points to whoever recognizes the reference first!).
The bar that I hang out at is pink and sea green on the outside with rainbow awnings. It’s named after the owner.
And it is not even a block down from a church!
Our other gay bar is called Marys (go figure) and it is beautiful inside. All light oak and glass. It is owned by my friends, and they did such a good job it is almost too classy to be in our town.
Oh, yeah, we do have another named Liquid. Your basic club kid kind of bar. Lots of fun there, and the people are wild. But it just looks so seedy. I love it!
Don’t ask me: I’m utterly clueless about such things.
When I was living in Sherman Oaks, I used to do my banking on my lunch hour. Not having a car, I’d take the bus to the nearest bank branch office, which happened to be West Hollywood, which was a fairly “notorious” gay area.
Though apparently not to me. Because when I noticed the famous “Gay Cruises” billboard and commented on it(in a non derogatory way) to my co-workers, they were utterly appalled that I had no clue what a heavily gay area West Hollywood was. I’d only gone to that branch office about ten or so times.
sigh
Hey, how was I to know? It’s not like I spent a lot of time leering at people there, nor were gay couples openly making out!
[sub]Though, in retrospect, I suppose the “3 on 3 gay and lesbian basketball tournament” fliers should have been a tip off.[/sub]
No wonder I can’t get laid these days…all the heteros crowding the dance floor
I gotta go along with the industrial/overtly masculine motif. Also, if a bar looks particularly grungy, it’s probably a leather bar. We have the DC Eagle and it’s badly lit with heavy wood and leather decor.
Other clues it’s a leather bar…
1)There are Harleys parked outside, but you hear really fast disco music inside
2)You see men walking out, and no women
3)The bar has no windows
4)It’s a seedy-looking place in an otherwise upscale neighborhood.
5)The bar’s name mentions leather, eagles, stallions, wolves, or bears
6)If you see a black and blue flag with a bear pawprint in the upper left quadrant
7)The previously-mentioned rainbows, pink triangles, or lambdas
8)If there is a “Leather/Levis only” sign on the door
Yep, I sure am. Although the heavan and mine themes are universal, both have been used here.
Rumour’s sounds like a titty bar to me. Secret’s sounds as if it could be one also. We have a bar here called Lola’s. The name is a dead ringer for a gay bar, but it is just a local dive frequented by older college students, inner city types, some bikers, and skaters. It has a really cool juke box with lots of psycho-billy music.
I was once informed that if the names began with “Blue,” as in “The Blue Note,” then you had a winner. I tried to counter by saying the “blue” probably had something to do with blues music, but it was pretty useless.
Surprised at how many of these names are in use elsewhere, here’s a grab bag of gay bar names I can remember from Austin and Houston: Mary’s, The Farm House, The Chicken Coop, The Truckstop, Chutes, #'s, Pearl Street Warehouse, The Ripcord, Brazos River Bottom, Austin Country, The Manhole, The Locker Room, Midnight Sun, Studio 54, The Gentry, Harold’s, The Exile, Heaven, The Stallion, Mustangs, Decades, Rich’s, Kindred Spirits, The Back Porch. Hmmm, I thought I’d remember more.
Lola’s was a kind of one of everything bar when I was a reg there in the '80s. Gay friends I knew would visit both to mix and mingle, but also to just take in the scene and, as with many other visitors, score some drugs from one of the resident dealers. Frat types, bikers, trannies, yuppies, skaters, and always several knock out women with the pheremones set on full auto. You could walk in with $10 and leave 'faced with cab fare left over. It also got raided all the time. I haven’t been in a couple of years, but it’s still there - little building with no sign and a fenced in patio, all purple.
Well, that’s news to me. Actually, in Birmingham there used to be a really swank, upper-crust restaurant called The Brass Rail and catered to the elderly, social elite.
But who knows? They could have had drag shows late on Saturday nights.
We did used to have a cool place named Mabel’s Chainsaw Repair and Beauty Parlor that was most definitely a gay hangout. It was a dive, but God, talk about fun!
We still have a mostly lesbian oriented bar named Bill’s. Seems like that place has been in business for about twenty years now. Still going strong, too.
There was for a short time a leather bar named The Tool Box but I never got the chance to see what it was like. I had heard from my gay male friends that straight women were not welcome. I think it was a kind of really rough place. It didn’t last long, I do know that.
My favorite place in all the world, back in the late 70’s through mid-80’s was Belle’s, named so after Belle Watling. It had an enormous portrait of her right as you walked in. It was the place to rock the night away, straight or gay, and I miss it dreadfully. (It’s owner, the best looking guy I have ever seen in my life, died, and the building has since been torn down.)
We do still have The Circuit, Club 21 (which originally was called After Dark) and a few others, but I am not familiar with the newer ones. Club 21 always had the most marvelous drag shows. Far as I know, they still do.
Apparently, having the word “Tiki” in the title is a sign, as well, e.g. the Kon-Tiki in Galveston. Started talking to a drag queen down there on the streets Mardi Gras night, ended up hanging out with his whole group - mostly family, and straight other than him. They invited me along to the Kon-Tiki, where they were headed later, I said sure. Didn’t realize until after I was in what was up. Man, did I get hit on a lot that night!
Of course, talking about it to one of my gal friends the next day, she was all surprised that I didn’t know the Tiki-gay connection. Yeah, well that omniscience kit I ordered from Ronco hasn’t shown up yet…
