because I can’t tell my boss but I have to share it
while setting up a meeting with another company, I called this person by the wrong name. Twice.
Fuuuuck.
anyone else want to share?
I recently sent 25,000 barrels of jet fuel to Bighamton, NY instead of Philadelphia, Pa.
Well, what’s the point of telling? You already win!
I *accidentally *programed the wrong coodinates into the computer at work, and well… lets just say that anyone who’s allergic to nuclear fallout should stay away from Turkmenistan.
Ah, you work for US military logistics, then…
ducks, runs…
I made an assumption regarding which measurement system was used to program one of the subsystems of a scientific instrument we built here at work. Turns out I was wrong. Oops. My bad. :smack:
On a related note. How come whenever I have a 50-50 choice, I’m wrong 100% of the time?
I am the source of The Evil[sup]TM[/sup] known as two six inch binders of Policies and Procedures and the creator of a truly hideous outcomes measurement system known as BENCHMARKING FOR SUCCESS
Top That!
While working for a state Assemblyman, I once misspelled another Assemblymember’s first name on a letter to him. My boss didn’t notice and signed anyway.
:eek:
Haha, that’s exactly what I was thinking too when I read that.
One time I wrote a very simple program for transfering some large files from one place to another, then deleting them. I ran it. Then I realized that the part that was supposed to transfer the files wasn’t working correctly. Then I realized that all those files were deleted anyway. Oops.
Why on earth would you think that someone’s name was “Fuuuuck”?
It’s probably just observational error, i.e. you don’t notice when you are right because of the smaller consequences.
While showing a client how to treat her cat so she could take him home and care for him overnight instead of speading a bunch of money at a late night veterinary clinic, I sent the cat into a seizure.
He was very sick and probably would have seizured at the next loud noise, but still, with the client there and all. She had to take him to the emergency clinic anyway for seizure watch. Suck.
I once sat at work for 5 hours (student working part time, paid by the hour). Did nothing but surf the net, in full view of my boss. Then clocked off and went home.
At another job I drank on duty. Every night. A lot. Also bagged a pretty coworker on company property. Repeatedly.
I had a part-time job in the business office of a small university.
One day I answered a phone call from a guy named Bubba Franklin, who wanted to talk to the business manager. I thought that was an unusual name for someone with such a dignified voice, so I asked him to repeat it. Bubba Franklin it was. So I wrote a post-it asking the business manager to call Bubba Franklin.
Next day, the business manager comes in laughing. Turns out the guy’s name was actually Brother Francis. He was calling from a monastery. God, did I feel stupid. At least my boss was laughing and not chewing me a new one, which is probably what I would have done.
I swear I actually opened this Board because it appears I’m leaving my job (after 5 years) and wanted to share my most egregious actions as an employee (and wanted to hear yours).
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There were times when I stayed in the office as late as 3am surfing porn.
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I was flown to Washington D.C. to oversee the audiovisual of our Board of Trustee Meetings and overslept TWO HOURS on the second day of the vent. Damn, those blackout curtains are amazing!
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As a caterer, I once snuck a disposable camera off a table at a gala event and took it to a bathroom stall and took a picture of my penis and then placed it back on the table.
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Also as a caterer I pitched a script to David Arquette while at a party. (But attempting to advance one’s career while catering I consider appropriate and even encouraged.)
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There was one other thing.
I was never caught doing any of the above. But yesterday the head of security of our IT dept. nailed me for having Kazaa on my computer, which I’ve used maybe five times.
I work full time, 40 hours a week, and I’d say I spend 20% of it asleep, not ten feet from my boss. She doesn’t even wake me up when I snore. The rest of the time, I’m generally watching TV, reading, or, not as often, surfing the 'net.
In past jobs, I’ve given friends discounts I wasn’t actually entitled to give. Ranged anywhere from a dollar or two to looking the other way while they did something we both could have gotten in serious legal trouble for.
Never did though, thankfully.
Is your real name Tyler Durden? 
Back when I did wiring for a campus I cut the wrong cable…1000-pair cable.
Took out 1000 people’s phones for 2 days while I clipped the thing back together.
Incredibly I was barely reprimanded.