You know it's a great ChiDope when...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Let’s see…in order, I:

  1. Got my tattoo (not Superman…I opted for Chinese lettering) from a tattoo studio that was located, so far as I can tell, somewhere near El Salvador. Took longer to find the place than it did to get the tat.

  2. Got the phone number of our waitress from Chief O’Niell’s. There already pictures of her on my lap, so I guess she figured she had to. By the way, ts, that message I left for her on the way home? She called me back last night about 12:30.

  3. Got to fondle jarbabyj at the karaoke club. Full boobage in my hands. Oh, and jarbaby? Nice rack. :slight_smile:

  4. Brought the club down with a rousing rendition of Kryponite. Complete with faulty microphones.

  5. Got kissed by boli at the end of the evening.

All in all, I think I had the most productive weekend of us all.

22

jarbaby, I think I may have you beat on number of new bruises of indeterminate origin (though the locations aren’t quite as interesting). I count 7. And I know I didn’t fall off a bar stool, so I have no clue…

23

That barstool threw me.

I did not fall.

SUPERDUDE fell. And fell twice.

jarbaby

24

Actually, I was thrown. Twice.

25

…you get proposed to twice. Both times by Joey_Hemlock. You accept the second time. :smiley:

…you’re the subject of at least two of thinksnow’s blackmail pictures. That you can remember.

…on various occasions, you are both the groper and the gropee… (see above)

…your new shirt (ahem) is the subject of intense investigation and a series of lewd and humorous comments about, er, travel. (Mon dieu!)

…you laughed your ass off at Miss Creant’s hilarious jokes. (What? You mean I can’t send a memo to All Jews???)

…you get caught in the rain with magdalene and boli on more than one occasion and none of you really cares 'cause you’re having way too much fun shopping and eating yummy things.

I had a fabulous time meeting everyone. Thanks to all for a great weekend!

26

He wasn’t thrown, he just discovered my lap can turn into an instant slide when sat upon without invitation.

I don’t have any bruises…I need to try harder next time.

I had a blast this weekend - I enjoyed meeting the first timers and seeing everyone again so much. Thanks to vix and boli for the Girly Day of Fun preceding the festivities, thanks to porcupine for suggesting the whole thing, thanks to Geobabe for lending me her personal masseuse, thanks to jarbabyj for the SDMB mix that is chasing my Monday morning blues away, thanks to VileOrb for providing kick-ass backup vocals, thanks to UncleBill for wearing no pants, thanks to Miss Creant for trying to a) score us a ride to Marigold Bowl and/or b) trying to get us arrested for hooking, thanks to thinksnow in advance for deleting any unflattering pictures of me from the digital camera, thanks to Superdude from rescuing us from karaoke hell with that kick-ass rendition of Kryptonite, thanks to BunnyGirl for the shiny green pen…

:cue Academy Awards orchestra music and a large hook yanking me off stage:

27

And an extra special thanks to the Karaoke Bitch who refused to let Dopers sing until we instituted MOB RULE and forced her to let us on stage even though we TIPPED her AND were good singers.

What a tool.

Let’s not forget that I not only got a nice backrub, but my fingers were sucked on AND Superdude pulled my hair and called me a Bitch which was particularly exciting.

What fun! I can’t wait to do it again, but next time…MORE BRIE!

28

I saw that and I was very impressed on how you pulled that off. There’s a lesson here for all you would-be gropers: just put your hands out and let the boobs come to them.

29

I was tricked.

Women had been grabbing my boobs all night, and people had been commenting on the padding of my bra. Superdude came at me from behind and just put his hands in front of me. I swear to GOD! I thought he was vix.

jarbaby

30

I must know - who is doing the version of “Closer” on the mix? :giggle:

31

Well, Chicago is my kinda town! After bolting work in Miami at 2:30 Friday, I arrived unscathed at Resi’s about 6-ish, and that’s when the scathing began. Feeling a general sense of self-preservation, I travelled the CTA incognito (jeans and a t-shirt) and remained so for my first beer. Then I put on the BITE ME shirt, which confused the waitress. After the requisite number of beers, and a quorum of Dopers, the kilt went on, which REALLY confused the waitress. Rain moved us inside, where the much of the rest of that evening is shrouded in a veil of alcohol, boobage, bare asses (mine), and whips. Then another bar, more beer, and sharp objects flying through the air.

Then I went to the House of Ill Repute. OH MY GAWD! There was a note on the bulletproof window saying “Back in 10 mins”, so there I stand, waiting, in a kilt, at 3am, for about 10 minutes. I put on my best manly man face as folks wandered by. Clerk finally comes in, I check in and get to the room. Hmmm… I’ve stayed in nicer fighting positions in the Saudi desert, but hey, it’s a room. Then the phone rings, and I get (no joke) the offer of a blowjob, with the bonus of the GUY saying he’d swallow! Before we got to the price negotiation stage, I realized I had no idea what the going rate was for a 3:15am homosexual blowjob in Wrigleyville was, and hung up. Now I REALLY wonder what that guy was doing while he was away for 10 minutes.

After waking up bright and early the next afternoon, and taxiing to the Dim Sumption, porc and I started off to find the Amazing Disappearing Tattoo Parlor[sup]TM[/sup], which of course, we could not find, so we decided on Hot Monkey Sex. But the monkeys at the Lincoln Park Zoo were not having sex at the moment, and as the sky was rumbling and looking generally threatening, we got back to the car as the raindrops began their falling. We witnessed the Great Chicago Flood of August 25th from the safety of the Jeep, and wound our way through the canals to Chief O’Neill’s.

