ChiDope Weekend Wrap-Up, or, Just How Many People Saw My Underpants?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Even though I can’t make dim sum, and I didn’t get to talk to nearly enough people last night, and I was not among the boobie-feelers or boobie-feltees, AND I didn’t take enough pictures (I took a whopping EIGHT–what did we get that Smart Media card for again?) but in spite of all that, I still think that all you guys are jerks…I mean, I had a great time and y’all party like rock stars.

In no particular order…

Tiburon sucks ass and she scent-marked our couch. What the hell? I left that can of Lysol there for a REASON.

Shibb & Mrs Oleth are just incredibly nice people. I mean that in a sincere and non-asshole way. And is Mrs. Oleth a number or what? How a gomer like Shibb lucked out like that, I’ll never know. And their children are beautiful, bright and very good at running in circles. I really wish I had gotten to talk to them more (kids and grown ups).

biggirl is EXACTLY what she seems to be on the boards. Warm, funny and turns the world on with her smile. I’m sorry I didn’t make it out to the hotel last night! Poo!

Jane D’Oh knows she is the wind beneath my wings. Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?

I was looking at the pictures last night when I got home, and I decided that I heart typo mna and posted as such. He’s the smurfiest. How can anyone not heart this guy? So you can make that don’t-touch-me pole oh, three inches long.

I touched SmackFu’s deinonychus and it was soft and furry. This guy. God, you were so ready to just smack me, weren’t you? Bitches be talking and talking to you, they just never shut they damn mouths. I made a point of touching you a lot because you strike me as the type that dislikes being touched by strangers. Does that make me an asshole? Probably.

Garfield had a keen slinky shirt on – hope someone got a picture of that – and is just about the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. You’d take him home to meet mom and then she’d run off with him to Guadalajara.

Zanshin is dreamy even if he does look like Tin Tin. Your karaoke song is TOTALLY “Rhinestone Cowboy” or maybe “Baby Come Back” soulfully emoted – I would like to see that performed in a snug, threadbare t-shirt, jeans and work boots please. Thhhhank you.

Judith Prietht far too cool for me to even talk about. I feel like a giant snorting dork in comparison to her.

Speaking of cool, Cajun Man & DrMatrix are the epitomes of cool. Cajun let me hold his sparkly lighter again. I wish their were a dance floor to watch DrMatrix get his groove on, but alas…

porcupine & UncleBeer, besides being welcome to cook in my house anytime (I am eating leftover spanakopita right this moment), are extraordinarily pleasant people to be around. I don’t know how else I can put it – I just really, really like 'em.

All I can say about Random is well done, brother. Actually I can say a lot more but he knows he’s a logistical god among insects. By the way, your cell phone is, in fact, still in my mailbox as of this morning. And what the hell am I going to do with all these blank name tags?

Ringo has the whole laconic Texan cowboy thing down pat. I still don’t know what to make of your comment that I’d make a good Texan, but I’ll take it as a compliment and leave it at that.

Eva Luna has far, far better stories than I can ever hope to have. And don’t get me started on the plov! Oh, the plov. And the puns! I plov Eva Luna.

iampunha & fizzestothetop are the most adorable couple I could ever hope to meet. Seriously. I’m really glad I got to meet you two and wish we could have talked more.

Dyno gives great big wondeful hugs and I am happy for him and bristlesage and her very nicely worn skirt. I wish I had gotten to talk to bristlesage. Rat farts!

And, Hamlet is a great big twerp.

People I didn’t get to talk to enough – that’s everyone really – but in particular, MEBuckner, hampster (who looks a lot like my very first boyfriend), Kat, boli, Demo, the guy at the bar who elbowed me in the head, Miss Creant, valerieblaise, Joey Hemlock…god. So many more. A lot of people. And all the people I missed meeting entirely!

2

Oh. I forgot to say…it was fun.

3

Girl, you have had either waaaay too much caffeine, or not nearly enough.

It was nice meeting all y’all who I did meet, and sorry I missed the rest of you. Anyone wanna come over for leftover plov and scrambled eggs?

