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Your boss is named “Frosty.”
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A fight breaks out at a bar and the guys who accompanied you to the bar start punching you.
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Engine oil is gushing onto your windshield.
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The response to your application to the “college of your choice” is nothing more than a tersely worded “No.”
You see the pilot exiting the plane ahead of the skydivers.
You reach for your pilot chute and realize that you forgot to put on your rig.
You ask the pilot what all that fluid streaming off of the wing of the plane is and he immediately initiates a tight bank turn back toward the runway (This one really happened to me, the pilot forgot to replace the gas cap after refueling the plane).
You new next door neighbor’s friend parks her Jeep on your front lawn (a warning sign of things to come, I’m afraid).
Your doctor/dentist cheerfully says “This might hurt just a bit”.
Saddam Hussein phones you up and says, “you’re screwed now, mate”
You turn the TV on in the morning to maps showing evacuation routes out of the STATE!
You sleepily put your bra on backwards… and it fits better.
While in a meeting talking in front of everyone, the manager picks his nose and eats it. (This happened to my husband this week).
You “lose” your thong underwear.
The doctor says “Uh oh”.
The nurse takes one look and goes “JESUS CHRIST!” (This happened to me, folks)
The Customs officer asks you to step into the little room off to the side.
You find your missing vibrator…in your daughter’s drawer.
A casual conversation with your boss in the hall leads to him simultaniously leads to him telling the stor of how he’s a self made man, confiding with you that his father died an early age (which your boss is rapidly approaching himself) while he tries to sell you old suits he no longer fits into.
Your boss spontanioulsy shouts out the phrase “Brain Mastermabation!” for no apparent reason during a meeting with you and his boss.
Your boss ever cracks a joke about how it’s OK with him if you sit around in your underwear drinking beer at work just so long as your office door is closed, in front of a new, female hire he’s introducing around on her first day.
…she quits at noon.
Your boss ever says “I really got my nuts cut up today, let’s hope I don’t get 'em gut off now.” after you give him a peice of bad news.
Right after giving you a ten minute lecture on the importance of being a motivated self starter who’s a proactive team player he informs you that if you want your PO’s reviewed and signed in a timely matter you have to bug harass him about several times a day lest he forget about them.
<sigh> All of the above have happened to me…this week. My boss is some type of verbal auto wreck, when he starts talking you get that seem feeling you do when driving past an accident… you don’t WANT to slow down and look but at the same time you can’t help it. That’s kinda what talking to him feels like, only it make less sense than the tradgic, random carnage of a car wreck…
You have a 2:00 deadline and your computer goes on the fritz at 1:45.
You get to work and it seems someone has changed all your passwords.
You open SDMB and it doesn’t say Welcome back, if6was9 anymore…
After you click Submit you notice the quote you pasted to bolster your GD argument is actually a section of a VERY steamy IM conversation you were having.
Oh my goodness! It’s really bad! My SDMB page says “Welcome back, lel.” Oh no!
You know it gets worse when inevitably, someone comes in asking for a cite/link.
Ahem. Link?
The doctor walks in with a diagnosis, takes one look at your insurance policy and asks if you’ve considered taking out a mortgage
The leadoff story on the 5:00 news has a helicopter shot of houses 2 doors down. (A couple months ago.)
Going way back: Your family doctor walks into the emergency room just to say hi to you. But he won’t look at what’s under the bandages because it’s too icky for him. (And this guy became president of the AMA.)