I’ve experienced, either first hand or seen happen to other people, lots of truely disgusting things. But for christs sake, what you did to me tops the cake.
WHEN I find you I’m going to make your miserable life up to this point seem like a cake walk. I’m going to make being flayed alive with a rusty spice grater while being skull fucked by siphilitic rhino seem like an all expense paid vacation. It’s not a matter of IF chode boy, it’s a matter of when.
You better hope you have a relative who can find a DNA sample around whatever piece of shit you call a home, because that’s the only way they’ll be able to identify you.
You have gone out of your way to make my life a little worse, so that’s EXACTLY what I’m going to do to you.
This is your warning.
I’m calling you out BITCH!
City Public Service: This fuck you is for YOU!
Ok: I keep losing power at work. Sometimes it’s only for a few min late at night, just enough to rest my clock and make me late for work. Other times it’s longer.
Last night… ohhhh last night. Last night was bad enough SOMEONE needs to suffer.
I lost power around 9-something pm. I was just starting to get hungry then BAM. No power for little colin.
I wait a few min then give up and try to get someting to eat.
Did I mention that I have no candles and couldn’t find my flashlight?
But I had left over chinese takeout in the fridge.
Mmmmm
So after much stumbling around and a slight gashing of the arm I make it to the kitchen, eventually find a fork and grab by the smell of it the seasame (spelling!?!) beef and take a big heaping forkfull.
Now, the chinese restraunt where I get my take out puts LOTS of red peppers in this dish, it makes it sweet and spicy and very good. I managed to get a mouthfull of rep pepper pods and couldn’t understand why it was so chewy…
Instant pain.
Now I KNOW I have drinks in the fridge. I have some OJ, some guava juice, pine apple juice and some water.
The problem is, the OJ, guava and pineapple juices are all in the same shaped containers. I also have lime juice which is in the same general shaped container as this japanese sweet milk drink.
I’m dying here.
So I grab something open it up and slam it down.
Lime juice.
I choke spray lime juice out of my mouth, it splashes everywhere and some splashes into my eyes.
I tried again.
Guava… not much of an improvement I’ll tell you that. But on the other hand I’m half way to a Zombie.
This time I go for the pitcher of water. Unfortunatly since it’s dark I don’t really have all that good of an aim to pour water into my mouht. So I pretty much upend the pitcher over my face with my mouth open. Cold, cold BITTERLY cold water goes EVERYWHERE. The lime juice taste and guava flavor are now out of my mouth. My mouth still burns, the milk drink would take care of that… but I don’t want to risk it. I put everything back in the fridge and close the door and turn to walk out of the kitchen and…
<WHAM>
Yup, the combination of lime juice, guava, and water turned my kitchen floor into a slip in slide.
So I lay on the kitchen floor for a while. In pain, eyes and mouth burning, head throbbing in this cold wet sticky mess. I ditch my clothes on the floor and stagger off to the shower and suffer several more injuries. I wash off the juice and then go to sleep.
I wake up still no power. But it’s now daylight, I shower and head to work, a few hours late.
On my way out the door I notice that there are lights on in the other apartments… I go in side and check the breakers, they’re ok.
I reach the conclusion that it’s just my apartment…
I call the apt complex then I call CPS.
I just got a call back from CPS… They shut off power to the wrong address.