The Grafton was a very pleasant surprise (it was a realy dive when it was called Winner’s, which was until a few months ago - I barely recognized the place! and the curry fries kicked butt!) But next time, I vote for a place with karaoke! Doper Karaoke - just imagine the possibilities for humiliation! Manifest Breastiny couldn’t hold a candle (sorry Tiburon).

4

Yeah yeah yeah…we all want photographic evidence of the weekend. :wink:

Glad the weekend went well!

(Next year…I have to be there next year…)

5

Dude. Did you not SEE my eight-picture layout? That’s all you need to know.

6

:eek: I guess I missed them!

:frowning:

7

:smack:
I see 'em. :slight_smile:

8

The ChiDope was indeed a blast. No gathering of Chicago dopers is complete without an almost total lack of air conditioning… and the leaky roof helped separate us from the rest of the riff-raff. Or are we the riff-raff? Me confused.

Thanks to Gundy, Random and all the others who helped put the event together. Y’all did a great job. And also thanks to Gundy for putting her hands in my pants. I’ve never been touched by a woman in Kermit underpants before and it was strangely thrilling.

Hamlet, the Packers still suck. They suck in that winning kind of way, but they suck nonetheless.

I was pleasantly surprised to find in Judith Prietht a person who fully appreciates the genius that is Super Troopers. And anyone I can talk Buffy and Angel with is okay in my book.

Eva Luna, I think you’ll have to freeze some of that plov for our next get-together.

Jane D’oh is the coolest – and her pictures of her and her boobs on vacation were incredible!

And to everyone else I met last night, y’all are the best. What a great group of folks.

And Doper wimmins are incredibly hot. That is all.

9

Is everyone watching Cajun Man do his Sean Connery impression in that first pic?

:smiley:

10

Some of y’all requested it, so here is the plov recipe again (and Zanshin, I’m perfectly willing to make it again if we have another appropriate gathering; I don’t think it freezes well.)

From The World of Jewish Cooking: More than 500 Traditional Recipes from Alsace to Yemen, by Gil Marks

Osh Palov (Bukharan Lamb and Fruit Pilaff), pp. 132-133 [note: no quinces this time of year, so I made a couple of substitutions. Granny Smith apples for the quince, and barberries for the raisins, which is why it was a bit more tart than the original recipe would have been.]

This Uzbek adaptation of the Persian polo is the region’s favorite dish, served at all special occasions as well as simple family gatherings. The best palov makers, almost always men [hey, nobody said Central Asia was a bastion of feminism!], are revered throughout the region. In the Uzbek manner, the rice is steamed on top of a stew called a zirvak. Palov is customarily cooked in a well-seasoned oval cast-iron pot called a kazan, but any oval, heavy-bottomed pot can be substituted. Dezira, a pinkish-tinged medium-grained variety, is the preferred rice. To make this dish, Uzbeks always use the meat and fat from a fat-tailed sheep, the fresher the better. The flavor is varied by adjusting the amount of spices (primarily cumin), meat, and vegetables in the zirvak (stew) or by mixing in assorted additions. Carrots and onions form the basis of all zirvaks. Adding apple, quince, and raisins is a popular Jewish variation.

[Now don’t you know more about plov than you ever wanted to?]

2 cups medium-grain or long-grain rice
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2 lbs. boneless lamb shoulder, in 1” cubes [the grocery store only had leg, not shoulder, so I used that and it was fine]
1 lb. carrots, cut julienne-style
3 large yellow onions, coarsely chopped
2 tsp. cumin seeds
1/2 t. ground cinnamon
1/4 t. ground turmeric
1 large tart apple, peeled, cored, and diced
1 quince, peeled, cored, and diced
1/2 c. cooked chickpeas
1/2 c. raisins
1 head garlic, separated but the cloves left whole
Salt to taste
Black pepper to taste
½ cup water
3-1/2 cups boiling water or chicken broth

