Confession time: A bad thing you did at work

If you can pick just one

I did something rather bad about 13 years ago. I was fairly new to the college teaching gig and feeling overwhelmed by the avalanche of research papers that I knew I had to grade during finals week. (I have since learned not to schedule them so late!)

So…my cousin had recently come back from a cruise and given me one of those little bottles of coconut rum. I took it with me to the office, went and bought a cup of Coke, poured the rum in there and nipped at it while grading. That is so BAAAAAAD! Sure, it was weakened considerably by the soda, and I remained clear-headed enough to work properly, but still…

How bad have YOU been at work? It can be a recent, past, or ongoing thing.

Share.

Shagged a colleague in the empty floor space upstairs whilst we were looking to sublet it. Was fun, even when we realised the building next tous could see us. lasted for a few months.

Other than that, when i was first at college I was working at a large retail store and hated it, They had a section out the back of really high shelves and on the top there were a lot of soft furnishings I went to sleep for my entire shift up on that shelf twice, got sick of climbing up there so quit.

And now I am a manager in an IT company he he

Back when I was in the Colonial Williamsburg Fife and Drum Corps…
After a job, we all change out of our costumes and go home. If we’ve screwed up on the job, your boss yells at you for a bit, so you don’t screw up again.
[Mr. Sutphvin (my boss) sends someone into the locker room to get me, since he’s pissed about something I did on the march.]

[Enter RobertLiguori.]
Mr. Sutphvin: Liguori, I’ll have you know that…Liguori, where are your pants?

Me: In my locker, sir.

Mr. Sutphvin: …Liguori, why are you not wearing your pants?

Me: I was told you wanted to see me immediately.

Mr. Sutphvin: …Nevemind. Just go home.

Me: Yessir. [Goes to leave.]

Mr. Sutphvin: No, wait. Liguori, get dressed, and then go home.

Me: Yessir. [Goes back to locker room]

And that’s how I learned to avert punishment through selective lack of clothing. Ah, jobs in which my Lennier-esque black belt in the Stance of the Twisted Lexeme don’t get me fired…

I used to work at a gas station for about six months about two years ago and would occasionally allow a friend to have more merchandise than he or she actually paid for.

$5 of gas here, a bottle of beer there. Luckily, I never got caught.

Used to go to a nearby restaurant/lounge across the street for liquid lunch on Fridays, get shitfaced, and then go back to the office to finish the day. But being in that frame of mind, I didn’t feel like working. So I’d call up a couple of my favorite clients and do some heavy flirting. Oh, and all the while being paid by a Federal Government agency.

Lessee…

While working 3rd shift alone at an answering service, being a horny 23 year old who went to school full time as well, I just got tired of being repressed and took off all my clothes and jerked off on top of my desk. Luckily there was a lull, so no one was neglected and I had some me time.

:smiley:

Or am I kidding?

Nope. I did it.

:stuck_out_tongue:

Had sex with a former student on the desk in my classroom. She was two years older than me, so no harm, no foul.

Was using a fork lift to put a manager’s motorcycle on top of the building a bad thing?

If not, was parking his bike in the left-turn lane in front of the shop, about one hundred yards from a major intersection, one month later at five o’clock a bad thing?

Would he have been bad if he really had put a dead rat into my breakfast taco, instead of just putting it on my windshield?

How about the time in a factory when a guy had both his arms pulled up inside his coveralls to get some money out of his pocket (a Big No-No, according to The Rules) and I walked up and tied the arms of his coveralls in a square knot, then walked away leaving him alone in the middle of the room? Does the fact that he couldn’t open his smock or open the doors to the room affect the egregiousness of what I did? :evil winking smiley:

I am soooo glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read this, as my monitor would have been covered with it…

…takes off pants to go see her boss…

I did the same. But was caught.

I once went to the office late night, drunk, with a girl. I smiled every time I saw the conference room table after that. :wink: :wink: nudge nudge say no more.

Worked a factory job for a summer during college. I figured out a guy lived on my way to work and took the bus, so I offered to pick him up on my way in. He got me stoned every day that summer. No one noticed. Half the factory was stoned. The other half was drunk.

2 years ago I took a part-time maintenance job at a hotel to help pay greens fees. It was 3rd shift and we had a front desk person working. I applied a little efficiency and got a system set where all my work was done by 2 am. At that time I’d head home and return at 6:45 to punch out. Lasted a little over a year before I was so bored I quit.

Statute of limitations has to be up so I guess I can share this as well. When I was 16 I worked at a bowling alley called “Kuglitches” since renamed “New Berlin Lanes”. Anyway, I was a glorified barback, with my main responsibility being going to the basement and repacking the unbroken returnables into the empty boxes. This is also where, unsupervised, the stock was kept. The building was set up so at the back of the building the basement opened to the parking lot/loading area. Can you see where this is going?

I’m still curious to see the expense sheets for the summer of '86. :eek:

:smiley:

My best friend is in the Army Fife and Drum Corps in DC. Perhaps I’ll suggest this to her.

Ava

A co-worker and I had hot, screaming monkey sex on a very, very large conference table in the Virginia State Capital.

Thomas Jefferson, who designed the building, would have been proud.

Where do I begin?

I came back to work from lunch very, very drunk once when I worked at a textiles company. I could barely stand up. I was dating an alcoholic and this was before I figured out I couldn’t keep up with him, especially at lunch.

Later on at that same job I had an affair with my married, old man boss. That was pretty bad of me, but terrible of him because it was like he was a very naughty 14 year old again. He even jerked off while sitting at his desk ; I was just outside his office at my desk. I would just giggle. His son worked there too and he’d grope me while the son practically in the room with us.

Was she your slave?

Oh, and when I was an RA at college, I would get drunk when I was on duty, keep the lock out fines I charged and gave the dorm director a blow job and then told everyone I could . That was pretty bad, since he was married and also not supposed to be doing that kind of stuff with students. If it was today, he would have been fired, but back then he just had to fire me. His career didn’t suffer and he’s still in the same marriage so I don’t really feel too bad.

I also worked in the dining service. I ate the place out of house and home without paying, didn’t charge friends sometimes and stole money for the soda machine.

After a fashion, yes.

:o I’ve done this. Not exactly, not naked or on top of my desk. But my desk does face the door, and the door has a nice open window part of it.

It was a snowy Friday afternoon, and the building was deserted. What can I say? I was bored. I have an…egg in my car.

I can’t believe I’m admitting this.

For the terminally slow or innocent, that would be a vibrating egg. Not a real one.

Anyone seen Elenia?

Yeah, she’s out in the car.

Still? Hell, she’s been sitting in the driveway for the past hour.