When the FBI threatening to prosecute you if you won’t testify doesn’t phase you because you know that your what your employer can do to you is much worse.
…you spend your first day training your replacement. They start tomorrow…
…you have to be alert of the machinery around you because you could easily get killed.
…you have to watch out for poisonous snakes.
…if you are a Catholic and every day, a priest administers Last Rites before you enter the factory, because if you die no human will be able to come within 10 miles of your body.
…leaving your job requires exactly 73 hours notice: The amount of time you have to spend in a special environment to clean off.
…the EPA has long since stopped checking your worksite, because if anything goes wrong it’s all over anyway.
…it takes two people working in unison, each with one half of the code, to do anything.
Hey, Knead…you work at the Skunk Works by any chance?
And Zenster…where the frick do you work?
…life insurance salesmen don’t bother you any more…
When sneezing is prohibited, because the slightest noise could get you all killed.
[sup]Aaah, life on a USN SSBN…[/sup]
When you soak in water past the signs that say ‘No Swimming or Fishing: Contaminated Water,’ in three languages, for 6-8 hours a day.
When they warn you to turn off your cell phone when you go to work because it may interfere with the frequencies the missles they’re firing off nearby operate on.
When unexplained explosions rock the base, followed by the sirens of ambulances and fire trucks, but no one will ever tell you what happened. (Hmmm, that one belongs in the vaguely creepy thread…)
Ahh, thought this was a bit of a joke thread, so I kind of overstated the case. I do however work in the semiconductor industry, but not in the fab. The fab (Which is next door) does however work with very nasty stuff, I believe the detectors are set to go off and evacuate the buildings if they detect 1 part per 1.4 million or so (Need to recheck this.) As for the MSDS’s…well, there are enough to take up an entire room or two.
when you have to walk through downtown Ryiadh, KSA
when you have to drive in Saudi Arabia
when you have protective gear made by the lowest bidder
…The bookshelf holds such classics as: The Emergency Plan, The Safety Analysis Report, The Emergency Implementation Procedures, and my personal favorite * The Code of Federal Regulations Title 10 Chapter 1 Part 20: Standards for Radiation Protection*, etc.
Hidden under a desk in front of you is a small plastic box with 2 buttons on opposite sides. When both buttons are pressed, the SWAT team shows up within 10 minutes (in theory). It is there in case terrorists decide to pay an unexpected visit.
I could tell you, but then I’d have to hire you.
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When you don’t have to worry about the nuke warhead going off, just falling out of the hoist cradle.
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When you have a buddy who’s an LT in the Cop Squadron, and he tells his troops to look for you.
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When your EOD Flight feels its your turn in the rotation of FNGs to be the recipient of practical jokes.
Tripler
Detcord, C4, and Claymores, oh my!
…the headwinds are so strong you’re plan is actually moving backwards. (Hurricane Hunters.)
My last job:
-Being caught on fire is a daily occurrence, and no one really pays attention when it happens. “Damn. Gotta buy a new shirt”
-Having your boss run a mig welding wire through the protective glove and half way through your hand, and then say “quit whining” when you hop around screaming.
. . .you get monthly HIV tests at work.
. . .you hear ‘Medical Emergency, Medical Emergency, Medical Emergency’, and you’re the guy running down ladders to confront god knows what horror show.
. . .you are advised ‘Wear Civilian Clothing for Security Reasons’ on a trip abroad, then have to carry an olive green seabag with your name and SSN stenciled on it (through an airport in a Muslim country).
. . .you routinely train to deal with helicopter crashes, drownings, and radiation leakage.
Sometimes I miss that job. But not often!
When you need an armed guard between you and a “problem child” you are trying to counsel.
When your clients have to leave their weapons with security. Amazing no one got hurt back in the days when our office was easily accessible (pre-Oklahoma bombing).
When one of your clients is featured on a news program about mental illness and post traumatic stress disorder and tells the reporter that he once planned to overtake the VA and hold hostages but he couldn’t find enough veterans to help him pull it off.
When part of your office furnishings includes a hidden, silent alarm that summons armed guards.
When the cadavers in the anatomy lab start coming back to life, there’s a power failure, and a minor earthquake has just shut the main door and you don’t have your keys!
when the required training sessions are entitled:
Blood born pathegens and you
dealing with dangerous people
unarmed self defense
Communicable diseases and how to avoid them.
Your building has been evacuated for a Hazmat, 30 coworkers are transported to the hospital for respiratory complaints, and the Hazmat team finds out it was just a tuna sandwitch left in the breakroom fridge too long. (Yes, this really happened)