  1. Soak the rice in water to cover for 30 minutes. Drain and set aside.
  2. Heat the oil in a large, heavy-bottomed, preferably oval pot over medium heat. Add the lamb and brown on all sides, about 10 min. Remove the lamb.
  3. Add the carrots and onions and saute until softened, about 10 min. Stir in the cumin seeds, cinnamon, and turmeric.
  4. Return the lamb to the pot. Stir in the apple, quince, chickpeas, raisins, garlic, salt, and pepper and 1/2 c. water. Cover, reduce the heat to low, and simmer, shaking the pan occasionally, until the meat is nearly tender, about 40 minutes.
  5. Using the back of a spoon, press down on the meat mixture to flatten as much as possible. Sprinkle the rice over the top, then drizzle with the boiling water or broth. Press down on the rice without stirring it into the meat. Cover the pot and simmer for 15 min.
  6. Using the handle of a wooden spoon, poke about 7 holes into the stew reaching to the bottom of the pan. Do not stir.
  7. Cover the pan with a towel or several paper towels, return the lid, and simmer over low heat until the rice is tender and the liquid is absorbed, about 20 minutes. Remove from the heat and let stand for 10 minutes.
  8. Transfer the rice to a serving platter, then spoon the meat mixture over the top. Serve accompanied with flat bread, Uzbek salads, and hot green tea.
11

I had a good time, as well.

I’m not going to try to list the names of all the folks I met, because I can remember too many, and there are even more I can’t recall.

I was tempted to offer the bartender about 50 bucks to turn the music off and crank up the AC in the back room.

And, as happened at the other ChiDope I attended ages ago, I didn’t have nearly enough time to talk to everyone I wanted to.

Simply the greatest group of folks I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting plastered with. We need to do this more often.

12

Did I mention I just got a job writing copy?

Eva, I think I’m still slightly tipsy. Hence my mania.

13

**Gundy, ** you are still tipsy? I thought you said you’d only had 2 drinks. Geez, and I thought I was a lightweight!

14

First of all…

Fuck you! It’s not THAT small. Other than that, though, I heart the jebus out of you. I’m VERY ANGRY that I didn’t get to see your underpants. I’m slightly mollified that you pulled your shirt out for my looking-down enjoyment. The picture you took of me kissing you is my favorite picture ever taken, and I’d appreciate it if you’d marry me. Thank you. You’re my favorite Svic ever.

She is, and you are.

Second of all:
I read the other thread, and it seems that all the ladies were diggin’ me. I’d like to know, then, why it is that I slept all alone in a great big king size bed at the hotel? Riddle me THAT, Batman. My initial hypothesis is that you’re a bunch of liarheads. Should that prove to be inaccurate, I’ll be forced to assume that I undergo some freaky Jekyll/Hyde transformation after drinking 8 or 10 pints of an experimental and bubbly formula developed in the labs of the Wild Goose and Grafton. I don’t remember these alleged feats of romantic prowess. Did I drag at least one comely lady off into a bathroom or dark corner and do unspeakable things to, on, or with her? Can anyone provide photographic evidence?

3rd through nth of all:
Big big thanks to Jane D’oh for setting us up at the hotel again. It’s really great to have a nice place to stay, inexpensively, and eat all the American toast one can stomach.

The Shedd Aquarium is the coolest thing ever. I’d been wanting to go for years, but somehow I just never managed it when I was in town. Now that I’ve been there, I really wish I hadn’t waited so long. Also, I would like a Caiman lizard, a freshwater otter, a beluga whale, and a few hundred garden eels for my birthday.

Speaking of the aquarium, Tiburon and Jane D’oh have some sort of story that promises to be very amusing, but they won’t tell me, and for that I will hate them both forevermore, in the way that involves not hating them at all but pretending that I do whenever we speak of the Locker Incident.

And speaking of Tiburon, I knew that I was looking forward to meeting her, but I didn’t know how much I would enjoy it when I actually did. She almost instantly jumped into the top three on my list of very favorite people ever in the whole wide world. If you can’t swing the marine life for my birthday, please buy me the house next door to Tibby, so I can see her every day and we can go out at night and pick up chicks. Thank you.

Only a couple sour notes: Gundy and Krusty are possible the WORST hosts ever. Oh my stars. You’d think that, after you invite a bunch of people over to your house, you’d have SOME food to feed them. A cracker, maybe, or a can of tuna. Come on, you guys, get with it. It’s lucky for you two that AJ does such a stellar Zoidberg, or it might have been a complete wash.