We warned the poor waitstaff specifically about the debauchery and spectacle that was to be forthcoming, and they all said “no problem”. HA! Some of the horrified glares from the bar regulars were quite amusing, but some folks joined in the fun! Then came the bowling alley? WTF?? But karaoke and bowling seem to have this symbiosis thing, so it all was good.

As reported earlier, porc wasn’t feeling well, so she, Miss Creant, and I went to IHOP for some pancakes and boobage (OK, I’m the one who enjoyed the boobage), then took Miss back to her car. porc still wasn’t feeling all that well, so I went into the House of Ill Repute to grab my stuff and drive her home. The room hadn’t been touched in the preceding 14 hours (maid service must be extra) so I grabbed my junk and turned the key in and went out to porc’s abode. Upon awakening Sunday and readying myself for the return flight, I discovered I was missing my boots, and must have left them behind at Sheffield House. I called, and they could not find my key. So we headed back into town, and upon arrival, I found that someone else had checked into my good old room, and was staying well past MY checkout time of 11am. After banging on my, I mean their, door for a while, the young couple let us in (me and the manager) and I searched for my boots. No boots. Turns out after I checked out at 3am, someone else checked IN at 6am, but I was still registered. Seems Blow Job Boy was making some extra moola without having to gargle. For some very strange reason, he actually made up the room for them, and upon discovering said neglected boots, threw them away. So, twenty minutes after arriving, I wiped the coffee droplets (GAWD, I hope that was COFFEE!!) and put my favorite foot coverings back on. Now it was getting tight on time for the flight out, so porc dropped me at the “L” stop, and I made my flight with moments to spare.

Now for specifics: Geobabe, jarbabyj, Vix, Miss Creant, Boli, porcupine, magdalene, BunnyGirl, Shadowfox, and all the rest of the ChiDoper Wimmin, “NICE RACKS!”

JoeyHemlock: Nice Rack!

Vix: Vive la Frances, both of 'em! Don’t worry about that groping picture, there are so many hands there you probably aren’t visible at all.

SuaSponte: Nice butt AND rack! (No silly, not yours, Geobabe’s)

Miss Creant: You are as hilarious as you are hot. And that’s pretty damned funny.

thinksnow, please do not post photos of my johnson on the internet. Ass cheeks: OK. Johnson: Not OK.

32

Mags! The covers of Closer and of Nookie are by Richard Cheese, from the album “Lounge Against the Machine”, a must have for any sarcastic, angry dopers.
Uncle Bill! Why did I miss all the people whipping their junk out on Friday night? I was too busy fiddling with Kerry Wood probably.

jarbaby

33

Would you believe I spent the last two hours uploading all this junk (go to ChiDope (23-24, 2001)) and have no really good blackmail photos?! Nah, didn’t think you would. I’m keeping those (for the blackmail, you see.)

I’ll work on a summary, but for now, enjoy the pix while I groove to jarbabys Official ChiDope Soundtrack[sup]tm[/sup].

34

There was sporadic “Liftin’ O’ the Kilt”. Not my doing.

35

Great photos ts, two questions:

  1. How 'bout a listing of jarbabys Official ChiDope Soundtrack[sup]tm[/sup] for those of us who could’nt be there?

  2. Wouldn’t The Cleavaging of Fenrir be a great name for a cheesy romance novel?

36

jarbaby will burn a soundtrack for anyone who wants it. Just drop me an email. It would be hard to just list the tracks because there’s a lot of little Simpson’s quotes and stuff.

jarbaby

37

Blackmail requires regret and a desire to cover up an indiscretion on the part of the blackmailee. I don’t think you can make a dime off this bunch. :wink:

Nice bra, vix. Weren’t you providing a similar service of lifting and separating for jarbabyj or was she doing it for you? I was so fascinated that I lost track.

38

You know it’s a great ChiDope when…

The last two Dopers head for Evanston for more beer and/or wild sex, and you’re standing alone on the corner of Elston, Kedzie, and Addison at 2:30 in the morning and White Castle is still open.

39

I know Superdude has lots more in his notebook. Here’s what I have:

From Friday at Resi’s:

Superdude to porc: I’m a guy. I’m supposed to finish before you.

Superdude: Just because I’m German doesn’t mean I’m a Nazi.
thinksnow: Necessarily, that is.

A discussion of which Flintstone would be the best in bed.

porc: I tuned it upside down and squeezed gently. You’ve got to squeeze gently.

jarbaby is sporting wood. (Kerry Wood)

jarbaby: I want to go mechanical bulling.

Dyno: I’m glad I never say anything to get quoted.

Everyone does a shot of Jaeger and jarbaby almost hurls.

thinksnow to UncleBill: If you finish your liter in one minute, I’ve got your drinks for the rest of the weekend:
UncleBill didn’t quite make it.

Dyno: Stop waving it around.

porc: I need ice. Anyone have any ice?

porc on the subject of blindfolds: You want something that’s airy and breathable.

And from Saturday at Chief O’Neill’s:

Complimentary Blowjobs

Sua Sponte about JoeyHemlock: Joey is making his own cleavage.

porc to Joey: Is it a nervous habit or did you eat it?

Geobabe: Just as long as everyone keeps their underwear on, I’ll be happy.

40

I’ll admit it. I’m a disgrace to Germans everywhere.

I don’t like Jagermeister.

I just want to emphasize again how fun our waitresses were on BOTH evenings! They had to put up with some wild, wacky shit, regardless of how well they were tipped. It was nice of them to pose for pictures and join in on the fun!

jarbaby