Well that time I actually brought it into the office.
I really *am * blushing, you know.
Let’s see:
Drunk at work? Yes
Sex at work? Yes
There was one company I knew I was leaving. The last couple of weeks, I made phone calls to all of their worldwide offices. Just to run up the phone bill.
Kinda fun trying to make a phone call to the Central African Republic!
Let’s see:
Drunk at work? Yes
Sex at work? Yes
There was one company I knew I was leaving. The last couple of weeks, I made phone calls to all of their worldwide offices. Just to run up the phone bill.
Kinda fun trying to make a phone call to the Central African Republic!
Well, my stuff seems so tame now…
Another thing I did while at that university: I used the official envelopes to mail out stuff postage-free. Well, not free. CA paid for it. That’s probably why the state is so far in the hole now. I used several such envelopes to mail out an entire short story to some friends in another state.
Umm…surfed the web all day and posted on the SDMB while I was supposed to be working? That’s an occasional thing, but it still goes on when I get a burst of unproductivity (usually after being really busy) and I feel pretty guilty about it…aside from that, some hanky panky at a restaurant where I used to work graveyard. Oh yeah, using occasional office supplies and postage at more than one place. I don’t do that anymore.
Okay, when I was younger I worked at a grocery store and regularly … umm … helped myself to merchandise. The younger guys at the store did the same and left too much “damaged” stuff around and I took the fall for it eventually. Not that I’m bitter about that, as I was guilty and I only admitted to (and paid for) about probably 5% of the total merchandise I pilfered over the years.
Haven’t stolen a thing since, though.
Dang. Either I’ve led a very sheltered life… or y’all are pervs!
(
for the humor impaired)
Worst I’ve done is spend the entire day at work reading and posting to the SDMB instead of doing what I was supposed to be doing. And I’ve done that lots.
Oh wait – I have had filthy dirty conversations over IM while I’ve been at work. No actual consummation on the premises, though. Does that count?
Worst thing? Probably working as a data entry drone for a factory. Boss would take fridays off, and the stuff he left me to do on those days took all of 90 minutes to complete. So I’d do all but a little bit, then spend all day surfing the net, pretending I was ‘working’ 
I actually felt pretty guilty about it. But if I finished everything quick, they’d send me home and I wouldn’t get paid as much money. So I gotta find some way to fill up the time!
:dubious: :dubious: :dubious: :dubious: :dubious: :dubious:
Haven’t any of you guys read TubaDiva’s announcement at the beginning of this forum??
I can understand a retiree posting, kinda, sorta … maybe. I cannot comprehend posting, were I still part of the workforce.
:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:
… and the worst thing I ever did as an employee was messing around on my computer (on/off line), and my bosses knew exactly what I was doing. I never hid it.
But maybe my upbringing is to blame for my workaholic tendencies. Just call me a :wally I guess?
Having read TubaDiva’s annoucement, I still feel solid enough im my internt ambiguity to post.
As a teen I worked in a hardware store for a summer. We had a candy shelf, and I would eat at least 1 if not 2 candy bars a day and not pay for them. In my defense, I only started doing it when I saw the most senior (senior in terms of years worked there) employee do it too.
When I worked for an an asbestos monitoring/testing company, I stole a box fan when I left the job. It will probably come back to bite me in the ass, because it was a fan used in asbestos removal sites to stir up the fibers in the air. I used the damn thing without ever washing it or letting it run outside to clear out the bad stuff. In five years if I get lung cancer, I’ll know why. I also justify this because they stole extension cords from me. OK, they didn’t steal, but I left some of my personal ones at a jobsite because the company never had enough, and the next guy there took them and I never got them back.
I have jerked off at work, but never on top of a desk (of course, I’ve never had a job where I got a desk, so I couldn’t do that if I wanted to.)
I worked in a lab one summer, and would peruse the boards and surf a lot while working. I had a friend who would have payed me $20 to steal him a small amount of chloroform from the lab, but I refused. I don’t know what he wanted to use it for, but I didn’t want to be responsible for it.
A few years later in a position where I had an office I had a few ‘Born Free’ moments.
I honestly can’t think of the job that I didn’t christen in some fashion.
Horny Workaholics Gone Wild
I’ve never brought toys or just ‘happened’ to have them with me.
Oh… there were two jobs where I gave someone elaborate phone sex because in one I had not only my work done for the rest of the week, but had to be on the phone to wait for a call for my boss. While coming up with a phone fantasy was a good extemporaneous creative writing project, damn it’s tedious.
Ironically, the one time I made a TRAGIC mistake and dated a co-worker, I wouldn’t even hug him there for not wanting to diminish my 19 year old professionalism.
I had a friend who swiped a bottle of ether from his job. Believe me, when they descibe ether in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as a rotten, rotten drug they couldn’t be more accurate. I wouldn’t recommend finding out for yourself.
As far as things I’ve done, I used to work nights cleaning floors at a Wal-Mart that wasn’t 24 hour. The managers would lock us in when they left and let us out when they came in. Pretty much every night was a party until they fired us all. I’m not going to bother going into detail because I could go on for days…
Years and years ago, I worked in an office where I had to close the place down. I photocopied many parts of my body for an art project. Use your imagination. It’s pretty hard to balance yourself on top of a copier without putting any body weight on the fragile surface. Place originals on glass indeed!
Let’s see, sex at work, stoned at work, sleeping at work, playing on the computer at work, check check check check. Only the last one has happened at my current job.
When I worked at McDonalds, I used to steal money from my own register whenever they allowed someone else to work from the same drawer. They couldn’t know which of us had stolen it and they weren’t supposed to allow more than one person on a drawer anyway.
I actually am a much nicer person than I sound!
When I was 22, I was working in a small, 3-person office. One day, when the other two were out, my boyfriend stopped by to bring me lunch and we had sex in the administrative assistant’s chair (I hated her). :o
I did an occasional overnight shift at an answering service when I was 19 or so. There’s not a whole hell of a lot of calls to be answered at 3 in the morning, so I felt justified smoking a joint and taking a nap.
I wish I had something better. sigh
Oh, I remembered another one! I had this boss that was such a bitch and whenever she wasn’t around I would spit in her chair. You know, I really am a pretty nice person.
Chloroform is a nice anestetic, god, I wish I could spell. I’m glad that none of my friends are into drugs, as the amount of stuff I work with on a daily basis would make most normal people drool. Granted I have no desire to use any of the recreationally.
I haven’t done much bad at work, other than goof around with chemicals to make pretty colors or explosives.
At my drugstore job, I’d occasionally tape a receipt a customer left behind to a soda or candy bar. When they’d leave me alone without warning to stay late with the guy who mopped the floors, I’d help myself to an evening meal.
At my painting job, the foreman left two of us - me and a good friend - alone on a nearly-completed site for half the day. We finished up in an hour and proeeded to spend three smoking pot, eating order-in pizza and putting away a six-pack of Mike’s.
I stole a bunch of shit from the retail job (think Walgreen’s) I had when I was 18. In the hour or two after the store closed, I would have to go around with two big trash cans on a trolley thing and collect all the garbage from under the registers and around the store. As I worked, I would grab items now and then and dump them into the big cans, but outside the plastic-bag liner. Then when I went outside to empty the cans into the dumpster, I’d bag up my loot and leave it under the dumpster, where I could pick it up later. I have a weird mixture of pride in the system and shame about the theft, and I’ve never done anything like it since. (I don’t really count joining my co-workers in vulturing through the storeroom when a dot-com I was at exploded. Got some free stuff that otherwise would have been liquidated at a fraction of its value for the creditors.)
This is hilarious.