Also, I can’t believe you all forced me to make the drive back to Milwaukee at 0200. I thought I had at least one friend among you, but despite all my pleading and cajoling, nobody would offer me crash space. Well, SO SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU, but I didn’t fall asleep and die until AFTER I toppled into bed. I actually moaned with pleasure when my head hit the pillow.

Aside from those unfortunate incidents, SUCH a good time. I could type for hours and hours about everything that happened, but I’d still forget most of it. I think this was the funnest dopefest to date, for me. So very glad to see those of you I knew, and to meet those of you I didn’t.

15

Damn! All that and Gundy undies, too.

I’m sorry I had to miss it.

16

Well, I don’t know how the hell I missed Gundy’s undies (and Gundy for that matter!), but I had a fantastic time otherwise.

Every doper is amazingly attractive and sweet, and Tibby rocks!

17

Just got home after driving through some crazy wind!

What a fookin’ fanfreakin’tastic time!

Gundy - I didn’t scent mark your couch. That was you when you slid off my face.

Typo-man - Could you be any cuter? Fucker, you move down to Springfield so we can pick up chicks together!

Random - Dude. What can I even say. You let me maul your girlfriend. Repeatedly. You are …my hero. I heart her. I HEART HER! Do you hear me?! Lordy. I can’t tell if I hate your lucky SOB ass or if I love it. Lordy, Lordy, Lordy.

Monster - You are the most fantastic person evah. I was overwhelmed with your friendliness and damn, are you fantastic. I’m going to start praying right now that you turn gay. RIGHT NOW. (I even told Gundy, “Ohhh man, she’s the kind of woman I’m totally fall for.”)

Shib - Okay, so I was all ready to go paw at your wife but you look like you could so kick the shit out of me. I mean, I figured I might be able to outrun Random but your wife is pretty damn cute and I might get ahead of myself and try to drag her into the bathroom.

speaking of dragging into the bathroom…

Kyla - You are no longer allowed to talk unless you walk. And quit telling lies - if I got action, I’d be telling folks, not denying it.

Jane D’oh - Of this we shall never speak. NEVER. Hey, do you have a quarter?

Jarbabyj - [triumph] OHH YESSS, you are my Karen Walker. I find you sexay. OHH YESS [/triumph]

Joey - Dude - you are such a freakin’ stud!! No wonder you got so many kisses. Shit, man, you’re a woman magnet.

Tig - Tig, could you be any more tacklehuggable?? No one could possibly not adore you.

Okay, more updates to come…but first, I am going to the 1 hour photo shop to pick up the pictures of Manifest Breastiny.

Tibs.

18

Rawk. :smiley:

19

My wife and I had a wonderful time, both at The Wild Goose and The Grafton. I didn’t get to meet as many Dopers as I’d wanted to, but that was mostly my own fault as I was a little burnt out (long week at work) and mostly just sat with my wife. But enough people were making the rounds, and iampunha even offered to point out people if I was looking for anyone in particular. Unfortunately, by that time my lack of sleep and the Guinness I had been nursing were starting to get to me, and we left shortly afterwards.

The walk home was interesting, as by that time the thunderstorm was in full force. I think I set a new land-and-water (you should have seen some of the puddles I went through) speed record for pushing a wheelchair under adverse conditions.

And, as I mentioned in the now-closed thread, when I got home I suddenly realized that I had neglected to leave any money for my share of the bar tab. If someone would let me know how much (and to whom) I owe for a Guinness and three Cokes I’d appreciate it. After all, I can’t have you people thinking I’m a deadbeat.

I’ll probably post again later with more, but I’ve got things to do around the house.

20

Not til you learn to spell my name. And tell me the secret of the locker.

Isn’t it irritating how full of shit she is? I’m surprised her frail mortal skin doesn’t burst from the fecal pressure. For months she’s been bragging about how she can kick my ass, which is humorously false to anyone who’s ever seen either one of us (refer to Gundy’s pictures). Now she’s all on this kick about making out with girls. Maybe we need to do some kind of compulsive liar intervention on her.

Oh, and I forgot to mention the first time around - watching Gundy’s chagrin at being busted swearing (a number of times) by her son was too much fun. HAR HAR, I laughed.