My first job out of college was at an office in a neighborhood with a vibrant night life. After going out for drinks with some coworkers and friends, we went back to my office and smoked several joints.
Same job: We had really comfortable chairs. I would fall asleep every day after lunch. It was almost Pavlovian. I learned to wiggle my pencil in my hand so it just looked like I was thinking.
When in college I worked for my brother during the summer. Had my girlfriend come over and nailed her in the office more than once when he was on a business call.
I don’t think I could bring myself to do any of those things nowadays, though. I can think of too many ways of getting caught now.
When I worked at Six Flags, I got in trouble once for giving another employee a free bag of cotton candy. An undercover cop watched the exchange from the bushes and promptly reported me to my boss. I got put on probation and I was so ashamed!
When I was in grad school, I used to use the phone in my lab to call long-distance. And I’d also drop my mail in the office’s outgoing mail box just so I wouldn’t have to pay for postage.
Sex on the clock, I was dating a woman I was regularly partnered with for my 24’s as an EMT.
Probably the most dramatic violations… I worked overnight maintenance at an amusment park. Me and one of the guys I worked with used to finish our work list in about 2 hours and screw around the rest of the time. One night we both had our respective lady friends come visit. We drank a 12 pack between the 4 of us and we barbequed a tri-tip and some baked potatoes in the picnic area. We also used to pull a couple of the little race cars off the track and drive them around rather than walking. I also used to regularly snatch 10-20 extra parking passes from the box when working the parking attendant station…easy way to make an extra $50-100. Kept more till overages than I can count. Sold arcade tokens to customers that I retrieved from coin jams. Identified and exploited a couple holes in register/cupon logging, resold items people walked off without.
I worked there for a long time in various capacities
Stole a few things from one employer and sold them on ebay.
A friend and I did tech support for a large computer manufactuer (rhymes with Hell) a few years back. We dealt with the worst customers, just a constant flow of fucking screaming bitches every day. Our phones had the capability to conference call customers to a completely unrelated site – say, they would call us and we could “transfer” them to Microsoft via a conference call. On the last couple of days before we quit, we’d put the horrible customers on hold and transfer them to places like Burger King or sex shops, and then hit the mute button and hold the line to listen to the ensuring hilarity.
Imagine an irate, frothing-at-the-mouth, super-entitled customer expecting a supervisor to pick up, only to hear “Burger King, we do it your way! Can I help you?” or “Palace of Pleasure, what’s *your * kink today?”
Horrible, but so satisfying. We’d also take two hour lunches and go across the street to Applebee’s and drink like fishes.
Nice, understanding customers pretty much got whatever they asked for.
[QUOTE=monstro]
When I worked at Six Flags, I got in trouble once for giving another employee a free bag of cotton candy. An undercover cop watched the exchange from the bushes and promptly reported me to my boss. I got put on probation and I was so ashamed!
[QUOTE]
That reminds me of another one. I worked in a rinky dink amusement park while in high school. Me and another kid decided to swip some cotton candy. We waited till the park was closed, snuck into the hut where they kept the cotton candy, swiped a couple and threw them over the fence. After signing out, we went and picked them up. We were so nervous.
[QUOTE=monstro]
When I worked at Six Flags, I got in trouble once for giving another employee a free bag of cotton candy. An undercover cop watched the exchange from the bushes and promptly reported me to my boss. I got put on probation and I was so ashamed!
What’s this thing you have about cotton candy? And I notice your screen name sound like . . .
When I worked in a well known fast food place, when friends payed for medium meals, I’d give them a large meal. Or if they just bought a burger, I’d sneak fries into their bag too.
Well I did use office stationary (headed paper and all) to send a love letter to a girl who used to work there that I was kind of seeing. The idea being to have it as a surprise.
I’ve still got the job but the girl didn’t work out so well :rolleyes:
My first job out of college was as a newspaper reporter for a local weekly paper. Each week, one reporter (we all took turns) had to go out and do one of those “man on the street” things. Basically, we came up with a question, went to some public place in the community, and acosted strangers, asking them if they would answer the question, give their name, and let us take their photo. It was humiliating, because most people would not want to do it and they would look at you like you were crazy and sometimes be mean. (One person threatened to destroy a coworker’s camera.)
So needless to say, I HATED doing this! So once, I just interviewed five of my friends. None of my editors knew they were my friends, for all they knew they were just strangers off the street. It was pretty hilarious!
Once worked for construction company where the foreman who drove us all to work in a crew cab truck insisted that we toss our soda cans and food wrappers out the window. Anyone leaving trash in the company truck was severly reprimanded. I was on the verge of quitting the job anyway so one day when I was driving a dump truck full of refuse to the landfill for the company I happened to pass by this foremans house. I can not express the great pleasure I still feel about dumping it all in his drive. He deserved it. I got fired and prosecuted but it was so worth it.
I photocopied my butt once. I’ve had sex at work once (gas station job - in the breakroom - I worked with my boyfriend). Also nabbed postage, envelopes, and some blank note cards.
